Stick or Twist: WWE Vengeance 2005

WWE Vengeance 2005

June 26th 2005

Thomas & Mack Center, Las Vegas, Nevada

Attendance: 9,850

* Opening video hypes Cena getting drafted then the Hell in the Cell ("For every beginning, there comes an end"). Triple H, Bischoff, JR & Batista give their thoughts. Dave: "I know there will be pain, I know there will be blood; I just don't care". The set has a cool gambling/Las Vegas theme. 

Oh shit, look who's joined JR and King on commentary - Coach! This will be awkward. I remember interviews with JR and King on WWE.com at the time and their sentiment was they didn't like it and they always try to fiddle with the formula and it doesn't work. If THEY weren't on board with Coach being there how were we meant to be?

Match 1: WWE Intercontinental Championship Match - Carlito (C) vs Shelton Benjamin

Justin Roberts wrongly announces Carlito as the challenger. He was drafted to Raw the Monday before the show & won the belt in his first match, like he won the US Title in his first Smackdown match. They highlight a botched heelo by Shelton as a factor in his loss & question his condition as a result. There are quite a few signs in the crowd for Carlito, with duelling chants greeting both men.

Fireman's carry and flash pin by Benjamin has Carlito begging off. King thinks that immediacy shows Shelton's worried about his condition & having a long match. He impressively jackknifes out of a Carlito headscissors for 2. Carlito resorts to blows but gets kneed in the breadbasket. Finally he knocks Shelton down, but Benji nips up and gets a clothesline, prompting Carlito to try leaving only to be cut off. Carlito ducks a Stinger Splash but Shelton leaps up top and hits a clothesline. 1, 2, no. Benji's starting to look dazed.

Carlito chokes Shelton in the ropes to get the advantage, kicking his head causing him to fall outside to "Shelton sucks" and "Carlito" chants. A trio of slams back inside gets 2. RESTHOLD draws Shelton chants. Carlito randomly jaw jacks with the ref and Shelton school boys him for 2. King suggests Coach gets Carlito's hair do, but not JR - wouldn't fit under his hat!

Benji comes back with a jumping back elbow and Samoan Drop. It takes him a while but he finally fires up with rights, a baaack body drop and inverted backbreaker. 1, 2, no! Benji goes up top but loses his balance. Carlito tries cutting him off but gets hot shotted on the top rope, Shelton bumping outside! Springboard bulldog! 1, 2... no! Carlito undoes the top turnbuckle and hits an awkward Protobomb variant for 2. Dragon whip by Shelton! Stinger Splash... Carlito sends Shelton into the exposed buckle and rolls him up with the tights! 1, 2, 3!

Winner: Carlito (still champion)

Verdict: 7/10. Carlito was surprisingly uninspired working Shelton over, but Benjamin's high spots and the timing of his comebacks helped make for an entertaining match.

* Video package for Christy vs Victoria shows Victoria losing her temper after losing a bikini contest, Christy losing her temper the week after, then Victoria broke a glass... something over Christy's head mid-interview.

Match 2: Victoria vs Christy Hemme

Victoria's heel version of her Milkshake song is interesting. Christy runs to the ring & chases Victoria before being cut off. Hemme punts Victoria when her head is lowered from a whip then bashes her head against the canvas & top turnbuckle, choking her only to get hot shotted. Victoria pulls some of Christy's hair in a hangwoman variant. Lots of chokes - what is this, an early 90s Undertaker match? RESTHOLD. Vegas: "We want puppies". God the screams in this match, it's like the women's final at Wimbledon! 

Insert Serena Williams level yelps

Widow's Peak... Christy tries a roll up escape but gets dragged up by the hair and bashed against the buckle. Moonsault... Christy moved! She looks angry and does some hair pull throws. DDT. 1, 2, no! That surprised JR, he was like "A DDTEEE!" Victoria charges Christy in the corner, Hemme tries her split-legged sunset flip but Victoria drops down and grabs the ropes to get the 3!

Winner: Victoria

Verdict: 3.5/10. Very little of substance here. Christy sold anger pretty well but her offence was shit. Surprisingly, so was Victoria's.

 * Todd Grisham interviews John Cena. His street lingo is pretty embarrassing in retrospect. He feels like the new kid and asks Todd if he ever was. T-Grish goes on a tangent, revealing he had an "accident" once and got called "Todd Pissham". Cena was like "WTF!?" and returns to the point... being new, he's a target. He calls Christian the weird kid at the back of the bus picking his boogers and Y2J the guy in leopard skin spandex who stuffed his crotch. Too bad for them Cena was "the kid voted most likely to kick someone's ass". The Champ is here!

* The Kane vs Edge feud is covered next, highlighting Kane and Lita's weird relationship before she turned on him at the Gold Rush final. Pain was Kane's only friend but now he's found a pain that hurts so much. We then see the awesomely ridiculous wedding where Kane came out from under the canvas. "By the power invested in me by the Lord... JESUS CHRIST!!" Kane: "I'M BAAAAAACK!"

Match 3: Edge (Mr. Money in the Bank, w/Lita) vs Kane

Kane chases Edge round the ring & gets cut off (just like last match, Dammit D'Lo) only to hit the corner 10 punch, punching past the fan's 10 count. He maims Edge in the corner. Vegas: "We want Matt!" Clothesline over the top by Kane, who notices Lita talking shit to fans so decides to stalk her. Edge fails at a sneak attack. Vegas: "She's a crack whore!" Edge rakes the eyes and avoids getting shit canned but Kane punches him off the apron. King: "These fans say slut like it's a bad thing." 

Kane goes to snake eyes Edge into the post but Lita pulls him down to help him escape, throw Kane to the post & hit the spear outside! Edge tries to get a cheap count out. Kane gets in at 8 only to eat a baseball slide dropkick. Edge stomps Kane all over, shouldering him in the corner and kicking the crap out of him springing off the ropes. Kane's absorbing Edge's rights and asks for more, but Edge slips out of a slam and hits the Edge-o-matic. Kane sits up! And gets dropkicked down. And sits up again! Corner clotheslines by Kane. Edge blocks one but leaps off the second rope right into an uppercut! 

Snake eyes & lariat by Kane gets 2. He gets punted lowering his head on a whip but comes back with a sidewalk slam. Top rope clothesline... dropkicked out of mid air by Edge! Spear... met with a big boot! Kane wants a chokeslam but has to kick an interfering Snitsky off the apron. Goozle... Lita's in the ring with a chair. She flirts with Kane - it doesn't work! He chokes her, gets the chair & tries to Pillmanize her neck!! As the ref stops it, Snitsky sneaks in with a big boot. Edge covers - 1, 2... no. Fans were biting on that. Edge-a-cution... Kane throws him off like a beast, then goozles Snitsky as he comes off the top. Lita distracts the ref & Edge goes to hit Kane with the briefcase but Kane uses the tron to dodge and it hits Snitsky! GOOZLE! Chokeslam to Hell! 1, 2, 3! Fans loved that finish.

Winner: Kane

Verdict: 7.5/10. Here's how you book a punch-kick match. The opening wasn't anything spectacular but the flow and timing these two had together caused things to really pick up. I was gagging for an Edge vs Undertaker feud after this (if he could get something like this from Kane, imagine what he could do with Taker), he showed much more chemistry with Kane than the year before at Backlash.

* Fuck yeah the Angle-HBK rematch is next so they show highlights from Mania. HBK is interviewed. He seems aghast when Todd claimed Angle guaranteed he'd be the first to make him tap twice. HBK: "Story of my life, 'HBK can you top that?' I dunno. One thing though GUARANTEED! VENGEANCE... will be mine."

Match 4: Kurt Angle vs Shawn Michaels

JR marks out over seeing Shawn's first ever match and calls both men future Hall of Famers. Massive HBK chants greet Shawn in ring. JR claims Kurt's been wrestling since five years old!

Ace go behind by Angle forces a rope break. Oh God, Shawn hangs on for a headlock and I'm getting flashbacks to that bit from Mania. Angle doesn't mess around though, trying a single leg takedown to "Angle sucks" chants. Kurt gets the first knockdown only to get hip tossed & arm dragged. Angle awesomely wrestles from the bottom up to regain control, kneeing Shawn in the arm, causing him to take a breather. MASSIVE chops by Shawn then force KURT to take a breather. Kurt uses Shawn's concern for his arm against him to get a half crab. Michaels gets the ropes. Sunset flip... countered to the anklelock but Shawn rolls through & clotheslines Kurt out. Shawn pursues him outside. 

An Angle Slam to the post like at Mania is countered. Kurt then ducks a chop to German suplex Shawn onto the Spanish announce table! Vegas: "Holy shit!" The table didn't break & King wonders if Shawn's head hit one of the TVs under the table top. Angle brings HBK back in, viciously knees him and gets a neckbreaker for 2. MASSIVE uppercuts by Kurt, who powerbombs Michales into the buckle! 1, 2... no. JR: "That may have been the damnedest thing I've ever seen." RESTHOLD. JR: "I wouldn't count Shawn Michaels out if he was on his deathbed." JR gives Shawn credit for using the chops that irritate Angle, but he hits the buckles from a charge and eats a HUGE German! 1, 2... no! 

Angle Slam... armdrag counter. HBK gets flattened with a clothesline for 2. Kurt tries a belly to belly superplex but Shawn knocks him off, only to jump into a regular belly to belly. 1, 2, no. King: "I've heard cats say 'quick as Kurt Angle'" RESTHOLD CITY, Kurt cranking the neck ala Orton. Michaels suplexes out and both men brawl. King: "I don't think Kurt Angle can ever afford to throw wrestling out the window." Flying forearm by Shawn! Nip up. It's the HBK comeback special. Jesus his knee nearly hit Kurt's skull on the top rope elbow. He tunes up the band... oh Lord Kurt STEAMROLLERS him with a lariat!!! 1, 2, NO! Another Angle Slam effort... countered to a swinging DDT! 1, 2... no! Kurt's mouth is bleeding.

Michaels tries a suplex but Kurt floats behind for a German! He holds on but gets elbowed SQUARE on the bridge of the nose. Angle Slam! 1... 2... NO. Anklelock attempt... small package by Shawn - 1, 2... NO. Kurt rolls out of a waistlock tremendously to get the anklelock! HBK rolls through & Angle collides with the ref. Oh God, Kurt backdrops Michaels over the top and Shawn lands right on the hurt leg, giving it the hard sell. One smark buys it hook line and sinker: "C'mon Shawn! Don't let us down! C'mon shake it off! *Doctors call for help* Oh c'mon!" Kurt drags him back in. The straps are down. Anklelock! JR: "I'll be damned, Angle's gonna do it after all." Angle holds on despite Shawn's kicking. Rampant HBK chants. He reaches the ropes but Angle drags him back to the middle. Shawn finally rolls through to send Kurt to the post.

JR gets pissed at Coach counting Shawn out. Kurt walks right into a GARGANTUAN SWEET CHIN MUSIC!!! 1... 2... NO! Shawn's still draped over Kurt so he keeps his shoulder up, and just to be safe the ref pretends his hand is hurt too haha. Kurt finally shakes Shawn off and randomly heads up top. JR: "What's Angle thinking here?" King: "You can't think like Kurt Angle, JR... your head would explode." Naturally he's swatted out of mid air with Sweet Chin Music! 1... 2... 3! King: "Coach, can you believe it?" Coach: "I can't believe it!" JR: "Shawn Michaels believes it!"

Winner: Shawn Michaels 

Verdict: 9.5/10. Phenomenal as you'd expect. It felt much more organic than the Mania match aside from the finish; rather than the forced "this is going to be a classic" layout of the first match this was just balls to the wall "it's another day at the office but that still means you're getting my best." One of my all time favourite matches.

* Coach snuck backstage to interview Batista. He doesn't fancy Dave's odds, claims it took shady officiating for him to win at Backlash (bollocks) & like an idiot calls him "scared spitless". So Dave calls him an "ASS KISSING suck up" and reiterates he's not scared of Trips or the Cell. "Triple H is going to have to KILL ME to take my title." Ohnoz, Hunter shows up, says nobody beats him in the Cell, cuing a pull apart brawl!

* Randomly there's a sofa in the ring, and Lillian Garica. She introduces the man that's made her like a whirlwind - Viscera! Oh lord. Vis is wearing a huge, ace Heffner jacket. King to JR: "I know you're happily married, but is your wife?" Vis scared her at first but he's shown her what a SEXY man he is haha. She invites Vis to sit down, dims the lights and serenades him with a dodgy song about wanting him to "fill [her] up inside" that degenerates into "I love you"s. Lillian gets on one knee & proposes! Vis says that's heavy which is rich coming from him, but he'll consider it.

THE GODFATHER is here!!! He brought some Hoes! They're wearing fuck all. King: "Chug-a-lug, chug-a-lug, chug-a-lug - it's the HO TRAIN, JR!" JR: "I'm shocked to see The Godfather." King: "I can't believe that with these Hoes in the ring you're looking at The Godfather. What's wrong with you?" JR: "I just said I was SHOCKED to see THE GODFATHER. There's not a damn thing wrong with me!" Godfather says Vis used to be a pimp in training - and you're talking about getting married? You really want one woman for the rest of your life? Or do you want to ride the HO TRAIN! Vis pervs over all the Hoes. Vegas: "Save the Hoes!" Vis: "All aboard the HOOO TRAIIIN!" JR: "He's gots to have it." Lilian breaks down in tears which is impressive. Vis turns back to Lilian on the ramp & says sorry.

* The WWE Title match is next. They recap Cena's shock draft to Raw & Christian interrupting ("you talk like Snoop Dogg but look like Corey Haim"). Cena gave him a five second pose in a nice call back. Y2J was annoyed to hear Christian was number one contender, so he beat up Cena after tagging with him, convincing Bischoff to make it a triple threat.

Match 5: Triple Threat Match for the WWE Championship - John Cena (C) vs Chris Jericho vs Christian (w/Tyson Tomko)

Cap's overalls look a little off white. King proposes commentary each pick a guy to bet on and fights over Cap with Coach. Coach: "I know JR will pick John Cena." JR: "...it don't matter who JR picks."

Y2J slaps the piss out of Cena and gets taken down but John winds up double teamed by the Canucks. They try to upstaging each other with chops but Y2J turns on Christian. Tomko botches low bridging Jericho out, so pulls him out & hot shots him on the barricade. Cena hits a jumping hip toss & stomps a mudhole in Cap. Tomko clubs John in plain sight of the ref, so he's naturally told "YOU'RRREEEE OUTTA HEREEE!!!". Some problem solver he is. Christian runs into a Cena body press, then tries to leapfrog out of the corner but gets FUed to the outside! 

Top rope reverse elbow by Y2J! Gets 2. A thumb to the eye cuts off a Cena comeback to small "Cena sucks" chants. Bulldog by Jericho! Lionsault... Cena rolls away but runs into a forearm and is taken outside with a baseball slide. Chris sets up the Spanish table to some ECW chants. Cena blocks the attempted suplex through it and DDTs Jericho on the title belt. Cap sends John to the steps & hooks a RSTHOLD back in ring. Cap: "You can't see me!" He runs into a Cena clothesline. King: "I think he saw him". Yet another "ducked head on a whip gets punted" spot as John gets the Protobomb only for Jericho to pull him out into the steps to stop the Five Knuckle Shuffle. Cap baseball slides Y2J into referee Earl Hebner, who tumbles painfully onto the Spanish table. 

Chris rolls through a knee & tries the Walls but Cap kicks him off into Cena (who'd got on the apron) & rolls him up for 2! Jericho cuts Christian off up top, then Cena powerbombs Jericho as he superplexes Christian!!! Cena gets near falls on both, then fires up with clotheslines, slamming Y2J & drop toe holding Cap onto him face first! U can't C me... DOUBLE FIVE KNUCKLE SHUFFLE. Sunset flips to Jericho... Cap school boys Cena off for a near fall. DOUBLE JACKKNIFE by Chris gets 2, so Cena and Cap double clothesline him then take each other out. E'rbody down! A collision in the corner sees Y2J fall outside. Roll up on Cap: 1, 2... no. FU... rake to the eyes & reverse DDT by Cap! 1, 2... no!

Christian is salivating, and his attempt to bring the belt in allows Tomko to sneak in & clothesline Cena (what is this night of shit run ins?). That only gets 2, so Cap has a tantrum & raises his own hands, but Earl pulls them down and tells him "NO!" Backdrop to the outside by Cena! WALLS OF JERICHO! Cap started to get back in so Y2J springboard dropkicks him & reapplies the hold. Cap sneaks a roll up on Jericho: 1, 2... no. Bulldog ducked... Y2J shoves Christian off an Unprettier attempt... into the arms of Cena! He swings Cap's feet into Chris and hits the FU! 1... 2... 3!

Winner: John Cena (still champion)

Verdict: 8/10. Lots of one man in, one man out stuff, but a great bunch of spots near the end with everyone involved at once, and all three pairings never dull together.

* Oh boy, the Cell lowers to the ominous cage lowering noise. JR puts over Trips has never lost in the Cell (well, one on one) & Dave's never been in it. The feud is recapped from the very beginning. After winning the Backlash rematch, Dave rather dickishly says maybe Hunter isn't good enough, causing him to walk out for a while. Dave then showed Sting level blind faith in trusting Flair only to be betrayed when H came back to make the challenge for the Cell match.

Main Event: Hell in the Cell Match for the World Heavyweight Championship - Batista (C) vs Triple H

The door is chained shut so the Cell hangs over the ring as both men enter. JR: "The list of men Triple H has beaten inside the Cell reads like a who's who: Mick Foley, Chris Jericho, Kevin Nash, Shawn Michaels." King: "Mick Foley openly admitted, JR, that he was never the same man after he faced Triple H inside Hell in the Cell." Ace, Dave's finally got his Saliva theme! He got a huge pop, dare I say bigger than Cena's. He's in all white which is playing with fire. In a great move, he doesn't climb the ropes when posing in the corners because he doesn't want Hunter jumping him. The Cell finally lowers & "the grandfather" in JR  warns the audience this won't be family viewing.

Rights by Trips to start, but Dave comes back with a clothesline and sidewalk slam. Both men block attempt to send the other to the Cell. Oh, NOW we get a lock up! Batista powers H down, clotheslining him over the top, slamming the back of his head to the Cell & whipping him into it before Trips comes back by whipping him to the post. Big time Batista chants, as Hunter knocks him off the apron into the Cell from a head of steam! JR: "The Cell has a sadomasochistic personality in my view. It waits for its next victim, much like Triple H." Hunter finds a toolbox(!) and gets a chain from it. He whips it over Dave's back. Urgh, he reaches over the top to choke Batista with the chain, then knocks him off the apron so it's even tighter! 

Quickly Dave fights back, hotshotting Trips, whipping him with the chain, driving him back first into the post and corner of the Cell over and over, then finally taking him face first into the Cell. That busts H open... but before the Animal can capitalise the Game hits a beautiful spinebuster! Holy shit Hunter finds a chair WRAPPPED IN BARBED WIRE & whacks Dave in the back with it!! The cuts open up quickly. Batista thankfully blocks a headshot, but eats a facebreaker. Clothesline by Dave. He's got the chair... JESUS he whacks Hunter right in the head with it! JR: "FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!" He rakes the barbs over H's face!!! Now he grates his face into the Cell. Snake eyes into the Cell! Trips eventually evades Dave's shoulders in the corner and tries a Pedigree on the barbed chair, but Dave backdrops out and gets a front powerslam on the chair. 1... 2... no. 

Batista gets the chain... and Hunter lures him into a DDT on the barbed chair! That's his cue to blade. Some dick yells boring as H rams the Animal's wound into the Cell. Hunter's got the hammer. JR: "Not the damned sledgehammer!" Dave slugs back, but his Batista Bomb is backdropped out of. Hammer shot by Hunter! 1... 2... NO! Big Batista chants. Hunter swings for a prone Dave... and gets kicked in the nuts. Batista grabs the hammer, roars and runs at H... and gets punched with the chain! 1, 2... no. Trips goes to the second rope for another chain punch... but Dave gets the hammer head right under Hunter's jaw! He spits blood on impact (yeah sure) & Flair flops. JR: "The slobber knocker of all slobber knockers."

Dave brings the base of the steps in the ring, props it in the corner and splatters Hunter's face into it. Thumbs up? Thumbs down... but Trips gets a colossal low blow. Pedigree!! 1... 2... NO! King: "He can't believe it, Triple H has lived and died by the Pedigree." H sets the stair base flat in the ring. Pedigree on the base?! ...SPINEBUSTER ON THE BASE BY BATISTA!!! Batista Bomb attempt... Trips grabbed the hammer & goes to swing at Dave... but gets hit with the Batista Bomb before he can strike!!! 1... 2... 3! What a great finish, with a great image of Hunter downed, hammer still in hand.

Winner: Batista (still champion)

Verdict: 9/10. Excellent weapons brawl. It started with fundamental "you use the weapon, I use the weapon" booking, but my God the way they upped and upped the violence was just phenomenal. It was great to see some different weapons from the norm (the chain, THAT barbed wire chair, the base of the steps as opposed to the top). Dave might not be a five star wrestler, but he's a great brawler who'll adapt to a gimmick or environment well. Major props to Hunter too.

Final Thoughts: Oh boy, I just loved Spring/Summer 2005 in WWE. This is one of my personal favourite pay per views of all time. It's only a six match card, so of course there's a bit of filler with that daft Viscera angle, but other than that they used the time between matches well with lots of hype packages and interviews. The women's match is the only one that's an outright dud. Besides that, you've got a decent IC Title match, a well booked Kane-Edge match, legitimately one of the best matches of all time from Kurt and HBK, a good WWE Title match and Batista and Triple H's best match together in a great Cell match with some pretty innovative violence. This is the definition of a keeper.

TL;DR - A great, focused show with little that failed to deliver.

Final Verdict: STICK

Ten Years Of A Certain Trigger: Maximo Park, Manchester Albert Hall, 18/11/15

As I alluded to in my previous post November has seen me try to make up for the lack of gigs I had in the middle of the year. A mere two days after seeing Kacey bedazzle the Albert Hall I had returned for a really big show for me personally: my first ever Maximo Park gig, with them playing A Certain Trigger in full for its 10th birthday to boot!  

I don't quite know how I'd not seen Maximo until now. I'd lost touch with them a little bit, coming upon their past couple of albums rather late but they remain one of my all time favourite acts. In particular, amongst a few other personal connections I feel towards the band, playing A Certain Trigger on repeat played a big part in keeping me sane during my GCSEs. So to hear them dust it off in its entirety at this cut price show (£20 face value per ticket! That's getting rarer and rarer for established acts these days sadly) was music to my ears. 

Before we got to the birthday... boy? Record? Anyway, before the focus of the night's celebrations got its outing, we were treated to a short set of hits and rarities. Opening with the ecstatic "Girls Who Play Guitars" (a song I was elated to see appear on the Rock Band store way back when, prompting me and my mate play the shit out of it), songs spanning the band's entire existence were covered.

In addition to the opener, several tracks from sophomore album Our Earthly Pleasures made an appearance. Most obviously "Our Velocity" was included, and really how can it be excluded from ANY Maximo Park set? It's very rare to find a song that begins with such a break neck sugar rush and is somehow able to COUNTINUE to build and build and reach such a joyous climax. How that song didn't get to number one I'll never know.

Also played, much to my delight was "Russian Literature" in what was a home coming of sorts with the song being about writing trips lead singer Paul Smith used to make to Manchester Central Library. His post song patter covering the Transpennine Express reference got quite a hearty cheer. It's certainly my favourite song to reference such a crappy train service, the drive of the keys and drums creating a great sense of paranoia. It feels like a song fitting for a chase scene.

Speaking of Paul - what a tremendous front man he is! Scissor kicking, hip swaying, microphone stand whirling, skittish and energetic, he is an absolutely blistering performer. I always admire performers who maintain their dialect in their singing voices and Paul is no exception. That voice, as Geordie as Newcy Broon, not only adds to the depth of character the songs contain but also gives them an even greater sense of lyrical honesty.

Special mention should also go to keyboardist Lukas Wooller. When my mate saw we were stood in front of the bit of the stage with the keys he thought we'd be out of luck as far as crowd interaction goes. But, ignoring the fact that a mere keyboard isn't going to be a big enough obstacle to stop Paul saying hi to us, Lukas had a great energy about him too. Bobbing up and down, encouraging sing alongs and leading hand claps, he was terrific. Dude could use a Rock Band 3 style keytar instead.

This being a night to reflect on the earlier days of the band, we also saw a few rarities get an outing. First to show was one of my favourite B-sides of theirs (kids, ask your parents if you don't know what a B-side is) "A19". Its was a little curious to see it so close to "Girls Who Play Guitars" in the set what with it feeling like a blueprint for that song musically, but it was fantastic to hear it again nonetheless, particularly as it features one of my all time favourite Maximo Park lines: "My only aspirations were those held on an A4 print out." I just so happened to have picked up their rarities album Missing Songs years back when I was invited for interview at Oxford to go to uni there (for the knock down price of £3 too). It was the best thing to come from a bit of a miserable time there, and when they didn't offer me a place that line really stuck with me.

In addition we got to hear one of their "more Smiths-ey" songs "A Year Of Doubt". Lines like "You said you were speechless and God I wish you were" wouldn't sound too out of place coming from the mouth of a young Morrissey and the musical cues the song takes from the band sounded much more obvious now that Paul mentioned it. This in addition to "Russian Literature" felt like a really a nice way to pay homage to the heritage of the city hosting the band.  

One minor quibble? Third album Quicken The Heart got slightly short shift. Only "The Kids Are Sick Again" got played. That record gives me lots of great memories of warm, summery feelings having finished my first year at university. I suppose warm and summery wouldn't have been appropriate for a luke-warm mid-winter Manchester night.

Closing the first set with "Books From Boxes", a short intermission ensued so that Paul could make a much appreciated costume change into time-period appropriate red and black before the familiar drums of "Signal And Sign" kick off our journey through A Certain Trigger.

Hearing all the songs in order in this live setting really highlighted for me the energy behind the record. Here is one of these rare instances where ever song sounds like a single. Of course, the likes of "Apply Some Pressure" and "Graffiti" in the opening flurry actually were singles and very successful ones. The latter was the song through which I discovered the band, the guitar play was enticing and what would become that unmistakable voice of Paul Smith, both sonically and lyrically, lead me to believe there was something great worth paying attention to. The former was an absolute pleasure to experience again with the layers on layers of vocals at its climax.

For the most part the band and Paul in particular really seemed to make a concerted effort to avoid affectations and aspects of their performance that worked their way into the songs over the years following the album's release, so a great deal of the time things would sound as close to the studio version of the album as possible. "I Want You To Stay" proved one exception, with Paul raising the volume in the second chorus (but perhaps only because his mind went blank on what the words were) and the guitars carrying a bit more bite to them as opposed to the gentler jingles of the original.

What felt like a neat little Easter Egg for long term fans came when Paul broke out his old "comfort blanket" in his little red lyric book for particularly wordy songs like "Once, A Glimpse" and "Acrobat". This cued a little missive about the awful job AZ Lyrics made of listing the lyrics to the former. "I don't think you're gonna get that early bed" indeed.

"Acrobat" was one of the songs I was most keen on hearing, somewhat reminiscent of "Belong" by R.E.M. with a monologue describing a relationship in a state of disrepair forming the basis of the song. With its sparse arrangements and reliance on the subtleties of Archis Tiku's bass guitar, it always felt to me like a key component in establishing the lyrical identity of the band. Whether it's covering the mundanities of being together with someone ("My foot nearly brushes your leg, I can't draw it away, I can't push it forward, it lies stranded, it belongs to someone else") or digressions on imagery ("The sky is often used as a metaphor, I suppose that's because it's so clear and expansive"), it was just as much a standout as the neat counting thread that flows through "The Night I Lost My Head" and the confessional "Going Missing".

Rounding off "the world's longest encore" with the sweet one-upmanship of "Kiss You Better" I was, much like "Going Missing", left wondering "Has midnight come too soon again?" The time warp was over, I was no longer 15 again, but that didn't exactly feel like a loss! I can only envy those who have tickets to the "by popular demand" reprise of the tour later in December, they are in for a treat, a true testament to Maximo's affection for their audience. With performances of this quality that affection will be returned in kind for a long time to come.

Setlist

1. Girls Who Play Guitars
2. The National Health
3. A19
4. Leave This Island
5. The Kids Are Sick Again
6. Russian Literature
7. Hips and Lips
8. A Year of Doubt
9. Midnight on the Hill
10. Our Velocity
11. Books from Boxes

A Certain Trigger

1. Signal and Sign
2. Apply Some Pressure
3. Graffiti
4. Postcard of a Painting
5. Going Missing
6. I Want You to Stay
7. Limassol
8. The Coast Is Always Changing
9. The Night I Lost My Head
10. Once, a Glimpse
11. Now I'm All Over the Shop
12. Acrobat
13. Kiss You Better

Kacey Musgraves' Country & Western Rhinestone Revue, Manchester Albert Hall, 16/11/15

Well it's been a while, but other than an impulse trip to see Cat Power (which was interesting) I'd not been to a gig since watching Foo Fighters at LCCC in July. July! It's disgraceful. This week saw me make a start to correcting that.

It's been well over a year since I saw Kacey Musgraves at The Ritz. The intervening time has seen her release Pageant Material, her second album for Mercury Nashville, which to this listener's ears is a tremendously fun record that further enhances her reputation as one of the wittiest and most down to earth songwriters in country music.

Before I get into Kacey's show though I have to mention the support act Sugar and the Hi-Lows. They played a great set littered with out right foot-stompers and made an indelible impression on the audience (including yours truly). Cries of disappointment rang out when they informed us "this is our last song." I hope they come back soon.

Sugar and the Hi-Lows

So, onto Kacey's set. The central theme to Pageant Material's artwork is retained via the band being dressed in ridiculous hot pink suits with LEDs embedded into them and the stage being decked in the sparkly, tinselly curtains from the album's cover. Or as one guy in front of me put it, "The decoration looks a bit cheap dunnit?" Also playing up to the pageant theme, during a more intimate part of the set with the band closer to the front of the stage, each band member was required to show a talent. Here, I have to give major props to the juggling guitarist and the guy who plays all those complicated instruments like the steel pedal guitar with the neat "drunk guy" impression.

Heading into this show Kacey expressed her desire to present an old school, feel good country show on this tour, and the natural warmth that radiates from her songwriting carries over tremendously into the performance. She has a great command of her audience and fills the show with friendly patter, sharing stories of being told off for high fiving Prince Harry at the weekend's Royal Variety Performance, hugging Elton John and fretting over playing "Follow Your Arrow" in what was formerly a church ("Will I get struck by lightning?"). 

She also possesses this almost June Carter like ability to put her tongue in her cheek without getting overly tawdry: after guitarist boyfriend Misa Arrianga finished his trick for the talent show, Kacey divulged that "He's also really good at something else". Cue wolf whistles followed by Kacey pondering "What y'all hootin' for?" to big laughs. Turns out he was good at downing whiskey. I don't know what the rest of the audience were thinking...

Her knack for showpersonship, though relatively subtle, is really pretty remarkable and her and her band all look tremendously comfortable on stage. Some of the covers in the set perhaps illustrate this best. I don't know how I wound up forgetting about her ace cover of TLC's "No Scrubs", but her stage presence when revelling in a song with such sass and borderline pantomime was really something to see. Of course near the end of the set the LED cowgirl boots made an appearance for her cover of "These Boots Are Made For Walkin'", the song becoming near riotous approaching its conclusion thanks to a brilliantly intense performance from her band, with the guitars taking on a "Paint It Black" vibe to them.

Another thing Kacey shared was her appreciation for Mancunian and in general British crowds, especially for their attention to detail to lyrics. She certainly gave us a lot to mull over. The entirety of the chorus to "Die Fun" is just brilliant ("We can't do it over, they say it's now or never and all we're ever getting is older"), while "Fine", which she revealed as her Grandma's favourite, paints a great picture of longing for that special someone while they're away ("I've stopped counting sheep now I just count the days 'til you're back in this bed").

Of course, there were many occasions where attention to detail went out of the window and everyone just wanted a big sing along, and with material this catchy there was plenty to sing along to. Before the show began it seemed there were more men in the audience than the last time I saw Kacey which made me feel a tad less out of place. However, as soon as the opening song hit and I had a listen to the voices of those singing along I felt like I was at a Girl Scout's meeting! The audience sounded so loud I felt they could have done with turning the volume up on Kacey's mic. They evidently did, as her vocals didn't have to compete quite so hard with the audience's for the rest of the night.

What did yours truly enjoy singing along with the most? Gosh, practically half the set! "Biscuits" is one of those "why didn't anybody think of that earlier?" bits of genius with that golden line "Mind your own biscuits and life will be gravy". And of course plenty of songs from previous outing Same Trailer Different Park got outings, "Silver Lining" and "Step Off" being particularly nice to hear again. 

But for me the most infectious song in a set filled to the brim with infectious songs was "Dime Store Cowgirl". I know it doesn't make much sense for a man in his mid-twenties to be singing "Oh I'm just a dime store cowgirl" but frankly I don't give a hoot in hell. There's something joyous in that song's combination of surpassing the expectations of your detractors while staying in touch with what made you who you are that strips away your inhibitions. That title is such a clever play off Glenn Campbell's "Rhinestone Cowboy" that it's almost disappointing to hear it was an insult some housewife hurled at a young Kacey rather than something she came up with herself.

Closing with a cover of Roy Rogers' "Happy Trails" that not even an errant microphone could ruin, the prowess of the band's backing vocals really comes to the fore as they sing in the round along with Kacey. This always makes me appreciate in hindsight what great vocalists those guys are and what they added to songs like "It Is What It Is" and "Late To The Party".

Alas it's also a reminder that the end of the night is upon us and it was time for me to leave a very happy man having soaked in a great show filled with friendliness, great musicianship and plenty of other reasons why I adore country music. Having later played a sold out show at that other Albert Hall in London (with an attendance greater than her hometown of Golden, Texas), this tour has to be seen as nothing short of a success that will hopefully propel Kacey onto even further success.

In any event, happy trails to you, until we meet again...

Setlist

1. Pageant Material 
2. Biscuits 
3. Silver Lining 
4. This Town
5. Mama's Broken Heart 
6. No Scrubs
7. Fine/Are You Sure
8. Dime Store Cowgirl
9. Family Is Family
10. Stupid
11. It Is What It Is
12. Yellow  
13. Merry Go 'Round 
14. High Time
15. Step Off
16. Blowin' Smoke
17. Late To The Party
18. Die Fun
19. Follow Your Arrow 
20. These Boots Are Made for Walkin' 

 Encore:

  21. Happy Trails

1. 
   

Stick or Twist: ECW One Night Stand 2005

ECW One Night Stand 2005

June 12th 2005

Hammerstein Ballrom, New York City, New York

Attendance: 2,500

* Rampant ECW chants kick things off. Out comes Joey Styles. He looks like he's either trying really hard not to cry or trying really hard TO cry.

"Oh my God!" He introduces his colour commentator, Mick Foley! He's in Cactus Jack attire and comes out to Cactus' music. The ring is much more like an ECW ring with the glossy ropes and no fat, square WWE logo turnbuckles.

Match 1: Lance Storm (w/ Dawn Marie) vs "Lionheart" Chris Jericho

I think Dawn was pregnant when she did this show? Joey touts The Impact Players, Lance's team with Justin Credible, while Foley hints it could be Lance's last match - facing his opponent from his first match too.

Handshake and smooth technical wrestling to start. Both trade armdrags then stand off. Bow and arrow by Y2J as fans chant "She's a crack whore" at Dawn. Storm is first to resort to blows, then after escaping a whip to the corner he eats a sick bottom rope dropkick by Jericho. Baseball slide by Chris but he hits the barricade trying to leap onto Lance outside. Joey claims New York made them have mats and they wouldn't be there otherwise - yeah right! A great dropkick and big stalling suplex both get Storm near falls. RESTHOLD.

Y2J brawls out. Storm leaps to the top buckle from a whip only to jump back first into another Jericho dropkick! NYC: "Holy shit!" Joey: "I believe we have our first faecal chant of the evening." Running enzughiri by Jericho. Both men fight for a waistlock, trading near falls from victory rolls. TIGER SUPLEX by Y2J. 1, 2... no. Lance comes back with a leg lariat and teases a cradle piledriver but has to settle for a superkick for 2. Foley: "We're not going to see some of that Lance Storm emotion in slow motion, are we?" Top rope reverse elbow gets Jericho 2. He hits the ropes only for Storm to beautifully slide under and lock in the Calgary Crab!

Y2J rolls through and tries the Walls but Lance wisely grabs Chris' legs so he can't be rolled over. Jericho settles for a catapult to the buckle. Bulldog! Lionsault... Storm got the knees up but Y2J blocks and hooks the Walls of Jericho! Dawn distracts the ref and out come Justin Credible and Jason Knight (breaking Joey out in hives) whom Jericho springboard dropkicks off the apron. Reverse victory roll by Y2J but Lance kicks him off into a cane shot from the outside by Justin! 1, 2... 3!

Winner: Lance Storm

Verdict: 8/10. Lots to like here, both men were great technically and Jericho busted out some different stuff for his buddy. Great opener.

* The camera pans to an empty balcony soon to be filled with "anti-ECW crusaders" from Raw and Smackdown. Then the Pitbull Gary Wolfe introduces an "in memoriam" package of ECW alumni no longer with us. It's pretty sad how young some of these guys died. Mike "Crash Holly" Lockwood (didn't know he was in ECW) and Chris Candido especially.

Match 2: Three Way Dance - Tajiri (w/ Mikey Whipwreck & The Sinister Minister) vs Little Guido (w/ The Full Blooded Italians) vs Super Crazy

Fuck me the announcement of Guido and the FBI takes forever. Joey: "Earlier JT Smith came over and asked me if an innuendo was an Italian suppository." This is an elimination match unlike WWE triple threat matches.

Brawl to start. Tajiri tosses LG out only to suffer a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker by Crazy. Hand spring elbow by Tajiri! Guido counters his tilt-a-whirl into an armbar, which Crazy breaks up with a standing moonsault. Crazy counters sunset flip attempts by both men by just dropkicking them in the fucking face. He was going to dive out onto Tajiri but Tony Mamaluke tripped him up and Guido gets the Sicilian Slice. Everyone somehow winds up in the audience. Oh God, Crazy climbs the balcony... MOONSAULT OFF THE BALCONY TO THE FBI!!!

Joey: "¡OH DIOS MIO!" Massive ECW chants. Crazy gets in the ring to show everyone he's alive but gets caught in the TARANTOOLA! Crazy punches Tajiri in the corner and fans count along in Spanish - ace! The FBI drag Crazy balls first into the ring post - ouch! Big Guido tries a powerbomb/Doomsday Device combo with LG on Tajiri, but when he gets Tajiri up he spits the mist into LG's face! Then Sinister Minister hits a shit low blow and Tajiri kicks BG and Tracy Smothers. Super Whippersnapper by Mikey Whipwreck! 1, 2, 3! LITTLE GUIDO ELIMINATED

Great double springboard moonsault by Crazy gets 2. Tajiri counters a powerbomb with a DDT for another 2. Crazy tosses him down and tries the triple moonsaults but Mikey pushes him off on the last attempt. Buzzsaw kick ducked... then an awkward pause draws "You fucked up" chants before Crazy hits a powerbomb and the final moonsault for 3!

Winner: Super Crazy

Verdict: 7/10. A really fun match that served as a nice introduction to the newly signed Super Crazy. The other two guys did enough not to be considered passengers too.

* We then get a sizzle reel of classic ECW clips. Notable ones not seen in the Rise and Fall DVD include Mike Awesome nearly breaking JT Smith's back on a tope into the barricade, somebody getting hog tied and Terry Funk branding Cactus Jack.

Match 3: Psicosis vs Rey Mysterio

Psicosis comes out in his mask then unmasks as a show of respect apparently. Foley calls their '95 rivalry feud of the year, while according to Joey these guys have wrestled each other 500 plus times!

Psicosis makes hard work of flipping out of an arm wringer. Rey shows him how it's done before they convolutely get into a knuckelock that Psicosis again flubs arm dragging out of. Rey sunset flips out of another knucklelock for 2. NYC to Psicosis: "Put the mask on!" He rolls through a springboard crossbody to hit a nice spin out facebuster, then covers Rey after a hard whip to the corner(!) Springboard moonsault by Rey gets 2 but he winds up in a sleeper. The hold is heavily booed so Psicosis just uninspiringly tosses Rey about. He hangs Rey on the barricade then gets the Psycho Guillotine leg drop from the top! Cover back inside gets 2.

Psicosis tries a running dropkick in the corner but Rey ducks and hits an X-Factor style move for 2. Psicosis randomly posts himself while charging to the corner and theatrically bumps all the way to the front row. Seated senton from the top to the outside by Rey! Oh God, 619 back inside gets severely booed, before the West Coast Pop gets the 3.

Winner: Rey Mysterio

Verdict: 5/10. Really flat match barring a couple of spots. Psicosis wasn't on form tonight, flubbing lots of spots and not really doing anything to justify him getting signed by WWE.

* As Rey celebrates, the Smackdown crusaders arrive. Loads of people flip off JBL. Joey says it sucks that they're here hot doggin' and grand standin' when they already get global exposure through WWE - tonight should be ECW's night. Sign in the crowd: Cane Bischoff. NYC: "Fuck you Smackdown!" Foley: "I don't think we can repeat that chant, can we?" JBL to Rey: "I got a ticket you little Mexican!" He's the only one not wearing a Smackdown shirt incidentally. They cut to more ECW highlights including Dreamer cuffing Raven to the cage and Taz's title win.

*Weeelllll weeeelllll weeellllll, it's the quintessential stud muffin Joel Gertner. But before he can even finish a rhyme Kurt Angle nicks his mike, then JBL shoves him down hard and literally kicks his ass. NYC: "You suck dick" Angle: "Your mother taught me how!" ...Erm, what?! Angle calls ECW scum and morons and promises everyone will get their asses kicked. JBL points out Madison Square Garden is only a block away and claims to be able to sell it out unlike ECW. He goes off at online fans telling each other they're hardcore and picks on one guy in the crowd saying he just needs to cane himself and bleed to be ECW. NYC: "Shut the fuck up!" JBL: "Nobody in that ring will make it to my level."

* ROB VAN DAM is here with Bill Alfonso to a tremendous response. He still has a big brace on from his knee surgery. He says everyone's sick of JBL being forced down their throats when they want wrestling. He's got no script tonight, so relishes having a vocabulary and reminisces about being the "Whole Fucking Show". He pitched this show to Vince ("we don't even need a storyline" *pointed look to crusaders*). His knee injury means he can't wrestle tonight. It sucks worse than missing the Japan tour, Booker T's wedding and Wrestlemania!

*GORE! GORE! GORE! It's Rhyno!! He beats up RVD's injured leg but then the lights go out. IT'S SABU!!! I think we have an impromptu match...

Match 4: Rhyno vs Sabu

Belly to belly by Rhyno. He goes up top but Sabu hits a huge chair shot to send him over the top! Baseball slide and triple jump clothesline to the outside by Sabu. He just throws a chair at Rhyno, who luckily got his hands up. The Man Beast blocks a springboard and gets a running kick back inside for 2, then a front powerslam. He goes up top but gets cut off again... Frankensteiner by Sabu! Then a slingshot leg lariat gets 2. He leaps off a chair for Poetry in Motion and Rhyno's throat hits the chair. Legdrop off the chair gets 2.

Sabu tries to run up for the triple jump moonsault but Rhyno trips him face first into the chair. TKO into a chair! 1, 2, no. An alley oop into the turnbuckle sets Sabu up for the Gore, but he dodges and it hits the ref. Piledriver by Rhyno. Van Dam throws a chair at him! One man Van Terminator in the corner! Fonzy gets a table and tosses Sabu a chair while he's up top as Van Dam drapes Rhyno on the table... Arabian Skullcrusher through the table!! 1, 2...3.

Winner: Sabu

Verdict: 7.5/10. Wow, what a sprint that was. Sabu was really on his game tonight and didn't fluff anything, while Rhyno got hit stuff in too. This whole segment was gold really, with JBL being a great troll and RVD giving the promo of his life leading into this pretty neat match.

*Al Snow blames Head for inviting the "Smackdown assholes" to the show before introducing more classic ECW clips.

*Now the Raw guys have arrived. Joey on Edge: "I'm glad I didn't bring my wife today." Random smark to Eric Bischoff: "Fuck you and fuck WCW." Some other guy spat beer at him. 

Match 5: Chris Benoit vs Eddie Guerrero

JBL to Benoit: "You make money, you should be here [with the crusaders]!" Oh yeah, Eddie has his awesome heel Lie Cheat and Steal song. He looks a little off tonight though. He had only just turned heel about a month ago so he may just be trying to keep kayfabe.

Pair of lock ups go nowhere but Chris gets a couple of armdrags. Eddie accidentally gets thumbed in the eye when Benoit escapes his go behind and take a breather, teasing leaving. He brawls and gets a reverse elbow back inside. Benoit chops back but Eddie thumbs his eye and stomps his face. RESTHOLD. There's a cut on the bridge of Eddie's nose from the stray thumb. Benoit suplexes out only for Eddie to hit chops, forearms and ANOTHER RESTHOLD. Fans distract themselves chanting "Fuck you Bischoff". Benoit fights back with a shoulderblock, but when he tries another Eddie ducks and he falls through the ropes.

Eddie whacks Benoit in the back with a chair and hauls him up for a massive superplex. Froggy splash... missed. Chris brawls back, a Northern Lights Suplex and superplex of his own getting near falls. Triple Germans. Throat slash! Diving headbutt. 1, 2... no. Eddie rolls through another German attempt but inevitably winds up in the Crossface. It takes ages despite Eddie offering no resistance, but eventually he taps.

Winner: Chris Benoit

Verdict: 4/10. Guh, what the fuck was that? Again, maybe they were just trying to maintain Eddie's character (it wouldn't make sense for a despicable heel to be happy to be at a reunion show and to seek approval) but this match had so little substance it was unbelievable. A huge letdown.

* Joel tries coming out again, but when he spots Eric he just begs for a job. Obviously Bisch refuses, calling him a scab. He says these fans don't have the class to watch Raw because they're just garbage.

Match 6: Mike Awesome vs Masato Tanaka

Joey launches a huge tirade at Awesome for leaving for WCW. The Raw guys turn their back to him when he tells them to fuck off.

Trading chops to start before Mike hits a belly to belly. Tanaka hauls him on the apron but Awesome springs back in with a shoulderblock. Tope by Awesome! Joey: "Suicide dive by Mike Awesome, and it's a shame he didn't succeed in taking his own life!" Guess how Mike Awesome died, boys and girls? Tanaka backdrops him over the barricade then runs a chair right into his head! Foley: "Is it just me, or does Awesome lack the awesome force now he's without the 1980s haircut?" Clothesline by Mike who sets up a table. He gets on the apron and reaches into the ring to clothesline Tanaka. Running Awesome Bomb off the apron through the table!!

Back inside a huuuuuuge Aweseome Splash gets 2. Tanaka backdrops out of a powerbomb attempt but Mike hangs on and powerbombs him anyway. Both men get chairs, Awesome dodging Tanaka's shots then finally getting him down after three utterly vile headshots. Tanaka get right back up! He lures Awesome to the corner and scores a blockbuster cutter, then a Tornado DDT on a chair! 1, 2, no! He lays a chair on Mike's face and whacks another chair into it, then goes up top for an elbow drop with the chair! 1, 2... no! ECDUB! ECDUB!

Dangan elbow ducked... big release German by Awesome. Tanaka no sells only to eat a spear. Jesus Christ, top rope chair shot by Aweseome! He tries to bring a table inside but breaks its leg doing so and has to bring a fresh one in to ironic cheers. He gets Tanaka up top... Tanaka fights back... TOP ROPE DDT through the table!! 1... 2... NO! Joey thinks JBL has started to support Awesome because of the pay off he took from WCW. Aweseome cuts off Tanaka up top... TOP ROPE POWERBOMB ON THE BROKEN TABLE!!! 1... 2... NO!! That gets a huge standing ovation and ECDUB chants. Awesome sets up another table outside to "This match rules" chants. Awesome hauls Tanaka up at the second time of asking... Awesome Bomb over the top through the table outside!!! AWESOME SPRINGBOARDS OUT ONTO TANAKA!!! Cover outside - 1, 2... 3!!!

Post match a clearly concussed Awesome powerbombs the ref!

Winner: Mike Awesome
Verdict: 8.5/10. Holy shit what a violent match. Back and forth, brimming with action, both guys putting themselves through hell. A crazy match that was a great watch, even if some of the headshots might make you cringe.

* Look out, here comes Paul Heyman!!! Nearly the entire crowd does the "We're not worthy" arm waving to massive "Thank you Paul" chants. It clearly leaves him a bit teary, but he claims it was because he had a joint with RVD haha! He thanks Tod Gordon and Ron Buffone... and then decides to shoot on the crusaders! Hey Eric Bischoff, he's not at a WCW show with his tail between his legs is he? "You're in our house, Bitch!" Hide your wives, it's Edge. JBL: "Nobody here is married." Paul: "I have two words for you... MATT FREAKIN' HARDY!" Naturally the crusaders go crazy over that being three words and JBL starts pretending to write cheques that are bouncing - brilliant! So Paul addresses "Mr. Shoot Promo"... "The only reason you were WWE Champion for a year is because Triple H didn't want to work Tuesday!" That causes John to feign a heart attack and proclaim "At least I'll have Wrestlemania." Paul closes by reminding everyone where they are - "This is E C FUCKING W!" He kisses the fans goodbye and flips off the crusaders.

* The Dudleys are out for the main event. They do a pretty poor job of overdubbing their "Drop The Bombshell" theme. Both are in old school tie dye. They applaud Tommy Dreamer as he comes out. Joey: "People call Paul Heyman the brains of ECW, they call me the voice of ECW. Tommy Dreamer, always the heart, the soul, the guts of ECW." Naturally The Sandman's Metallica theme is overdubbed too. The guy JBL picked on earlier hits himself with Sandman's cane while he's in the crowd - ace! As he stands on the barricade one guy holds up his replica ECW title around his waist, aww. They drink beer from the breasts of blonde women. Sandman wanks his cane at the crusaders and JBL is furious.

Main Event: The Dudley Boyz (Bubba Ray & D-Von) vs The Sandman & Tommy Dreamer

Wait, before the match even starts out come the bWo!

Joey: "If any gimmick didn't deserve to make a dime and went out and made a butt load of cash, this is it!" Look at the Blue Meanie's muffin top! Foley: "I can only imagine what the uninitiated are thinking at this moment." Stevie says a true hardcore invasion needs the bWo. We're taking over! Stevie kick to Sandman! Kid Kash (Joey: "Mr TNA - Total Non-stop Attitude") is out but gets shitcanned before Balls Mahoney and Axl Rotten join the fray. They take out the bWo with jabs and chairshots. Everyone brawls outside. Foley: "There are some hideous looking human beings running around." Kash convinces the ref to help him do a triple jump heelo onto everyone outside!!! That gets rid of the interlopers as the Dudleys find some plunder and the bell FINALLY sounds. It's main event time!

Main Event: The Dudley Boyz (Bubba Ray & D-Von) vs The Sandman & Tommy Dreamer

Dreamer tries to use a cheesegrater(!) on Bubba but gets suplexed. Joey suddenly notices how big Bubba's arms are. Oh fuck Bubba rakes the cheesegrater over Tommy's head!! Naturally he misses his second rope senton though. Reverse 3D to Tommy! Sandman hits the Dudleys with a ladder. Dreamer drapes it on his shoulders for the Terry Funk/Benny Hill spot. Cheesegrater to Bubba! Sandman drop toeholds D-Von into a trash can. Dreamer hits Bubba with a baking tray only to get his balls driven into the barricade. Sandman drapes a ladder over D-Von and hits the Rolling Rock.

SICK chairshot to Sandman by Bubba. NYC: "Holy shit!" Sandman gets laid on the ladder and Bubba splashes him from the second rope for 2. Sandman avoids a cane double team and hits the White Russian Legsweep on D-Von. Tommy and Sandman hook simultaneous Figure Fours on The Dudleys! Joey: "I'll be damned, wrestling holds!" Credible and Storm are back out and Justin Tombstones Sandman on a barbed wire sphere! They hold Dreamer up and Francine kicks him in the balls. IT'S BEULAH! CAT FIGHT!!! She escapes a double team by the Impact Players and kicks Storm in the balls before Dreamer shitcans him. Beulah and Tommy hug then DDT the Dudleys, Bubba and Beulah mistiming theirs terribly. Joey: "I gotta teach my wife how to do that!"

Sandman and Tommy mock the "Wassup!!!" by whacking a chair into D-Von's ball with a road sign, before Bubba takes them out with cane shots and exclaims "Fuck this!" He're a table.  Double powerbomb on Sandman through the table! 1, 2... no! Dreamer in with cane shots, only to fall for the 3D! Bubba gets another table and out comes Little Spike Dudley. He's got lighter fluid! They douse the table in it and light it... POWERBOMB THROUGH THE FLAMING TABLE!!! 1, 2, 3!

Winners: The Dudley Boyz
Verdict: 6/10. Watchable garbage brawl with some fun cameos, although some of the spots with the cheesegrater were a bit grim.

* Post match the Dudleys try to attack Beulah but Sandman fights them off with his cane and pleads for a beer. What? A beer? What?

STONE COLD! STONE COLD! The crowd lose their shit. He says Sandman needs a whole case of beer, but he wants the ECW alumni to join too. The locker room comes out as the crusaders do not look amused. Before he serves the beer, he chastises the crusaders for running their mouths and challenges them to fight the ECW guys. The highlight of Austin cajoling them into a fight is him calling Angle a "gold medal son of a bitch". A threat to personally slap the piss out of them finally convinces them to come down. The ring is split in half, ECW one side, crusaders the other.

IT'S TAZ!! At some point JBL cheapshots the fuck out of the Blue Meanie and opens up his stitches from a match at a previous show. Taz and Angle pair off outside and everybody schmozes!  Angle gets Gored by Rhyno trying to rejoin the fight in ring and gets locked in the Tazmission! Snitsky somehow winds up through a table as ECW eventually clear the ring. Austin puts on JBL's cowboy hat haha. He spotted Bischoff snuck off to the commentary desk so he gets Foley to bring him to the ring. Sandman is still relentlessly gagging for a beer so Austin finally gives in.

3D to Bischoff! Headbutt from the top by Benoit. Austin: "Kill this sunnovabitch!" Oh jeez that's uncomfortable viewing. 619(BOOOO). Austin conducts a post match interview with Eric who defiantly yells "Fuck ECW!" So Austin has the Dudleys haul him up. Flip him the bird! Kick. Wham. Stunner. Good night. The Dudleys then haul Eric out of here and everyone toasts, Al Snow feeding Head some beer haha.

Final Thoughts: This was such a fun watch. Having never seen an ECW show at the time they were originally around I don't really hold much nostalgia for the company and this is basically a nostalgia show, but even without that this show stands up well and is really entertaining. The opener, the three way, Sabu vs Rhyno and Awesome vs Tanaka were all really good, the main event was fun with all the cameos and weapons. Guys like Sabu, Sandman and Super Crazy who I wasn't overly familiar with delivered, and WWE guys who'd soon be out of the door like Rhyno, the Dudleys and Tajiri were also great. The show was also littered with great verbal performances (Heyman excellent as always, RVD with a career high point promo, JBL trolling the fuck out of everyone).

TL,DR: Great talking, and fun wrestling from familiar and unfamiliar faces.

Final Verdict: STICK