Ladies And Gentlemen, My Name Is Paul Heyman: Review

Well, I've been bargain hunting again. I rarely buy WWE's compilation and profile DVDs nowadays as my viewing habits have changed and the sets got shorter and weaker. However, I'm a big fan of Paul Heyman. He's one of the most creative people in the industry, so I was determined to get his set Ladies And Gentlemen, My Name Is Paul Heyman.
The man himself spoke recently about how WWE underestimated demand for it, so I was lucky to grab myself the Blu Ray edition for a mere £12 in CEX (a total shock, it was priced as £18).
The extras are plentiful, but I'll mostly go through the documentary then share my favourites.

The sheer volume of talking heads who appear is incredible - ECW's Joey Styles, Rob Van Dam, Mick Foley and Ron Buffone. Edge, Brock Lesnar, Jim Ross, Dusty Rhodes, Big Show. Most remarkable of which for me were Raven (considering his "independent contractors" dispute with WWE), wrestling journalist Bill Apter and CM PUNK (his interviews were before his acrimonious split from WWE). Just goes to show how much sway he has.

Early Life

• Paul describes himself as the schmuck son of an attorney father and Holocaust survivor mother (holy shit). He became a wrestling fan by stumbling upon Vince McMahon interviewing Superstar Billy Graham, who "resonated through the television screen". From then on he wanted to see the secrets of that magic.

• At 13 he spent his Bah Mitzvah money on photo and printing gear to run a wrestling fanzine. He discovers Vince McMahon Sr.'s regular haunts from a gossip column in a New York paper, and at 14 hustled a press pass for Madison Square Garden shows!

• Tonnes of footage and shots of a young Paul E at ringside and meeting wrestlers. Bill Apter called him a pain in the ass who'd ruin cover shots haha! Legendary managers Classy Freddie Blassie, Captain Lou Albano and the Grand Wizard all took a shine to him.

• He'd do well at Jim Crockett Promotions shows too. He once saw a production meeting notice and snuck in to learn from booker Dusty Rhodes. Dusty spotted him and Paul does an ace impression ("Yo'w the keed from New York"), asking why he's there. After saying he's there to learn, there's a prolonged silence before Dream quips "You're learnin' from the right person!"

Foot in the door

• Having somehow used Gorgeous Jimmy Garvin to get into a Studio 54 charity event, Heyman discovers their lead photographer had just been fired, and convinces them to hire him! When rival club the Palladium raided S54's talent ("kinda like the Monday Night War"), a spot opened up on Friday night, so he promoted "Wrestle Party '85", getting Ric Flair, Dusty and Magnum T.A. to appear and featuring Bam Bam Bigelow's debut. What a stacked event.

• Bam Bam would needle Paul E into becoming a manager. After seeing a poster of the film Johnny Dangerously he joked he'd call himself Paul E. Dangerously - the rest is history. He'd convince promoters to book his first tag team (the Motor City Mad Men) by offering to advertise their shows in his wrestling magazines in return. Pretty smart.

• He'd then move to Memphis (via Florida), where we see him talking of a guy called Giant Humongous, I shit you not! Jerry Lawler mentions he didn't get on with anyone, so he put him with their top heels Austin Idol and Tommy Rich. Clearly Lawler disliked Heyman too, but still put their feud over and said he knew Heyman had a future.

• We then see Paul in the AWA, so talk turns to the CELLPHONE! He saw Wall Street and thought it had foreign object potential, and also talks the exposure he got on AWA's TV shows, often doing two interviews on each episode of their DAILY ESPN show. 

JCP/WCW

• When Arn Anderson and Tully Blanchard went to the WWF, a spot opened up in JCP's tag team ranks, so they bring Paul E in with the Original Midnight Express to feud with Jim Cornette's Midnight Express. Excellent clips here - "1989 is gonna be the year of livin' dangerously".

• Jim Ross took Paul on as a commentator to take him off creative's hands, calling him a bright, difficult student picking holes in the stories with his "I wanna slap you" presentation skills. Paul learned more about the performance from JR in the booth than from anywhere else and it made him a better manager. He winds up suspended as a commentator too.

• Rick Rude's arrival proved a saving grace, as they formed the ace Dangerous Alliance faction around him with Paul as manager, along with Larry Zybysko, Arn and Bobby Eaton. At Paul's behest, "Stunning" Steve Austin (yes THAT Steve Austin) was included too. Excellent promo of him introducing the group, "it's not a line up, or a stable, or a family". Paul calls it a "star making moment" that enhanced his reputation enough for him to start ECW. 

• He was fired eventually though. He sued and got lots of money dependent on both sides keeping hush so can't talk circumstances.

ECW

• Emotionally spent after WCW, Paul would have gone into radio but wound up in Eastern Championship Wrestling to help friend Eddie Gilbert with his young talent. ECW owner Todd Gordon only expected Heyman to be there for a few shows, but when he fired Gilbert he chose Paul to book the territory. Gordon praises Paul's eye for talent going through tapes, while ex-ECW writer Gabe Sapolsky points out how he transformed Taz and Tommy Dreamer.

• Ace promo from Paul about the state of wrestling at the time (and clips of WWF's crap gimmicks back then), denouncing people running to the circus with the clowns. This leads to ECW's rated R revolution: barbed wire, piledriving women, balcony dives, twisted camera angles and hip hop. Compared to the cartoon wrestling of the day, Gordon said "there was no question it was real".

• Really interesting section on WWF's support of ECW next (naturally, it's a WWE DVD). Director Ron Buffone knew Paul worked with the WWF because Vince would periodically call the office! JR basically admits they wanted ECW's talent, but in the long term, rather than just flat out sign everyone like WCW.

• Paul admits meeting Vince in 1996. Vince wanted to send Brakkus, Al Snow and Droz to ECW on the WWF payroll to get seasoned. In return he wanted Terry Gordy, Doug Furnas, Phil Lafon and 2 Cold Scorpio. Paul had an issue with Scorpio leaving as they were effectively sponsored by a record company to have him wrestle, so Vince paid what they'd lose in sponsorship as compensation. Paul is adamant the money went direct to ECW and he was NOT on WWF's payroll, saying he NEVER paid himself in ECW(!).

• More clips of mid-90s Paul ("if you want to stay, you stay") motivating talent. Gordon tells a funny story of Paul booking a show on the back of a napkin based off who he could see in the locker room. Ace! Dreamer and Buffone also SWEAR that when asleep in the editing room one time he WOKE UP when a mistake came up!

Money Trouble

• ECW's expansion was quick and costly. Paul: "We had no credit at all!". Dreamer calls ECW "a Ma & Pop's deli that became Subway". Initially Paul's stocks and WCW settlement kept him going, but eventually his parents invested in ECW. The likes the Dudleys and Taz had office duties. Rob Van Dam mentions how most of them flew on discounted bereavement fairs - "Paul got us to do so much for so little". Buffone even says Paul's mum used to work in merchandise but then he fired her - and hilariously realises how that sounds!!!

• Styles mentions how important Gordon was, because when Paul was in charge of money he spent them into a hole getting his angles over - although that creativity kept attendance and merchandise up. Their money issues were extraordinary. Dreamer would get paid with the merch money when his cheques bounced. He'd mention to Paul "there's like $22 grand here" so Paul would want some, but Tommy was like "but you owe me $65 grand!" - holy shit!

• Paul's pretty compelling defending himself - "you have to play with the cards you had, and sometimes when you've got no cards you have to bluff". It was all about keeping going day to day. He again stresses he wasn't getting paid either. "I have more to lose than you do. You can leave, I can't!" Dreamer also defends him saying it was people's prerogative to stay: "You probably weren't going to be much without him anyway" - right, not as if Mike Awesome, Lance Storm, Chris Candido, Rhyno, Raven and Spike Dudley went on to make more elsewhere or anything...

• In the dying days. Styles says Paul just wouldn't turn up and Dreamer would book the shows instead! Jesus! Ticket sales were hot and they had DVDs (first wrestling company doing them) and video games doing well but they couldn't get on TV after TNN ditched them for WWF Raw: USA only wanted the number one brand, Turner wanted out of wrestling completely, and Fox couldn't offer a financially viable slot. When the Pay Per View companies put them in a quagmire, making them commit to more shows without paying out for previous ones, the writing was on the wall.

WWF/E

• So Paul starts in WWF as colour commentator, but only signs a contract two months after debuting due to filing for ECW's bankruptcy. I loved how he came out with a modern cellphone on his lapel! Stephanie McMahon said he did everything Vince hated on commentary. JR more diplomatically calls him "challenging". Paul: "I needled JR... I intentionally made JR uncomfortable."

• Talk turns to BRRRROCK LESSSSNAAAAAAR. Tazz spotted him but told Paul he'd been given "the worst advice imaginable". So after Paul gave him some different advice and Vince liked the results he paired them up permanently. Brock says Heyman smartened him up and put him in the right direction.

• When Raw and Smackdown were split into different brands, the writing teams were split too and Paul became the lead writer of Smackdown. Paul calls it a tough gig and "the bitch show" (hilariously assuming that wouldn't make the edit), but he made a success of it, thrusting new guys into the main event (the Smackdown Six) without sacrificing the box office value of Undertaker, Brock or Hulk Hogan. We even see a graphic of Smackdown beating Raw in the ratings. Not many people liked that...

The infamous Smackdown Six: Benoit, Angle, Edge, Mysterio, Eddie & Chavo

• Big Show is hilarious mentioning Paul arguing with Vince, saying he was like an idiot poking a bear at the zoo ("This is fun!"). Paul says he wasn't corporately mature enough to deal with Smackdown's success, and Steph mentions how he'd beat ideas into the ground and suspended him without pay (a first on her watch). However, Paul had a five year contract, so they couldn't fire him...

• ...Instead he went to developmental territory Ohio Valley Wrestling. Dreamer thought they were putting him out to pasture, but Paul called it a great gift because he loves developing talent. Beth Phoenix and CM Punk praise his work with them. Paul on Punk: "I was learning from him before I was done teaching him". He was still rubbing people the wrong way though.

ECW's resurrection/WWECW

• Shane McMahon was a big proponent of both Paul and ECW (while everyone else hated him), and they wind up doing ECW tribute show One Night Stand in 2005, which was a great success. Heyman says if they'd have finished there it would have been awesome. He also reveals Shane legitimately tried to buy ECW in 2000.

• Back to 2005, Shane lobbies to bring ECW back as a web series tying together the original ECW and a developmental territory. But as the concept grew, they shopped the show out to TV stations, and once Sci Fi and Pay Per View companies became interested in the brand, the obvious occurred.

• Styles says WWE's ECW FLAT OUT SUCKED - it'd have been fine had it been called something else. Again, Show is really funny comparing Paul to the wounded guy in Monty Python and the Holy Grail. Dreamer compared it to a father seeing his child raised by a step-father, while Steph mentions near the end it was hard to trust Paul, getting in talent's ears etc. Paul bemoans having to "compete" with Vince when he owned the company, and recounts their falling out - if we could have seen it, we'd have NEVER expected him back...

Exile & Return

• When he left WWE, he tried to buy MMA promotion Strikeforce(!) because Brock was there. He also started the "Heyman Hustle" web series, which lead to him opening his production company "Looking 4 Larry". We see Paul enter the offices and ask the receptionist "Are we still in business today?" - classic! They even did the WWE 2K14 ad with the Ultimate Warrior! Appropriately enough, Paul praises his cellphones for helping him run the place on the road.

• He also raised his two kids, with everyone mentioning how they changed Paul for the better. Heyman calls them his salvation and says they'll be more extraordinary that he'll ever be.

• He still kept in touch with Brock, through his UFC days, retirement and return to WWE, but thought there was too much baggage for him to come back too... until he was asked to return and be with Brock! Punk, Dreamer and JR all mention his value. Paul says the five and a half year break improved him as a performer and he loves talking to the talent, with Natalya, Renee Young and (an out of character!) Bray Wyatt all speaking highly of him. We get clips of the awesome "volcano" promo he did on Raw. THE MOLTEN LAAAVA!!! How everyone kept a straight face through that I don't know.

• Heyman then has a choice quote talking about how he loves learning by teaching younger talent. EVERYONE in WWE creative should have this pinned to their desks:

"Experience is the greatest inhibitor of creativity... because you learn from experience what NOT to do. But it's the unbridled passion and fearlessness to just go into something with reckless abandon that allows you to create something from nothing."

• The documentary then closes with more praise from Foley ("he's ahead of the curve"), Styles ("the greatest manager of all time"), Buffone ("he was born for wrestling") and Apter ("he still has that glow for the business"). Paul finishes up by saying he's had the time of his life but that his children will be the measure of him.

Extras Highlights

• The Dangerous Alliance formation, "year of livin' dangerously" and the "Volcano" segments are included in full and are all highlights.

• Good stuff from his AWA days too, treating the interviewer like garbage and also his interview segment "The Danger Zone" with special guest "Ted E. Bear" who is literally a teddy bear! Only Paul could make stuff like that work.

• Naturally there aren't many matches, but there is a decent MNE vs Original MNE match. Also the handicap elimination match where Paul and Curtis Axel faced CM Punk is worth it just to see Paul's reaction when he realises Punk has him on his own.

• There's some really insightful stories that didn't make the documentary, including Paul talking of Freddie Blassie mistaking people's complaints about his driving for heat, Todd Gordon defending the phone call that resulted in his ECW exit, Steph and Paul recalling Paul listening in on Raw conference call (and getting busted), and some good Blu Ray exclusives too, like JR talking about riding with Paul and Joey Styles explaining how Paul NO SHOWED at his wedding even though he was Joey's GROOMSMAN!!!

• Also exclusive to Blu Ray is Heyman's post Wrestlemania XXX promo bragging about Brock breaking the Undertaker's streak, but for my money the best promo on here is the Smackdown before Survivor Series 2001, where he confronted Vince McMahon.

Verdict

Overall, this is an essential set for a hardcore fan. Even if you've seen excellent documentary The Rise And Fall Of ECW there's still tonnes of worthwhile stuff and facts that come up from this set (Paul going into more specifics about their financial relationship with WWF, Todd Gordon, Gabe Sapolsky and Raven as talking heads) and I was fascinated hearing Paul talk of his early life and where his gift of the gab took him. Far less revisionist history than most WWE docs nowadays too (although take some of what Styles, Dreamer and Paul say with a grain of salt when they are on the defence).
If you can find it for the right price like I did I'd definitely go for the Blu Ray version, as lots of the exclusive stories from from the talking heads are really worthwhile.
Must own.

Stick or Twist: WWF Fully Loaded 2000

WWF Fully Loaded 2000

July 23rd 2000, Reunion Arena, Dallas, Texas

Attendance: 16,504

Again, being the Tagged Classics version, there's no scratch logo/WWF censoring which is an absolute God send. This was the first staging I can remember when the video screens changed depending on the match. It wasn't a concept that would be utilised fully until Wrestlemania the next year, but it was interesting to see.

*The opening VT is all gambling based, which I found a bit random. I didn't realise Fully Loaded was a gambling term?

*T&A come out with Trish for the opening match and my goodness Trish is smoking hot here.

We get a video package of the Trish-Lita feud, including Lita's shit attempt at Matt's legdrop & Trish putting her through a table then whipping her. Lita is still selling her ribs.

Match 1: Six Person Tag Team Match - T&A (Test & Albert) & Trish Stratus vs Team Xtreme (Matt & Jeff Hardy & Lita)

Brawl to start as Matt & Albert pair off, botching the lucha/test of strength stuff. Matt tries to land on the apron after being backdropped in the corner but falls outside. Test tags in but eats a legdrop. Tag to Jeff, but Test sits up at the wrong time during a Hardy double team, so Jeff's senton nearly missed & Matt fistdropped canvas. King on Jeff's hair: "He looks like a box of Lucky Charms". Better than Fruity Pebbles I guess.  MASSIVE sidewalk slam by Test. A plancha by Jeff halts a small WE WANT PUPPIES chant. There's a big Lita chant, as Test DECAPITATES a freshly tagged Matt. 

TAG TO TRISH! Test holds Matt so she can slap him, but he ducks and rolls up Trish (lucky bugger) only for Test to break it up & DDT him. Trish misses an elbow, and Lita gets the tag, but Trish tags Albert (uh-oh). They play cat & mouse before the Hardys jump in. POETRY IN MOTION! Double suplex to Albert, then a TRIPLE suplex to Trish & Test. Team Xtreme strip. King proposes he takes his shirt off too. JR: "Please don't".

Albert gorilla presses Jeff all the way out to the floor! Then his awesome butterfly suplex gets 2. T&A double backdrop Jeff, who bumps like it's a gorilla press and nearly dies. Big full nelson slam by Test followed by a RESTHOLD. Jeff's Frankensteiner is blocked into a powerbomb, but Test misses the top rop elbow. Mule kick! Tag to Matt! Clothesline & second rope bulldog by Matt, only for Test to pump handle slam him. Jeff Swanton's Test as he covers Matt. Albert interrupts but his powerslam is countered to a DDT.

TAG TO LITA! TORNADO DDT TO TEST! His bumping for that was ridiculous. Crossbody to Albert on the outside, then the Lita-canrana on Test for 2! The crowd actually bought that near fall. Albert cheap shots Lita's bruise, then Test hits a VICIOUS Doctor bomb and tags Trish, who covers for 2. Bulldog by Trish gets 2 as the crowd want puppies. Trish looks super indecisive in the ring. She gets hung up on top and SUPERPLEXED. Albert breaks up the fall, leading to the Hardys and T&A brawling & Lita getting the Moonsault for 3 and a big pop! 

Winners: Team Xtreme

*Post match, Albert Pearl Harbour's Lita! T&A then batter the Hardys to ASSHOLE chants & Trish whips Lita "like a Government mule" once again.

Verdict:7.5/10. Really high energy opener, there were lots of botches at the start but things picked up when they teased the women getting involved. T&A well very underutilised and the crazy-bumping Hardys were a good match for them, while Lita and (an albeit nervous) Trish upped the standard of spots you expect from women in the WWF.

*Backstage, Edge finds Commissioner Foley & says Christian has food poisoning. He slaps Edge on the arm ("You been training delts?") and doesn't buy it, saying he has "fraidy-cat-itus".

*The Undertaker arrives on his motorcycle! He finds Kurt Angle who promptly shits himself. Taker spits tobacco & gives chase. He drives all the way into the locker room! Kurt eventually gives him the slip.

Match 2: Tazz vs Al Snow

Recap of Tazz's random attacks on Kane, Rikishi & 2 Cool, as commentary get over how you never know who's next & how unstable Tazz is. As you'd expect. It's Tazz.

Snow looks very angry (must have been told to give a promo after twenty squat thrusts) and attacks from the bell with a Russian Leg Sweep. They brawl outside. Snow blocks a T-Bone attempt & superkicks Tazz. Belly-to-belly powerbomb gets 2. Snow tries to spring out of the corner but gets Alabama Slammed. JR says Al is a 17 year veteran (already!?) and he comes back with a BIG top rope leg drop and a less impressive Moonsault, drawing a two count and BORING chants. SNOW'S GOT HEAD! But Tazz chop blocks him. Tazz grounds him with crossfaces but Snow comes back with his trapping headbutts. A kick gets blocked into a cradle Tazzplex. Snow rolls through a Tazzmission attempt, but Tazz gets it eventually after a standing switch. Snow taps.

Winner: Tazz

Verdict: 5/10. Inoffensive lower card filler. Al probably got a bit too much offence but Tazz still got the advantage by suplexing and being nasty, which is the best way to get him over.

*Backstage, Christian is apparently barfing in the loo. The Doctor checks him over as Christian says they're the fighting-est champions of all time. After not a very thorough check (just a torch to the eyes) the doctor concludes he can't compete. Mick taps Christian on the back, prompting more puking.

*HHH & Steph are in their locker room. She's getting loads of flowers & Trips is pissed as they're not from him. Steph: "You mean they aren't from you?" Hunter: "I... was... gonna get you flowers, but..." BUSTED. HHH looks for a card, and finds one saying "Best of luck... It's true, it's true", so they suspect Kurt Angle.

Match 3: WWF Europena Championship Match - Eddie Guerrero (C) (w/ Chyna) vs Perry Saturn (w/ Terri)

Eddie & Chyna have a little tiff on the way to the ring... shoot? Naw, commentary put over the vile mood she's in after getting slapped by Terri on Smackdown. Saturn has the siren entrance and Terri's hiding behind him.

Eddie tries to stop Chyna going after her, but he gets shoved off & she knocks down Saturn. Saturn returns the favour & Eddie gives chase, bringing him to the ring to Eddie chants. Beautiful heelo by Eddie followed by his naff reverse elbow. Saturn rolls to the outside but gets Chyna-lined (which he Rikishi bumps for). Chyna looks happier now, as Eddie hits an ace top rope Frankensteiner. He throws him out to Chyna again, who whips him to the stairs. Big crossbody to the outside from Eddie. King's just realised Saturn's from Boston. "I thought he was from Mars or somewhere... or Saturn!"

Another Frankensteiner by Eddie gets 2, but he goes to the well too often and his next attempt is blocked into a powerbomb. Big tornado DDT by Eddie gives Perry a hardway on his big bald head. A flapjack and face first body press by Saturn gets 2. He tries another but gets hurracanranaed (again!), only to block the next attempt with another powerbomb. After taking AAAGES Perry rightfully misses his Moonsault. Brainbuster by Eddie, but he has to roll out of his froggy splash attempt as Saturn moved. A reverse nelson roll up gives Saturn a two count, which he celebrates by doing the Randy Orton "O" pose with his arms. He tries going up top but gets dropkicked outside.

Chyna tries to attack but she gets clotheslined onto the Spanish announce table, which breaks! (more on that later) This means Terri's safe to come back out, so Perry promptly hides behind her before she kicks Eddie in the cojones. Top rope elbow to the back by Saturn get the three! New champion!

Winner: Perry Saturn (New WWF European Champion, 1st reign)

Verdict: 7/10. Much better than the Judgement Day European Title match, I really liked the start, and while the middle got a bit samey with all the Frankensteiners, I appreciated the story where being confident enough to repeat your manoeuvres cost you.

*Edge & Christian are packing their bags, gloating about how gullible Foley was. Edge: "Food poisoning rules!" *high five*. Foley walks in, prompting dry heaving by Christian. Edge: "I think YOU make him sick." Christian: "Mick, don't look, I'm totally barfing in here!" Foley looks in the toilet cubicle & implausibly we see Christian is just cupping some disgusting looking mixture into the loo (where was the camera!? Kayfabe shattering here!). BUSTED! Mick: "You get an A for effort." They have to defend the titles after all.

*Taker is interviewed by Michael Cole, who says Angle will need a doctor to remove his foot from his arse. He then sees Angle on a monitor playing with his bike. Taker goes on the hunt. "YOU WANNA PLAY BOY! C'MERE YOU LITTLE BITCH!"

*Edge & Christian come out to the ring now, looking pretty happy despite being forced to defend the titles. Edge says Christian really is sick... of being in Dallas! They diss Dallas sports teams then make a tasteless JFK joke to ASSHOLE chants. Before those with flash photography could benefit, out come the APA. Bradshaw gives a passionate promo defending Dallas & gives out about E&C's cheap heat tactics... only to then give the biggest cheap heat face promo you'll see, name dropping Murdoch and the Von Erichs. He says parents everywhere will be able to tell their kids about the APA making E&C their personal bitches.

Match 4: WWF Tag Team Championship Match - Edge & Christian (C) vs APA (Farooq & Bradshaw)

Brawl on the outside as Farooq clobbers E&C with the steps. Poetry in motion is blocked by Bradshaw into a SUPER fallaway slam. Double shoulderblock gets 2. JR apologises for a third time about the JFK comments. Wicked powerbomb by Bradshaw, but a second attempt is countered by a dropkick from Christian. USA chants. E&C isolate Bradshaw, as Edge gets a neckbreaker for 2. A double superplex attempt is blocked by Bradshaw, who shoulderblocks Edge from the top.

Tag to Farooq! POWERSLAM! SPINEBUSTER! That gets 2. Christian eats the CLOTHESLINE FROM HELL! Edge knocks Bradshaw into the time keeper & grabs a tag belt. Dominator by Farooq on Christian but Edge whacks him with the belt for the DQ.

Winners: APA (by DQ, Edge & Christian retain the titles)

Verdict: 4/10. Nothing match. APA hit decent moves, E&C get cheap heat, we get a good hot tag then a BS finish. I guess it made sense story-wise, but seriously, fuck that finish!

*At WWF New York (remember that deal?), Boss Man asks a guy drinking at the bar for his ID, tells him not to step out of line and then sips some of his beer. What a cunt.

*HHH is still pissed about "Kurt" sending Steph flowers before his Last Man Standing match. Steph points out they don't say they're from Kurt but Trips cites the catchphrase, so it's obviously him. Steph says he should sort it (or abort it).

*...but Kurt's got his hands full with Taker. It looks like he's cornered, but he slips out back & whack's Taker's knee with a pipe wrench!

Match 5: Steel Cage Match for the WWF Intercontinental Championship: Val Venis (C) (w/ Trish Stratus) vs Rikishi

Victory is by pin, submission or escaping the cage. They replay Val winning the title from 'Kish thanks to Tazz's camera shot. Then they show Val tossing Scotty 2 Hotty off... the stage on Raw last week. Val has short hair & the club remix of his sex-jazz music. King questions how 'Kish will escape the cage with an arse that big. JR think's he'll want to win by pinfall.

Val tries to escape immediately but gets jerked off... the ropes. 'Kish rams Val into all sides of the cage & tries escaping. Val climbs next to him but gets knocked off. He heads for the door but 'Kish cuts him off. Val chop blocks Rikishi when he tries to go for the door himself. When Val throws 'Kish into the cage, he throws him into the brackets. Damn. He beats on 'Kish in the corner, but it's countered and they tease the Stinkface, only for Val to low blow him & botch a second rope bulldog. Big clothesline by Val yields a Rikishi bump and a two count.

Both men climb again, but this time Val knocks 'Kish off and hits a rope walk elbow drop for 2. JR thought he should have climbed. King doesn't mind because he gets to see Trish count along with the ref. NOW Val climbs, but Rikishi catches him while he's half dangling out. Both men whack each other into the cage (busting Val open), leading to both men getting crotched on the top rope. Val then cuts 'Kish off at the door. Val: "Close that damn door!" Rikishi then sidesteps a head of steam to send him to the cage. Samoan Drop (and he's actually Samoan!)! Butt bump! Bonsai Drop... but Val's foot's on the ropes (rope break in a cage match?).

'Kish heads for the door, but Trish slams it in his face! Neckbreaker by Val, followed by the Money Shot! 1, 2, ...Rikishi kicks out! LITA IS OUT HERE! SHE'S WHIPPING TRISH! The crowd loves it. Both men climb again, but 'Kish knocks Val off into the ref. He reaches the top of the cage... but sees Val inside. He shimmies along the top... SUPERFLY SPLASH OFF THE CAGE TO VAL!!!! That has to be seen to be believed.

Massive Rikishi chants. Val is dead.'Kish crawls to the door, but that damned Tazz is out & whacks him with a camera to massive heat. JR calls Tazz garbage as Val covers for 3.

Winner: Val Venis (still Intercontinental Champion)

Verdict: 7/10. Good stuff al round here. Lots of escape attempts to get over the stipulation.  No doubt though, the big moment in this match was Rikishi's splash at the end, which was amazing and showed the lengths he'd go to to get the title.

*We see Taker backstage, who rubs the number off the "__ of days without incident" sign. Excellent!

*HHH looks for Kurt, but finds Harvey Whippleman(!) with more flowers, and demands to be taken to him. He gets shown to a room expecting Kurt, but gets twatted behind the closed door, which then opens to reveal Jericho! MIND GAMES!

*Shane McMahon comes out wearing Rock's "Just Bring It!" T-shirt, so King thinks that's Shane's catchphrase! We get SHANE'S A PUSSY chants, but Shane says he's out here to prove that's not true, by calling out The Rock! He says it wouldn't be for the title, as Benoit will win that tonight. He hopes Rock has no excuses like all these typical Texans! He does his jiving & says "Just Bring It!"

*Out comes Rock, who's looking for Benoit, expecting a sneak attack. He says 20,000 Rock fans can't be wrong & Shane IS a pussy, then speculates on Benoit's whereabouts: under the ring? In the rafters? Up Shane's candy ass? IT DOESN'T MATTER because The Rock wants to fight now.

*We see Benoit backstage, saying Rock shouldn't worry about being DQed (meaning he'd lose the title in a special stipulation) because Benoit will tap him out or pin him. He then pulls apart Rock's "GQ clothing", as we find he's trashing Rock's locker room. Rock gives chase.

*We get a video package for the first of our TRIPLE MAIN EVENTS, Angle vs Taker, including Kurt inadvertently ruining Taker's bike with milk backstage. Note, Kurt is King of the Ring, and as such was SUPPOSED to have had a title match at this event, but there's no explanation as to how that didn't happen during this show.

Match 6: Kurt Angle vs The Undertaker

Kurt comes out still holding the wrench and is scared of his own pyro. Nice! Taker comes out while Kurt's music is still playing (saves having to pay Kid Rock too) and Pearl Harbour's Angle! He beats him up 'round ringside. Big boot. Big elbow. Taker covers but pulls Angle up before 3. BIIIG stalling vertical suplex by Taker but again he pulls Angle up before 3. Angle comes back with a sleeper but gets squashed in the corner. Corner clothesline & sidewalk slam get 2. Angle's thrown outside, but attacks with the wrench when the ref's not looking!

He works over the leg with pick ups & grapevines, but Taker legdrops out. Slugfest, and Angle wins(?) and works Taker's leg more after blocking a chokeslam. Taker rolls through a leglock and gets some body shots. Chokeslam! The ref asks him to cover but Taker says he ain't done. Last Ride! 1, 2, ...3!

Winner: The Undertaker

Verdict: 3/10. Far too one sided, Angle's offence was less than spectacular. Way to squash your King of the Ring.

*We see Rock return to his locker room looking pissed.

*Video package for Jericho vs HHH, featuring Y2J kissing Steph at King of the Ring & HHH repeatedly saying "I want Jericho's ass". Wit-woo! Jericho has taped ribs after a sledgehammer attack.

Match 7: Last Man Standing Match - Triple H (w/ WWF Women's Champion Stephanie McMahon Helmsley) vs Chris Jericho

You win when your opponent can't answer a ten count. There's no DQ or pinfalls. This is still only the second Last Man Standing match, blimey!

Brawl to start. Jericho gets momentum with clotheslines and dropkicks. They brawl with the broken Spanish announce table. Back in the ring Jericho gets a top rope reverse elbow. The Game turns the tide with the face breaker as they go back outside. Hot shot onto the barricade as a "Stephanie swallows"(?) chant breaks out. HHH zones in on the ribs & rips off Y2J's tape. King says that's lucky because if they're on for too long they'll cause a rash. Shoulders in the corner. Wow, Mike Chioda looks young. No attempts at counts yet which I like. HHH chokes Jericho with the tape, drawing Y2J chants. King: "How'd you like someone to call your wife a trash bag ho?" JR: " How'd you like someone to call ALL YOUR wives that?" King: "All my wives? I'm not married..." JR: "That's my point!"

Back outside, Steph slaps Y2J and we get out first count. Y2J back up at 5 & back in the ring. Abdominal stretches by Trips. The ref forces the break  because he was using the ropes (WHY? NO DQ!) before Jericho hip tosses out of it. Hunter rightly give the ref shit for that & we get the HEBNER SHOVING SPOT. Spin wheel kick by Jericho! Lionsault... which HHH gets the knees up to. DDT by HHH as a count begins. King bemoans the slow count. JR speculates it's retaliation for the shoving match earlier. Sleeper by HHH with the body scissors. The arm drops three times, but Jericho is up at 9 for the all important ten count. JR implores Jericho to stay down, but he just talks smack to HHH, asking for more. JR puts over how tough Jericho is. Y2J says suck it! PEDIGREE! Hunter looks pissed. The count is on as The Game "lazy boy"s in the corner. 7... 8... 9... he's up to the ropes & HHH is FURIOUS.

He bring in a chair & batters Y2J's ribs with it. Pedigree on the chair... is countered with a bollock shot! Chair to the head of HHH! (BLADE BLADE BLADE!!!) Jericho is selling fatigue brilliantly. HHH is up at 7 & Y2J zones in on the wound. Second rope dropkick! Bulldog on the chair! The count is on but Y2J is still attacking. He whips HHH over the top but gets whipped to the steps. Pedigree on the steps... countered with a backdrop. HHH desperately strips the announce table. Both men get monitors & knock each other down with them simultaneously. Great call back to the first LMS, which JR points out. 8... 9...  BOTH men are up! Back in the ring... Pedigree... no, countered with the Walls!

HHH is tapping but Y2J won't let go. HHH gets to the rope but NOW the ref refuses to call a break. Y2J pulls him back to the centre before Steph grabs him by the hair. Slap blocked... WALLS OF JERICHO ON STEPHANIE!!! HHH breaks it up & we head back near the announce table. The Game's got the sledgehammer. He swings & misses (but hits the post, drawing a great sound effect). Catapult to the post by Jericho! He hits Hunter in the ribs with the sledgehammer. 

He tries to Lionsault HHH through the table but gets low blowed. Both men are on the timekeeper's desk now... BACK SUPLEX THROUGH THE ANNOUNCE TABLE!!! THE COUNT IS ON! Both men are devastated. JR: "Bah Gawd count faster and put them out of their misery." 7... 8... HHH stirring... 9... 10 - TRIPLE H IS UP! TRIPLE H WINS! But immediately collapses again in an excellent bit of selling.

Winner: Triple H

Verdict: 9/10. Ace match, the best they've had together. Jericho looked damn tough out of this, with the former WWF champion only beating him by the narrowest margin. HHH was just ON at this point and could deliver the goods whenever asked. The finish was meant to be from the English to the Spanish announce tables, not from the timekeeper's desk to the announce table, but Chyna broke the Spanish one so they had to improvise. It was till an excellent, narrow finish.

* The video package for the WWF title match makes no attempt to explain how Benoit became the number one contender over KotR winner Angle. It shows Rock fetching Benoit from the locker room & twatting him good & proper, prompting Commissioner Foley to add the stipulation that Rock could lose the title on a DQ, to try and motivate him to win properly.

Main Event: World Wrestling Federation Championship Match - The Rock (C) vs Chris Benoit (w/ Shane McMahon)

Benoit comes to the ring in one of Rock's shirts that he's just ripped up. JR puts over that Rock has already lost the title by DQ at Judgement Day. Shane tries to jump Rock after his entrance, but Rock spots it, only for Benoit to then jump him & we're under way!

Elbow by Rock after an early crossface attempt. Big Rocky chants. He chases Shane around and inside the ring, clotheslines Benoit, then chases Shane again in one fell swoop. Inverted atomic drop by Rock, followed by a catapult into Shane (who was originally on the wrong apron, which made things look contrived). ROCK goes for the crossface but Benoit scrambles away. Benoit gets the advantage with a knee to the gut & starts working the mid section (just like the LMS match, dammit D'Lo!). Chants of SHANE'S A PUSSY & BENOIT SUCKS. Another knee lift gets 2.

Rock hangs Benoit on the top rope & punts his chest. King: "An XFL punt!" *sigh*. Benoit jumps up top in one swift move ala RVD, but gets crotched and back superplexed for his troubles. Both men beat the count and Shane distracts the ref, allowing Benoit to hit Rock with the belt! 1, 2, ...NO! He cuts Rock off some more with suplexes. Sharpshooter on The Rock. He crawls to the ropes... and gets there! Rock fights out of a second attempt but gets low bridged by Shane. He fights back, whipping Benoit to the steps & crotching him around the ring post (DQ?).

Back inside... Dragon Screw by Rock! Figure Four! Benoit gets to the ropes, then knocks Rock outside to Shane, who sends him over the barricade. Benoit gives chase, but Rock throws a fan's drink in his face (DQ?). Benoit suplexes him over the barricade. Back in the ring... DDT by Rock! Which gets 2. Benoit regains the advantage with a backbreaker, Shane's dirty tactics and a neckbreaker for 2. Rock comes back... alley oop into the top rope! He covers but Benoit's foot was on the rope. Benoit comes back with a knock down and the flying headbutt, but is too knackered to make the cover.

Rock back with rights. SPINE ON THE PINE! PEOPLE'S ELBOW! But Shane is distracting the ref. He finally gets there. 1, 2... NO! Benoit brawls back. Superplex city! The count starts amid Rocky chants. Cover by Benoit... gets 2! Both men trade clotheslines, then Benoit gets a chair. Shane now comes in & nails the ref in the back with a chair. Rock chases Shane off. CROSSFACE BY THE ROCK!!!

The ref gets in position and calls for the bell, so everyone thinks Benoit submitted, but he didn't. It turns out THE ROCK IS DQED! THE REF THOUGHT IT WAS HIM THAT HIT HIM WITH THE CHAIR! Shane hits Rock with a chair. Benoit is announced as the champion!!!

They replay the incident & Commissioner Foley comes out. JR says the DQ thing backfired on him. Foley chants. He says he didn't see a DQ, to a big pop, & no-one in Dallas saw one either, so he's RESTARTING THE MATCH! Rock with the "Just Bring It!" pose to Benoit and we see he's busted open. JR: "Dammit the fight is on!"

They brawl but Benoit hits the three Germans! 1, 2... Rock out at 2 to massive Rocky chants. Benoit tries the crossface... and gets it after pulling Rock away from the ropes. It's a long, slow crawl to the ropes for Rock. JR: "Inches away... but it might as well be a mile if he can't get to the bottom rope!" He gets there! Benoit tries again... ROCK BOTTOM!!! 1... 2... 3!

Winner: The Rock (still World Wrestling Federation Champion)

Verdict: 8/10. Well how about it, a Dusty finish that vaguely made sense! I guess they figured having Jericho winning the title only for the decision to be reversed worked enough to make it worthwhile doing with Benoit too. It certainly didn't do him any harm. They put over how well Benoit took it to The Rock, although Rock didn't look like a slouch either, as he opened up his playbook a bit for this match, busting out some different stuff. These two had really good chemistry and I'd have liked to have seen more high profile matches from them.

Final Thoughts: Another good show overall, a few more peaks and troughs than Judgement Day. The Taker - Angle match was worthless and the Tag Title match was much less entertaining than the build to it. And Tazz - Snow was just kind of there. But other than that you had a pretty innovative opener, a neat European title match, a great effort in the cage, a fabulous LMS match and an exciting and controversial main event. Another thumbs up.

Final Verdict: STICK

"Paaan's People!"

Stick or Twist: WWF Judgement Day 2000

Hello there.

So one of the few interests of mine I haven't brought up on this blog yet is... WRESTLING! Like most people I became obsessed with it in 1999/2000 when it was in it's biggest boom period. I still keep up with it and sporadically enjoy WWE, although nowadays I'm much more into New Japan Pro Wrestling because it's a much more consistent product and everyone beats the SHIT out of each other. I'm also enjoying TNA's second British Boot Camp at the minute - good lord there's so much talent on these shores.

Anyway, this is a tryout for an idea I considered for a podcast, but decided would be too time consuming and needed too many resources I don't have (some good recording equipment, at least one wing man), so I'm giving it a go as a column instead to see how it reads. (If podcasts are more your thing check out the lads at OSW Review, they're consistently hilarious).
I thought it would be a good idea to run through my old DVDs and re-evaluate whether they're worth keeping (stick) or dumping (twist). This is my first go - the earliest one I had in terms of chronology of the actual shows. Let me know what you think.

WWF Judgement Day 2000

May 31st 2000, Freedom Hall, Louisville, KY

Attendance: 16, 827

This is the Silver Vision "Tagged Classics" edition, which means it's a direct rip of their old VHS edition and thus there's ZERO censorship of the old WWF scratch logo or people saying "WWF". Happy days!

* The opening video package is themed around the 60 Minute Iron Man main event, and highlights everything that you do in an hour, including thinking of sex at least 21 times (awkwardly they then cut to footage of HHH and The Rock straight after this fact). We also get one of the all time classic Mr. McMahon quotes: "LIFE SUCKS... AND THEN YOU DIE!"

*After the opening pyro we cut backstage to the McMahon-Helmsley regime, and Vince bemoan's the absence of Pat Patterson: "How can we have an event without Patterson here?". HARDCORE CHAMPION Gerald Brisco then enters and takes everyone's coffee orders. X-Pac asks for some ice in his because he's a douche. Vince then runs down the matches involving the faction tonight.

*Suddenly we cut elsewhere to see the Headbangers beating up Brisco attempting to win his title! 24/7 baby! 

*We then see the special referee for the main event, Shawn Michaels, walking backstage in his ref shirt and boy shorts.

* Kurt Angle comes out to the arena, and says since he's been hanging with Edge & Christian he's got more attention from the ladies - rumour has it he's "all that"! A sign in the crowd reads "Deport Angle". He then fluffs some lines of a nursery rhyme about his three I's and introduces Edge & Christian (the WWF Tag Champs) to screams from girls in the audience.

*E&C come out with sacks, as Christian say how good it is to be in LEWIS-ville to massive heat. Then, "for the benefit of those with flash photography..." we get a five second pose of Kentucky's greatest cultural achievement: the Jug Band!

Match 1: Too Cool (Scotty 2 Hotty & Grandmaster Sexay) & Rikishi vs Kurt Angle, Edge & Christian

Talk on commentary quickly turns to Rikishi's arse, as King wonders what those false teeth from the jug band pose would look like in it.

The heels Pearl Harbour the faces only to get stacked in the corner and butt bombed, although Angle bails before he can suffer the final one. 2 Cool double team and Scotty moonwalks but Christian sneak attacks. Grandmaster throws himself across the top turnbuckle to save Scotty from a whip in the corner. Edge tries the same for Christian but just gets hung up on the top rope. His head then gets drop toe hold-ed into Christian's bollocks but the crowd are too busy chanting for Rikishi to notice. Randomly, Grandmaster's trousers fall down which causes corpsing from his teammates (send for the man!).

Christian's mocking of 2 Cool's dancing allows Rikishi to tag in. Angle tags in too and nearly gets squished with a standing Bonsai Drop counter to a sunset flip. King: "Just say no to crack!". Scotty tags in and tries The Worm, but Angle cuts him off. Classic heel blind tag by Edge. The heels isolate Scotty for barely ten seconds and already the crowd are desperate for him to get the tag, chanting ANGLE SUCKS. Scotty counters a powerbomb with an alley oop onto the top rope and gets the hot tag to Rikishi! He cleans house, squashes all three heels in the corner and gives Angle the Stinkface (for some reason called the Stinkyface here).

A Rikishi Driver attempt is countered into a double DDT but 'Kish no sells it, only to get speared by Edge. Edge mocks The Worm, but gets Wormed himself! Superkick by Grandmaster and a Worm for Angle too. Rikishi goes for the Rikishi Driver on Edge, but Christian whacks him with the ring bell. Edge covers but Grandmaster hits him with the hip hop drop! 1, 2, ...3! (Angle was blatantly meant to break that up but missed his cue.)

Winners: 2 Cool & Rikishi

Verdict: 6.5/10. Lots of fun, the crowd loved 2 Cool & 'Kish, although the screw up at the end made the finish feel a bit abrupt. You can tell it was a mistake by the looks on everyone's faces and the fact the replay only focuses on Angle getting the Stinkface.

*After the match 2 Cool & 'Kish do their winning routine and beg Rikishi to dance to a massive Rikishi chant from the crowd. FARTY PYRO!

*JR gets over HBK as the ref for the main event ("But whose side is he on!?"), and we cut backstage to Shawn being interviewed by Michael Cole. Cole says Shawn saw both Steph and The Rock on Heat, and Shawn says he's not been around in a while and is just saying hi and, while HHH is his boy, people should judge the job he's done after the match. Cole heard rumours online that Shawn will screw Rock, prompting Shawn to shit on the internet & end the interview.

*Earlier on Heat, Eddie Guerrero & Chyna arrived in a dated looking low rider. Eddie is awesome here: "You know you loooove the love machine baby!" Dean Malenko & Perry Saturn then turn up and are very wooden, laying claim to Eddie's European title. Chyna says she'll stay out of their business (while lifting her sunglasses and giving a massive wink).

Match 2: WWF European Championship Match - Eddie Guerrero (C) (w/ Chyna) vs Perry Saturn vs Dean Malenko (WWF Light Heavyweight Champion)

Another crowd sign: "Chyna, how about Redneck Heat!". Chyna has brought some loaded roses to the ring which JR puts over (despite them being the worse weapon in No Mercy). He then says Chyna was the wedge that broke the R4dicals up and points out Saturn is the only member who hasn't won a title yet. King: "I like Perry Saturn, it's like he's watching a tennis match without moving his head". Malenko is the only guy to come out to the R4dicals' group music which makes him look like a jobber.

Perry & Dean double team Eddie with Demolition's old finisher, but Perry turns on Dean quickly and hits a HUGE gorilla press on Eddie. Eddie counters a suplex with a double mule kick to the others' cajones (JR: "He got four in one there!") and quickens the pace, botching a rope walk Frankensteiner on Malenko but having better luck with a regular one on Saturn. It's obvious Eddie is the only one in the match with a marginal bit of (Latino) heat. Saturn & Malenko try to hit a Doomsday Device on Eddie, but Perry double crossed Dean again, using Eddie to crotch him on the top. Eventually Dean gets a super gutbuster on Eddie.

Saturn then steal's both men's finishers (he's twirled the analogue stick anti-clockwise then), so then Eddie gives him the brainbuster and Dean gives him the Rings of Saturn. Malenko then did a shitty Bossman cop-out Frog Splash on Eddie. A chain of suplexes (Saturn suplexes Eddie, who's suplexing Dean) prompts Chyna to deck Perry with the roses while the ref was distracted (King claims they're just stale!). Malenko blocks Chyna's attempt to hit him with the roses though, so she gets off the apron with Dean holding the roses and trips him up face first on them, allowing Eddie to roll him up with a beautiful Mahistral for the 3!

Winner: Eddie Guerrero (still champion)

Verdict: 6/10. A much sloppier match than you'd expect from these three, they might have got away with it if the crowd cared more than they did. Also JR mentioned Malenko had the chance to be a double champion - could there be a LESS prestigious pair of titles to have than the European and Ligh Heavyweight titles?)

*While celebrating, Eddie rips the roses apart to reveal a lead pipe. Who'd have guessed! Chyna plays dumb.

*We get a replay of how Brisco won the Hardcore title on Smackdown by pinning a sleeping Crash Holly. Cole & King whispered along to this for some reason. We then see Gerry in the men's lavs, scared by his own reflection. The idiot even calls it a sunofabitch and punches it.

*A video package for the Shane McMahon vs Big Show match shows a sick bump Shane took into the Titantron, along with his rubbish joint effort chokeslam ("The Simba Slam") he and his cronies put on Big Show.

Match 3: No Holds Barred & Falls Count Anywhere - Shane McMahon vs Big Show

JR think's it might be appropriate Shane's coming out to "No Chance In Hell". This is the first time Shane parodied his opponent's shirt, coming out in Big Show's shirt but with his own "Which way did he go?" catchphrase on the back. Show, in a pet peeve of mine, comes out in a shirt featuring his old haircut.

Shane tries a suicide dive to start but Show catches him & throws him to the ring steps. JR: "That's one of those XFL style catches", just in case you forgot what year this was. Show steps on Shane's hand on the steps, gets a pop for taking him into the crowd then presses him back in the ring. He literally starts kicking Shane's arse! After his always impressive superkick he calls for the chokeslam but Bossman comes out and attacks with the nightstick (no holds barred!). Show fights back with the safest Vader-style powerbomb you'll see. T&A (Test & Albert) then come out with chairs but Show punches them away. Trish is out now, and low blow's Show, but he no sells it and then throws Trish arse first over the top rope onto T&A (lucky buggers).

Shane's crawling away towards the tron, but Show gives chase. They repeat the tron bump from Raw. Show rips a girder off the set but Shane dropkicks him & T&A attack. Shane runs the girder into Shows head with a case for a 2 count. Show fights back, throwing T&A into the tron, which Shane tries to climb up (you'll have to wait another few months for that spot mate). Bull Buchanan's out now, attacking Show with the nightstick, which allows Shane to drop an amplifier on Big Show's leg (drawing fake sparks), and then break a "cinder block" (probably made of flour it broke so easily) over his head for the three count (falls count anywhere!). Show gets taken to an ambulance.

Winner: Shane McMahon

Verdict: 7/10. Typcial entertaining ADD Shane upset match, that was a good way to write off Big Show while he... worked on his cardio or something.

*Brisco asks to hang in the referee's locker room to relax, promptly falling asleep. The refs try to sneak on him, causing him to flip out and say he'll mention this to "Mr MACMAN".

*HHH is backstage with HBK, catching up, asking about his family & making fun of his shorts. Shawn says he loves his shorts.

*The video package for Benoit vs Jericho debates who has the better submission move. We also see Hardcore Holly injured Benoit's knee on Smackdown, while JR mentions Y2J's shoulder isn't 100% either.

Judgment Day 2000: Chris Benoit vs Jericho promo by RatedREdgeHead316

Match 4: Submission Match for the WWF Intercontinental Championship - Chris Benoit (C) vs Chris Jericho

Benoit comes out in a knee brace due to Holly's attack, and looks ripped. Jericho meanwhile... state of your pony tale mate. JR puts over both men's similarities (Both Canadian, both trained by Harts etc.)

Chop war to start. Y2J tries a fujiwar armbar (why?) but Benoit hits him with a shoulder breaker (King: "I'm not gonna say what that looks like to me.") and hits the flying headbutt to the shoulder! Commentary FINALLY get over that any submission could win the match & it's not just the crossface versus the Walls of Jericho while Benoit applies a seated abdominal stretch. Jericho then hits his apron dropkick (as we cut to Val Venis, who's challenged the winner - state of your IC title division mate!) and gives Benoit a shinbreaker on the stairs. Like an idiot, Y2J goes for a cover after a double arm backbreaker. Another chop war. King: "Let's you & I try that JR." JR: "I'll pass."

Another idiotic move by Jericho, going for a shoulder barge in the corner only to eat the ring post. Benoit (barely) exposes the turnbuckle & sends Jericho into it. RESTHOLD. Chop war again, before Benoit hits a snap suplex & knees the wrong shoulder! Cross armbreaker by Benoit, forcing Jericho to the ropes (while Bob Holly looks on). Now Benoit's being an idiot, trying to knee Jericho in the corner, only for Jericho to move and flapjack him onto the knee (nice). A shit Dragon Screw attempt is countered to a mount and tiny BORING chants. Y2J manages to remove Benoit's brace & starts whipping him with it. LIONSAULT! Jericho follows up with a TARANTOOLA!!! (Walls of Jericho with Benoit wrapped in the ropes). Benoit fights out.

After ducking an enzughiri, Benoit starts reeling off German suplexes. The third gets countered into a Walls attempt by Jericho, but Benoit whacks him with the knee brace and gets the Crippler Crossface! Big Y2J chants as Benoit pulls him closer to the centre and modifies it into a choke. Y2J sturggle valiantly but passes out and Benoit wins. Benoit refuses to let go after the bell.

Winner: Chris Benoit (still champion)

Verdict: 8/10. Well that finish was awkward knowing what we do now about Benoit. It was irritating to see two supposedly smart, ring generals have their characters make some totally idiotic moves but apart from that this was solid work, and Jericho refusing to tap was a nice touch. We'd love it if there was an IC title match this good nowadays.

*Cole is backstage with Brisco, who bemoans how everyone wants his Hardcore title. Even his boys back home and his neighbours are trying to beat him and warns Cole off any funny ideas...

*handbags* "Oooooh!"

Behind them we see some vendor guys ask a ref to help them beat Brisco, who finally notices & beats them up.

*Rock is in the locker room berating Shawn to call the main event down the middle otherwise it'll be between the two of them "and it's sure as hell not gonna take sixty miuntes" (*handbags* Oooooh!"). Shawn just rolls his eyes.

Match 5: Tag Team Tables Match - The Dudley Boyz (D-Von & Bubba Ray) vs D-Generation X (Road Dogg & X-Pac w/ Tori)

First team to put both members of the other team through tables wins. We see a replay of Tori splashing Bubba through a table on Raw, with D-Von promising they'll testify at Judgement Day. Road Dogg does his typical face schtick before the match even though DX are the heels. This is the first time the Dudleys get pyro I think (and it's only a tiny flame). JR: "Who's gonna get wood tonight?"

For some reason they start this like a regular tag match (wtf?). D-Von controls Road Dogg with elbows, only for X-Pac to give him a roundhouse kick (and his stupid Bruce Lee posing). Dudleys regain control after a lovely second rope clothesline by Bubba and "WASSUP!"'s without the verbal bits (but only when Tori had the ref's attention - why? It's no DQ)  to both men, drawing BIG tables chants. DX try to leave, but the Dudleys stop them. Another interesting crowd sign: "Chyna is my Dad". Bubba tells Road Dogg "Eat this!"only to then hit the shittest punch ever. He gets in a trance looking at Tori & DX take advantage, double teaming D-Von. Bronco Buster to X-Pac heat.

They're STILL persevering with tag rules. Bubba gives the ref shit & DX sneak in a double team choke (why do they have to sneak?). RD with the front chancery to work the crowd. Tag to Bubba but the ref misses it (WHY does it matter?!). Doulbe clothesline by D-Von & Bubba finally gets the tag. It's a total anticlimax, getting no heat until he tells X-Pac to suck it! He cleans house with a sidewalk slam, Bubba Bomb and Samoan Drop (and he's not even Samoan!) before FINALLY  calling for tables! Road Dogg whips D-Von into the steps when he gets the tables though, and then gives him the Stretch Armstrong through the table! DX need to put Bubba throug a table to win.

X-Pac tries to bronco buster D-Von through a table in the corner(!) (WHY?! He's already gone through a table!) but Bubba stops him and counters a leapfrog into a powerbomb through the table! The Dudleys must put Road Dogg through a table to win.

RD & Bubba brawl The ref tries to stop them but we get the ECW spot where they both throw him through a table propped in the corner. Dogg now think's Bubba's on his side like an idiot & does the Dudley's sign but gets DDTed. This prompts feminist icon Gerald Brisco to come out. 3D through the table on Dogg but the ref's still down! Brisco pulls RD out of the ring. Tori comes in to buy time but Bubba grabs her. JR: "Tori's going to get some SERIOUS WOOD TONIGHT!" ...is that even physically possible?

Brisco interrupts the attempted superbomb on Tori (Bubba only selling at the second time of asking), and X-Pac gets the SUPER X-Factor on Bubba through the table, just as Brisco gets the ref up, to win it for DX!!!

Winners: DX

Verdict: 5/10. God, I thought the IC title match had logic holes! This was really odd, I mean why keep up the pretence of a regular tag match? The crowd didn't even get into the hot tag. I just found it difficult to suspend my disbelief, this was a bigger mess than it should have been.

*After the match the Dudleys get their heat back by 3D-ing Brisco through a table (poor Gerry - what a night for him!)

* We get an ominous video with the creepy Shining girls, hyping The Undertaker's return. "Are you scared?" JR plays dumb.

*Video package for the main event, with HHH continually asking "Can you haaang, Rock?"  (*handbags* Oooooh!") Pinfalls, submissions, count outs and DQs will all count as falls. The man with the most falls after 60 minutes wins the title. It also alludes to HBK screwing The Rock the last time he reffed a Rock v HHH match on the first Smackdown. Oh also, Rock's cowhide vest is RIDICULOUS.

*We see they're using the arena's score board to keep track of time and falls. HBK comes out first, gyrating and shockingly still drawing screams from the girls. He also shakes Fink's hand. HHH is out next, and awesomely, a fan ruins his water shot by blocking the boom camera with his Rock sign! JR points out neither man has wrestled 60 minutes before and tries to get over calling it "the hour". 

In a very babyface move, HHH tells the rest of the regime to go to the back because he wants to show he can do it himself. JR point out Rock retains in a tie, while King says HHH has the most to prove since he made the challenge. Good stuff.

Finally Rock comes out to a MONSTER pop, culminating in his pose in the corner.

It's main event time!

Main Event: 60 Minute Iron Man Match for the World Wrestling Federation Championship - The Rock (C) vs Triple H, Special Guest Referee - Shawn Michaels

Big time Rocky chants as Rock paces the ring, which King tells him not to do as it takes up energy - nice. Naturally there's loads of stalling to start & the first 30 seconds are all trash talk & going nose to nose. Commentary compare the match to the Kentucky Derby - "Those thoroughbreds only have to go for two minutes". Yeah, IN YOUR FACE HORSES! Rock gets the first knockdown & pin attempt, then another & an inside cradle, so HHH takes a breather on the outside.

5 MINUTES in and it's still all headlocks. LEAPFROG by Rock, followed by a right hand, causing HHH to stall outside again, taking exception to the closed fist & jaw-jacking with the fans. HHH tries his own leapfrog & naturally fails, but gains the advantage with a clothesline & starts working over Rock's arm. Divorce court gets 2.

10 MINUTES in & HHH has a rest hold on Rock's arm. Rock pulls Hunter's hair in the corner but Shawn does nothing, as we get another XFL reference (*groans*). HHH kicks Rock's head when he lowered it too early, only to then nonchalantly walk into a ROCK BOTTOM for 3! ROCK 1-0 HHH

HHH rolls outside but Rock gives chase, leading to the obligatory Attitude era ramp way brawl. HHH accidentally knees the barricade & gets suplexed back into the ring for 2. Rocky starts working HHH's leg as King points out HHH needs two falls really as a draw is no good to him. Shinbreaker in the steps! Just like the IC title match (Dammit D'Lo!). Rock starts kicking Hunter's leg out from his leg and locks in the Figure Four (to surprisingly few "WOOOO"s). Hunter sells it like a face ("Oh shit!") and rolls Rock over the second time of asking. Rock gets the ropes and they head back outside as some girls in the audience randomly go mental for The Rock. HHH takes him into the crowd for a pop. Big schmoz before HHH backdrops Rock back to ringside.

20 MINUTES in, as HHH gets a suplex ("and a beauty!") back in the ring, followed by elbow drops (instead of his usual knee drop in some nice selling of the knee). Head of steam by Rock just gets him sent over the top rope. Hunter's knees get whipped into the steps, prompting a Jim Andrews shout-out from JR. Rock then drapes HHH's hamstring over the second rope and knees it. Nice spot! RESTHOLD, followed by another Figure Four attempt, which HHH counters into the Pedigree for 3! ROCK 1-1 HHH

We then get a choke spot before HHH whips Rock into an inside cradle which gets 3 to big heat! BOOO! ROCK 1-2 HHH

Commentary are selling Rock still being out of it from the Pedigree. He comes back with rights only to get low bridged to the outside. More AE ramp brawling, this time including whips into the staging and suplex/block/suplex spots.

30 MINUTES in and Rock counters a headlock into a back suplex on the outside. He whips Hunter into the apron & backdrops him straight after. In a nice touch, HBK defends his lack of counting to the announce team, and King points out a double count out would make no difference to the score anyway. Back inside both men sell fatigue before HHH hits the face breaker and a beautiful piledriver for 3! ROCK 1-3 HHH

JR says HHH should play defence now which impresses King. "You sure you haven't wrestled before JR?" JR: "...Just me and the English language a few times." They sell the clock as The Rock's enemy now. HHH stomps a shit mudhole before HBK pulls him off & Rock EXPLODES out of the corner with a clothesline. That lights a fire under him before he's cut off with a reverse elbow for 2. HHH goes up top like an idiot and gets Flair-pressed off by Rock. Both men are down. A slugfest ensues, then they have a chat in the corner. BEAUTIFUL Mahistral by Rock gets 2 in a hot near fall. High knee by HHH gets 2. Rock's got a small hardway above his right eye. Another chat is followed by a sleeper by HHH. He keeps putting his feet on the ropes, but Shawn catches it the second time. They squabble a bit before another sleeper is countered into a side belly-to-belly suplex by Rock, which gets 2, but only because Rock too nearly 20 seconds to cover through exhaustion. Another whip gets reversed into a botched float-over DDT by Rock for 3! ROCK 2-3 HHH

King pleads with Rock to cover again, but JR says his head must not be right from fatigue. Outside they go as HHH tries to whack Rock with a chair but Shawn stops him to a big pop. Rock fights back with a neckbreaker on the floor. Back in the ring HHH begs off in the corner, but he just so happens to be by the chair again and WHACKS Rock in the head for the DQ. ROCK 3-3 HHH

The tie is short lived though, as HHH cradles Rock with his feet on the ropes for 3. ROCK 3-4 HHH

Rock has bladed. Shawn checks on him. HHH looks knackered, but gets the sleeper again. Amazingly Rock gets his arm up before the third drop and fights out, only to wind back in the sleeper and pass out, scoring HHH another fall. ROCK 3-5 HHH

HHH won't relinquish the hold so Shawn pulls him off by the hair. HEBNER SHOVING MATCH SPOT! 12 MINUTES REMAINING! HHH finally pulls his elbow pads up & Rock fights back, whipping Hunter to the corner over the top, his feet hitting the camera man on the way out. During some replays HHH gets a DDT for 2.

10 MINUTES TO GO! HHH goes up top again (idiot) and gets crotched. SUPERPLEX CITY! JR: "It's nut cuttin' time at 8:45". Rock finally gets a cover but only gets 2. JR says that may have been his last chance, calling Hunter's lead "apparently insurmountable", thus telegraphing that it's not. Clothesline over the top and a catapult into the ring post by Rock, who tells the Spanish announce team to expect trouble. HHH regains the advantage & pulls apart the ENGLISH  announce table instead (the Spanish guys are right there...). JR: "The table has been set King!" HHH tries to ROCK BOTTOM Rock through the table, but Rock counters and PEDIGREES HHH on the table!!! The table doesn't break and Rock & Shawn chat. Shawn counts mighty quickly as HHH gets counted out.  ROCK 4-5 HHH

Hunter blades and "the damned McMahons are back!" ASSHOLE chants as Vince, Shane & Steph come back out. Shawn starts another count but HHH barely gets in at 9. 3 MINUTE WARNING!!!

Rock knocks Shane & Vince off the apron to a big pop. SPINE ON THE PINE!  THE MOST Ridiculous Move in Sports Entertainment Today... The People's Elbow! 1, 2, 3! ROCK 5-5 HHH

Shane pulls Shawn out, so Shawn batters him & Vince to a BIG pop. Road Dogg & X-Pac jump their cue and try attacking Rock before Shawn's down. He finally does get knocked down as HHH gets whipped into him on the apron. ROCK BOTTOM as the Shining girls vignette plays on the tron. Rock gets quadruples teamed, but "now BACK from the dead"... HOLY SHIT IT'S BIKER TAKER! HE'S COMING FOR MACMAN!!!

Undertake cleans house with 30 seconds left. Chokeslams to Shane & Pac! Rights to Dogg & Vince! A Steph slap gets no sold. HHH stops him chokeslamming her, but gets chokeslammed himself. Crucially, Shawn sees this, before the buzzer. Taker Tombstones HHH as the buzzer sounds. Big pops from the crowd as Taker's back & they think Rock's retained. EYE ROLL by Taker.

But wait... Shawn has DQed Rock for Taker's interference! ROCK 5-6 HHH TRIPLE H IS THE NEW CHAMPION!!!

Winner: Triple H (New World Wrestling Federation Champion, 4th reign)

*Taker stalks Shawn to the back as the regime pull HHH out of the ring. Commentary speculate (incorrectly) Taker's attack on HHH was after the buzzer.

Verdict: 9/10. Well sod that finish obviously, but you have to take your hat off to Rock and Trips for this one. Three years of working together all the way to the top of the card paid off categorically. Just a really well wrestled, mostly logical match with tonnes of drama and nice story: cocky challenger HHH gets caught out early only to regroup and give Rock a lead to chase. Having HHH take the lead with more elementary moves like a cradle and a piledriver was a great decision, as it made you CONVINCED when Rock hit stuff like the Mahistral and the belly-to-belly that he was getting the fall. These two had a lot of high points together, and for me this is right up there with their Backlash match as an example of them getting near as dammit everything right. Well recommended.

Final Thoughts: Overall this was a good show from a time when it was hard for the WWF to have a BAD show. Some questionable psychology in two of the midcard bouts aside, there was some good stuff with the opener, Eddie's charisma, the Shane O'Mac overbooking special and The Ballad of Gerry Brisco: Hardcore Champion & Feminist Icon. We also got some solid wrestling from the IC title match and the main event, the latter being one of the most overlooked matches in WWF history. So overall...

Final Verdict: STICK

"That's a keeper!