Stick or Twist: WWE Wrestlemania 21

Here's an important show for me. By the end of 2004 I was falling out of love with wrestling. Post Backlash, so many pay per views left me either not as satisfied as I used to be or just flat out disappointed. WWE felt stale and unable to meet my expectations. 2005 had a shaky start too - poor reviews put me off buying the Royal Rumble (Divas search rejects being the focus of the WWE title match, Orton and HHH flopping again and Cena and Batista, the big hopes for the future, buggering the finish of the Rumble match). Then Wrestlemania approached: it had an absolutely mouthwatering card and the prospect of Cena and Batista as the new faces of the company became more enticing. So I gave this show a try and never looked back.

WWE Wrestlemania 21
April 3rd 2005
Staples Center, Los Angeles, California
Attendance: 20,193

* Lilian Garcia sings 'Murica The Beautiful instead of the usual celeb. It's not as good as when she did it acapella in 2000. It's weird seeing undead Undertaker slapping hands with troops in the clips. They've taken the "Wrestlemania goes Hollywood" motif quite seriously with RED CARPET, a Hollywood sign parody and "Now showing" screen. They even raise the curtain on the Tron.

* Lots of clips of the movie parody ads are shown. I felt sorry for Booker T - this is the only glimpse we get of him. We get the Gladiator parody with Stone Cold in full. The guy in Joaquin Phoenix's role is crap. That's it? No build for the actual card? Huh.

Match 1: WWE Tag Team Champion Eddie Guerrero vs WWE Tag Team Champion Rey Mysterio

The Mexi Powers Explode! Chavo stirred the shit pointing out Eddie hadn't beaten Rey in a while, hence this match. Sadly Rey has no superhero outfit this year, just a Mexico themed one and a dire mask he has to keep adjusting.

Eddie mat wrestles to start. Rey flips out of a fireman's carry but eats a deep armdrag. Mysterio sunset flips out of a Greco-Roman knuckle lock, but Eddie catapults him over the top. Rey dodges a baseball slide and fakes a dive. Back to the knuckle lock. Guerrero is monkey flipped over and both BRIDGE UP. Mysterio flips out of a Northern Lights Suplex and lures Eddie into a huge monkey toss! He lands on his feet from a backdrop over the top but Eddie clocks him and hits a plancha. BIG back suplex by Eddie gets 2 between restholds, including an STF and a lovely surfboard he had to break as his shoulders were down. Rey flips out of a hammerlock to armdrag Eddie outside (it looked heavily edited). Corkscrew plancha by Rey!

Seated senton back inside only for Eddie to try the Three Amigos... reverse victory roll by Rey! Gets 2! Tazz puts over Eddie's "heavy duty offence" as he gets a vicious backbreaker for 2. Three Amigos countered again with an around the world headscissors, but Eddie ducks the 619 to get a gorgeous tilt-a-whirl backbreaker for 2. AT LAST Eddie hits all Three Amigos. Froggy Splash... missed! Mahistral by Rey... countered! 1, 2, NO. Rey avoids a powerbomb... 619! West Coast Pop... blocked with a powerbomb! 1, 2... NO! Crowd chant for Eddie but out of nowhere Rey counters a tilt-a-whirl with a hurricanrana for 3!

Winner: Rey Mysterio

Verdict: 7.5/10. Neat match with good work on the back by Eddie. It just lacked the killer edge of a true rivalry, despite being pretty competitive.

* JBL and his cabinet are backstage. "Ha ha we stroll on a Sunday night MAGGLE!" They bump into Triple H and Ric Flair. Hunter says JBL calling himself a wrestling God is a joke, but JBL says he hasn't lost yet - worry about Batista, he guarantees Cena's dealt with. HHH: "Keep telling yourself you're good, and sooner or later somebody will believe you." John missed a prime opportunity to nick H's catchphrase there. They agree to wait til the night ends to see who's champ.

Match 2: Money in the Bank Ladder Match - Chris Jericho vs Chris Benoit vs Christian (w/ Tomko) vs Kane vs Edge vs Intercontinental Champion Shelton Benjamin

Ah yes, the debut of a great, long lasting concept. The winner gets a World title match any time they choose within the next year. Benoit has stitches from a match on Raw. In another ace spot based on Kane's entrance, the ladders erected on stage catch fire after his pyro!

Everyone attacks Kane on the ramp. Shelton and Benoit suplex him on the floor. Christian tries to get a ladder in the ring but Y2J whacks it into his face. He dropkicks a brawling Edge and Benoit off the apron and planchas Edge. Double jump plancha by Christian. Tope con heelo by Shelton! Finally Kane hits his flying clothesline to everyone! King: "You're right JR, this does resemble a human demolition derby." Kane clocks E & C with a ladder but Jericho dropkicks it in his face, then takes out Edge and Benjamin with it. Benoit Germans Y2J WHILE HE HOLDS THE LADDER! King: "I don't think I've ever seen a ladder and a wrestler suplexed at the same time."

Kane stops Benoit's climb but is put in the crossface! An interfering Edge does too, but Kane DRILLS Benoit in the face with a ladder and uses it like a guillotine to injure his arm. Spear by Edge to huge heat. LA: "You screwed Matt". E & C sandwich Kane between ladders but Shelton takes them out with a double clothesline. Edge ducks a Dragon Whip and it hits Cap, who's holding a ladder. JR: "Christian has eaten more ladder than the law should allow." Edge tries to spear Shelton into a ladder but gets flapjacked and Stinger Splashed into it. Nearly everyone climbs all at once. Arm breaker off the ladder to Benoit by Christian. Benjamin T-Bone Suplexes Edge off the ladder! Y2J lays out Cap on a ladder hooked into a standing ladder's rungs and climbs. Shelton RUNS UP THE SLANTED LADDER to clothesline Jericho off!!! 

Kane tries chokeslamming him outside but his foot gets caught in the ropes. Big boot by Tomko to Kane. He tries to lift Christian up the ladder but Kane shit cans him and knocks the CLB off the ladder onto Tomko outside! Kane and Y2J brawl up the ladder and both fall, Jericho sent over the top, Kane throat first to the ropes. Oh God, Benoit sets up a ladder in the corner... DIVING HEADBUTT OFF THE LADDER TO KANE! It reopened his stitches. He climbs but KANE SITS UP and climbs. Benoit headbutts the fuck out of him to knock him off. Edge hits the injured arm with a chair! Unopposed, he climbs and gets the case to win!!!

Winner: Edge

Verdict: 9/10. Holy fuck what a match. Tremendous spots, glued together with the story of Benoit's injured arm and stitches. Benjamin stole the show here with such incredible athleticism.

* Eugene's here. Being at Wrestlemania is his second favourite Mania moment ever behind the midgets attacking Bundy at WM III. He's interrupted by Davari and Muhammed Hassan. King: "The smart thing for Eugene to do would be to leave". Hassan is angry, not because he doesn't like midgets, but because he's not on the show. He gets the What treatment talking of Hollywood bigotry. Davari speaks non-English and Eugene's all "What are you saying?" Inevitably they beat Eugene up, Hassan with the Camel Clutch to FUCK HIS ASS AND MAKE HIM HUMBLE. 

The crowd clearly know what's coming but still mark THE FUCK out for new Hall of Famer HULK HOGAN coming out. JR: "Business is about to pick up." Big boot to Hassan, who gets shitcanned. Hulk talks trash forever while Davari stalks him with a chair. JR: "For the love of God c'mon!" He finally hits Hulk with the chair and it's no sold. FINGER POINT OF DOOM. Another boot and Davari's sent packing. Cue hot dogging and grand standing. JR: "Just like Hulkamania itself, this moment will live forever." ... So long as nothing exposes Hogan as a racist or anything. His wife, daughter and FORMER WCW CHAMPION David Arquette are shown at ringside.

"Yew don't like 'Murica yew cin jist gidddooooouutt!"

* Oh yes, next they hype Orton vs Taker, the first "someone tries to break the streak" feud. Orton wanted to add it to his "Legend Killer" resume. He slapped Taker and RKOed "girlfriend" Stacy Kiebler in the lead up.

Match 3: Interpromotional Match - The Undertaker (r/Smackdown) vs Randy Orton (r/Raw)

Druids with torches accompany Taker again. He "floats" to the ring on a platform hidden by smog. Tazz: "He's movin' to the ring but he's not walking." Cole calls it "Mind... games." Tazz correctly states he isn't Orton as Cole puts over how unheralded Taker's streak is and randomly includes Rob Van Dam in the list of legends Orton's taken out.

Orton sticks and moves to start, slapping Taker again. Nice leapfrog and dropkick. BAACK body drop. Leapfrog again but Randy eats a big soupbone. Cole: "Randy Orton cannot get into a slugfest with the legend." Beautiful roll up counter to a corner avalanche gets Orton 2. He tries the RKO but Taker hoists him over the top and into the announce table. Nasty. Apron legdrop by Taker! VINTAGE UNDERTAKER. Orton takes Old School completely wrong but ducks a boot in the corner and dropkicks Taker off the apron into the barricade. Clothesline back in gets 2 but Taker comes back with near falls from a running DDT and sidewalk slam.

Snake eyes by the Deadman... but Orton bounces back with a reverse elbow for 2. He clubs Taker and poses but Taker sits up. They botch a clothesline spot. Taker covers for 2, mouths "Fuck" and tells Randy the next spot. Dragon sleeper puts Orton out. His hand falls twice but he then gets a beautiful DDT counter. 1, 2, no. Randy with a chinlock, then a sleeper but Taker suplexes out. Orton gets booted when he charges to the corner but catches Taker with a sweet powerslam from a head of steam for 2. Tazz: "Randy Orton's a focused young athlete, a pure bred. He's the real deal Cole." 

Randy mounts Taker in the corner to punch and pose. Big mistake... Last Ride... countered, RKO... Orton's knocked into the ref. They botch the Last Ride but out comes Randy's Hall of Fame dad, Ace Cowboy Bob Orton WEARING HIS CAST. Cast shot to Taker! He gets the ref. 1... 2... NO! The crowd were into that. Taker sits up! Ace gets on the apron but when Randy whips Taker over he kicks Bob's head off. Goozle! Chokeslam... amazing MIDAIR RKO counter!!! 1, 2... NO. Orton calls for the Tombstone... but the Phenom flips out. Tombstone city! 1... 2... 3!

Winner: The Undertaker (13-0)

Verdict: 8/10. I'm a massive mark for this match. All the botches hurt it much more than I remembered but the fact is going into this match I had no faith in Orton mustering up anything against Taker and he came out with a really good outing. I also felt this was the start of a rejuvenation for Taker we'd not see consistently until a good couple of years later.

* King: "I may not be a leader of men but I'm certainly a follower of women." Must be Women's Title time! Christy Hemme won the Divas Search and got on the cover of Playboy. Trish took issue with the cover describing her as a champion. To even the odds Christy sought training from Lita.

Match 4: WWE Women's Championship Match - Trish Stratus (C) vs Christy Hemme (w/ Lita)

Christy's skip to the ring sure is something. Trish trolls Lita over her knee injury and has a unique outfit with a shirt collar and braces.

Trish mocks Christy, laying down for her, shoving her, sending her outside and to the steps easily. LA to Lita: "We want Matt." Trish mocks Hemme's skip and goes to finish early with the Chick Kick, but it's blocked. Lita distracts the ref and Christy kicks Trish in the groin! Christy's offence is mostly just pins - a banana split pin and sunset flip from doing the splits on the top buckle both get 2. Trish spears Hemme and pats herself on the back. Lita checks on Christy outside so Trish decks her into the barricade, but gets distracted talking smack back inside and is rolled up for 2. Christy starts kicking Trish's leg and bashing her head into the buckle. Reverse Twist of Fate! 1, 2, no. Reverse victory roll by Trish is rolled through for 2, but the Chick Kick gets 3 for Trish.

Winner: Trish Stratus (still champion)

Verdict: 3.5/10. Surprisingly serviceable thanks to Trish's antics but Christy's offence was really poor. The crowd, who'd turned on Lita already due to the Edge affair, turned on the whole match when they saw how little Christy had to offer.

* Hell yeah, HBK vs Angle us next. Apparently people irritated Kurt in 1996 talking of Shawn's wrestling clinic at Mania XII when he won an Olympic Gold Medal. This is the first time I can recall Shawn calling himself "Mr Wrestlemania".

Match 5: Interpromotional Match - Shawn Michaels (r/Raw) vs Kurt Angle (r/Smackdown)

What is it with Mania crowds not giving Shawn much love in the mid 00s? He didn't get a very big pop. King on Kurt: "First and only Olympic Gold Medallist in WWE history." JR: "... Fans still think he sucks." JR calls this the mat wrestler vs the catch-as-catch-can stylist.

Shawn slaps Kurt and gets taken down and waistlocked everywhere. Oh fuck off with the "You screwed Bret" chants LA, you're not in Canada! One bug bear I have: HBK gets Angle in a headlock FOREVER. It makes no sense, Kurt should school him here. Ever after a suplex Shawn doesn't break. Twice he hangs on from whip attempts. Kurt has to force a break in the corner. After a beautiful go behind he's headlocked AGAIN. This time he elbows out only to be hiptossed and put in a short armed scissors. Angle tries rolling HBK up, but has no luck until he deadlifts him. A sunset flip and backslide both get 2 for HBK then ARGH he gets the headlock AGAIN! And Kurt has to break in the corner AGAIN!

Get comfy Kurt, you'll be there a while

Angle doesn't mess about and gets the anklelock! Shawn rolls out and clotheslines himself and Kurt over the top in a nasty spill. HBK sets up an announce table but Kurt BATTERS him with uppercuts, going to suplex him through the table. Shawn blocks, only to be ANGLE SLAMMED INTO THE POST! Kurt targets the back, getting 2 from a suplex back inside. He facewashes Shawn while hooking a bodyscissors. Duelling "Let's go Michaels/Let's go Angle" chants as Michaels escapes, but he's turned upside down in the corner and suffers a great pair of belly to bellys for 2. HBK slaps Kurt again so he gets clocked with a clothesline for 2. Angle takes him up top. Superplex blocked... but Shawn misses the elbow!

The straps are down! Angle slam... beautiful armdrag counter! HUGE backdrop over the top by Shawn, followed by a crossbody to the outside. He crawls to the apron and Kurt tries to German him off it! HBK gets the ref's attention and mule kick's Kurt's nuts! How heelish. He kicks Angle onto the table... SPRINGBOARD SPLASH ONTO KURT ON THE TABLE!

It didn't break!!! King says it's been re-enforced with steel. The count is on. Both crawl in at 9. Kurt's bleeding at the mouth. Flying forearm by Shawn! Nip up. Inverted atomic drop. Top rope elbow! He tunes up the band... but the superkick is blocked! Anklelock!! Even when Shawn rolls through Angle hangs on. It takes AGES but Michaels gets the rope. Angle slam... no, sunset flip... rolled through to another anklelock! Victory roll counter - 1, 2... no. Clothesline ducked... superkick blocked... Angle slam! 1, 2... NO.

Kurt pulls his straps up just to pull them back down. Rare moonsault attempt... misses! Shawn struggles to go up top. Angle runs the ropes and SUPER ANGLE SLAMS SHAWN!! 1... 2... NO! Holy shit that got a great reaction. Angle hauls HBK up and screams in his face demanding he taps out. Sweet Chin Music! Michaels crawls over. 1... 2... no.  HBK struggles up... anklelock out of nowhere!!! JR: "He'll snap it like a twig!" Kurt keeps it on no matter what, rolling through with Shawn, pulling him to the centre. Leg grapevine! It takes FOREVER but EVENTUALLY SHAWN TAPS!

Winner: Kurt Angle

Verdict: 9.5/10. Phenomenal match. My misgivings over the overly long headlock and Shawn lasting so long in the anklelock only stop this being a perfect match, they don't stop it being a classic match. The highest drama singles match I can remember since Austin vs Rock at X7. 

* Apparently they had awards for the film parody trailers. The Basic Instinct one won best female and punchline.

Piper's Pit with special guest Stone Cold Steve Austin

Piper was inducted into the Hall of Fame last night, hence this. JR: "They broke the mould when they made that man." He says thank you for the HoF then asks: Who's the greatest rebel in WWE history? Austin? "Bullshit". He calls out Austin. In a cool effect the picture breaks like glass. Big reaction for Steve. Piper welcomes him with a slap so Austin thanks him with one too. Roddy: "I kinda like ya." Apparently he hasn't met Austin til now. The fans give him the What treatment but he plays up to it well talking of Austin and Vince. "Try to keep up with me". Piper has an AWESOME line: "I was here when Wrestlemania didn't have a number. I was pissin' Vince McMahon off when the red on the back of your neck was diaper rash, buddy."

Austin runs down Roddy's outfit: "Your little red dress [WHAT?], little furry gimmicks [WHAT?], little messed up boots [WHAT?], your little goatee [WHAT?] looks like a cat run off." Oh boy, Carlito interrupts, because arguing and slapping each other like little girls isn't cool. Piper: "You look like alfalfa". Carlito tells them to leave. Roddy snatches his apple out of mid-air, bites loads off and spits it on him. Carlito starts beating him up. Austin's amused initially, before deciding to stomp a mudhole and walk it dry. THUMB TO THE EYE BY PIPER! STUNNER! Piper and Austin toast. JR: "Austin likes a cold beer every now and then." STUNNER TO PIPER! Oh man there's a perfect shot of Austin toasting the crowd where beer sloshes on the camera.

* The Taxi Driver parody was voted the best. Big Show, Batista and Snitsky had the funniest bits but dear God did we need that glimpse of Michael Cole's chest?!

Match 6: Sumo Match - Akebono vs Big Show

I'm guessing the announcement of this match got a bad reaction because they cut to Tony Chimel explaining the rules suddenly. Push your opponent out of the circle or knock him off his feet to win. They show some happy Japanese people in the crowd when Akebono comes out. He's Hawaiian, the first foreign born Grand Champion in Sumo history. It still feels weird Show went from a WWE Title match last month to this.

Cole is pretty good explaining the opening traditions. I'm sure everyone was DYING to see Show in his Sumo gear. Eventually the ref gets them to start, both men with a big flurry using traditional two handed techniques. They reach the circle's edge but Show stands his ground well. He charges at Akebono but winds up more stunned than him. So Show does his ARGH chokeslam taunt to Hulk up and goes back to it, at one point lifting Akebono CLEAN OFF his feet, but Akebono quickly shuts him down, pushing him straight down and all the way out of the ring to win.

Winner: Akebono

Verdict: N/A. Well that definitely happened. I can't think of them ever doing an attraction seemingly just to appeal to overseas viewers before this. Moving on...

* JBL vs Cena is hyped next. JBL essentially made it a class war and screwed Cena out of his US Title, destroying the custom spinner version. Cena FUed Teddy Long in frustration so they did the whole "no touching" deal.

Match 7: WWE Championship Match - John Bradshaw Layfield (C) vs Jonn Cena

Bradshaw's entrance was peak JBL here: his limo had a police escort and $100 bills with his face on fall from the roof. They find an Asian lass in the crowd who picks one up and goes "JBLLL!" when she sees what it is. Cole lists the opponents and gimmick matches JBL has survived. I think this is the debut of Cena's "My Time Is Now" theme. That and everyone grabbing the JBL money means he gets a pretty subdued reaction which is weird to hear.

Headlock by JBL to start. Leapfrog(!) and shoulderblock by Cena, who runs into a boot and is stiffed with rights and clubs. A pair of neckbreakers by JBL gets 2. He catapults Cena's throat into the ropes. Cena brawls back but suffers a spinebuster and straitjacket neckbreaker for near falls. Again Cena's cut off by a thumb to the eye and hard clotheslines, and has to get his foot on the ropes from the cover. He's caught in a sleeper but eventually suplexes out. Stereo clotheslines put both men down.

Cena brawls but gets pulled outside and neckbreakered on the floor. Superplex by JBL gets a near fall. The comeback's finally on when JBL goes up top and Cena counters with a powerslam. Clotheslines, backdrop, shoulderblocks and calling JBL a sunovabitch follows. Dodgy jumping hip toss followed by the protobomb actually gets some boos. U can't C me! Five knuckle shuffle. He calls for the FU but runs into a boot. Clothesline from Hell... ducked... FU! 1, 2, 3!

Winner: John Cena (new champion, first reign)

Verdict: 3/10. What a terrible way to start the Cena era. Dull, dull beat down by Bradshaw followed by Cena just hitting every move he could think of in two minutes at the end to win. One of the most cliché Cena formula matches I've ever seen. It totally does the significance of this moment (JBL finally being dethroned, Cena arriving as "the guy, brother") a massive disservice.

* Recap of the Hall of Fame ceremony. Jimmy Hart saying "The Megaphone!" was neat, but pales in comparison to The Iron Sheik recounting NOBODY BEAT BOB BACKLUND... MADISON SQUARE GARDEN... AAAH PUT HIM IN DAA CAMEL CLUTCH! Tazz calls him the original Human Suplex Machine. The inductees are paraded for the live crowd and all get their own entrance themes for once. Orton still sells interfering in his son's match. Ace.

* It's World Title time! The slow build to Batista leaving Evolution was tremendous. He won the Rumble and Flair and Trips tried manipulating him into challenging JBL but he was having NONE of it in a brilliant contract signing segment that spawned the famous "Thumbs up? Thumbs down!". Dave even broke the sledgehammer over his knee. This whole build did a brilliant job of getting Batista over as a babyface that doesn't stand any nonsense.

Main Event: World Heavyweight Championship Match - Triple H (C) (w/ Ric Flair) vs Batista

Oh boy, Motörhead play Triple H to the ring. Lemmy gives no fucks about the lyrics. WHOPPER mutton chops on Hunter's face. Batista's machine gun war dance isn't as good without pyro but he still got a great reaction. King: "Triple H obviously taught Batista everything he knows. But he didn't teach Batista everything Triple H knows."

Big stare down to start draws Batista chants. Dave looks smug and Trips looks unnerved. First lock up is a stalemate, but Batista powers out of the next and knocks H down hard escaping a headlock. It takes an extra run up but Hunter knocks Dave down. Pedigree... Dave shoves him off into a Gorilla Press Slam. Dave: "C'mon!" BAACK body drop. H comes back with a high knee to send Batista out. Flair distracts him so Trips sneaks behind to send him to the steps. Batista struggle back in the ring and H levels him with a second rope elbow. He chokes Dave then distracts the ref so Naitch can too.

H works the back. Suplex coming up... woah, and a beauty! He follows with a backbreaker and draws the ref away again for more Flair choking. Batista fights back but gets hit with a MASSIVE spinebuster for 2 (three times). Neckbreaker by HHH who asks Dave "Ya OK champ?" Batista backdrops out of the Pedigree but falls to a facebreaker for 2. For some reason Trips goes up top, and just leaps into a clothesline. Sidewalk slam gets 2 by Dave. He runs into a boot charging to the corner, but hangs on from the whip to send Hunter over the top. H fights back and sends him to the steps. Pedigree on the steps... countered to a catapult into the post! Hunter blades!

Dave goes for the kill, whacking Trips into the steps. The crowd count along as he clubs the wound, then kicks his face off and gets hard corner clotheslines. Front powerslam! 1, 2, no. Naitch tries a cheapshot and pays for it. H was going to hit Batista with a chair outside but in a dramatic/hilarious spot the ref LEAPS FROM THE APRON to disarm him and sells like death! Flair tries a belt shot back in ring and gets spinebustered! As the ref gets him out, Trips hits Dave with the belt! BOO! 1, 2... NO. The ref's out from the kick out. Spinebuster by Batista! Batista Bomb... low blow by H! Pedigree... Dave powers out of Hunter's grip and hits him with White Noise! Shake the ropes! Thumbs up? Thumbs down! Batista Bomb! 1... 2... 3!!! JR: "The BEAST has been unleashed."

Winner: Batista (new champion, first reign)

Verdict: 7/10. Much better than I remember. The pace was a bit deliberate and Dave could have shown a bit more urgency capitalising on Trips being busted open, but it wasn't a chore to watch and proved to be a simple story told well that got Batista over wonders.

Final Thoughts: My intro probably gave it away but I bloody love this show. It really did restore my faith in wrestling. Two sheer classics in the debut Money in the Bank and the HBK-Angle dream match, two thoroughly rewarding outings from Eddie and Rey and Orton and Taker, some good fun with Austin in Piper's Pit and two fresher characters getting established as the men to lead the company into the future - Batista overcoming Triple H's months of manipulation in a solid outing and Cena finally ending JBL's unpopular run (which was much more satisfying than the actual match which was poorly booked). 
TL,DR: A brilliant undercard supporting two younger guys arriving as players, one of my favourite Wrestlemanias. Please watch.

Final Verdict: STICK

"Ooh, ten years of no selling, here I come!"

Stick or Twist: The Rise And Fall of ECW

I've quickly run out of 2004 shows to cover, but one of my favourite releases from that back then wasn't a Pay Per View, it was this documentary on ECW. I got it pretty much when it came out because it was in some multibuy deal with No Mercy 2004 (I don't have it any more so that won't be coming up) at MVC(!). Unlike most DVDs from 2004, I still had this and there'll be more of ECW to come, so I thought it was worth running through the story here.

• When NWA Eastern Championship Wrestling owner Todd Gordon and booker Eddie Gilbert fell out, Paul Heyman came in to book their next big show in September 93. Paul sought to shake things up, starting with opening act The Public Enemy - two white hip hop lovers. It set the tone for for all Paul's early acts.

Early feuds - Sabu vs Funk vs Douglas & Dreamer vs Sandman

• Sabu mesmerised Paul - he looked like he'd fight you to the death. Terry Funk is put over huge as a legit tough veteran with the foresight to put young guys over. "There would not be an ECW without Terry Funk." Naturally Paul has a great Funk impression. The two feuded with "The Franchise" Shane Douglas. One match they had that was a 60 minute draw is particularly cited as special.

• Douglas put the match over in an intense promo: "Professional wrestling as it was meant to be - ass kicking, take no names, beat the hell out of whoever's in front of ya." Tommy Dreamer ties Douglas' hatred of WCW to Heyman's. "You were joining the Taliban if you went to WCW." Heyman: "I pretty much told them to go fuck themselves when they were treating people like shit... and if don't think they enjoyed that."

• Dreamer did well in a match vs Tazz and wound up staying. Unbelievably at first he was labelled a pretty boy, with AWFUL braces. The Sandman embodied ECW with his pre match antics. The two had a match where the loser got caned. Tommy lost. We see some of the caning and it looked insane. Tommy didn't stay down despite fans begging him to, earning respect. Heyman called the feud innovative. They "blinded" Sandman at one point and went backstage to show heels and faces reacting to the injury. Paul credits him for staying home to sell it.

New talent and the rise of a revolution

• Cactus Jack came from WCW due to a lawsuit settlement, firstly for a "dream match" vs Sabu. We see Cactus' promo after losing where he spat on his WCW Tag Title as his pride was hurt. He got a lot of heat for it but felt Sabu deserved to be put over as the top guy. Mikey Whipwreck's story is fascinating - a 19 year old working on the ring crew in exchange for playing around in it a bit, he drew such sympathy when he took a bump that Heyman decided to train him to wrestle and initially give him no offence. He got really over, winning the Tag Titles with Cactus in a big upset. "He likes it! Mikey really REALLY likes it!!!"

• The big moment to break from the old school was when Shane Douglas won the NWA World Title and threw it on the ground. "From the Harley Races, to the Barry Windhams to the... Ric Flairs [Nevermind that shit, here comes Mongo!] ...they can all... kiss... my... ASS!!!" This was the genesis of the ECW chants. They left the NWA, becoming Extreme Championship Wrestling.

• A beautiful exchange between Eddie Guerrero and Dean Malenko highlights the bevy of great technicians to arrive late 94/early 95 to expand the audience, so they had the best wrestling around on top of the ultra-violence. Eddie particularly was grateful for the time and opportunity.

Accentuate the positive, elim-ah-nate the negative

• Director Ron Buffone talks wanting a more reality based product. Paul says it was since they couldn't compete with WWF or WCW's production work, so "why go there? Accentuate the positives, hide the negatives." Buffone loved leaving in mistakes/fans booing, and being honest about injuries.

• The audience experience was vital. Dreamer recalls people bringing weapons and asking fans to hold up a chair to bash his opponents into. Dawn Marie and Chris Jericho praise the fans' knowledge, Stevie Richards their creativity and Paul their star making ability. "The audience was the story." Foley and Rob Van Dam mention their brutal streak with bad wrestling.

• Raven is profiled next. Both the character and performer inspired Paul. Tommy puts over their feud and the story of being unable to beat him. At one point he piledrove Raven's girlfriend Beulah McGillicutty, drawing "He's hardcore" chants and, finally, acceptance from the fans.

A void to fill

• The roster began to dwindle. Paul publicly fired Sabu for going to Japan when he was booked for an ECW show. Tommy on Paul: "He lied to the wrestlers, but never lied to the fans." Then Tazz took a botched piledriver, finished his match, walked to hospital and was told "Well sir, you have a broken neck." He was out for 9 months. Paul still paid him despite only having a handshake for a contract.

• Ah, we hear how WCW "raided" Chris Benoit, Eddie and Dean. Bischoff: "One man's raid is another man's acquisition." He compared it to Vince "raiding" the territories in the 80s, then trolls ECW: talent "probably weren't getting paid", "WCW was a much more secure platform." Heyman: "Eric Bischoff is full of shit." Oh boy, big "Make WWE look good" bit here: Vince said he put Paul on the payroll to compensate for taking his talent "unlike Eric who'd take his talent and gleefully not give him anything."

• Paul filled the void with Rey Mysterio, Psicosis and Juventud Guerrera. Lots of Joey Styles going "HOORICANRANAH!" and a clip of Rey jumping off a car to 'rana someone. Paul: "If my father wasn't a lawyer I could never have run ECW." Another new face - STEVE AUSTIN. Bischoff fired him from WCW over the phone and luckily Paul called right after. His Austin impression is fucking hilarious - "IMA SIT AT HOME N DRINK A BEEEER!" He wanted Steve as champion but Steve's idea was to lose and say how close he was and how much more he wants it, earning him massive credit.

Innovation and controversy

• Cactus' incredible "anti-hardcore" promos are quite rightly lauded as the most creative ever by Paul. Jesus there was an angle where Raven brainwashed Sandman's son. Raven's laugh is messed up. Even worse, Raven CRUCIFIED SANDMAN!! He had to publicly apologise. KURT ANGLE was at that show and left in disgust. He was amazed Paul said he had "no idea" it'd happen. "You're running the show, if you don't know what's going on then you're an idiot."

• Another infamous angle - Beulah's pregnancy. "It's Tommy's?!" Hilariously in one beat down, a fan threw a pie so Tommy bit into it and piledrove Raven onto it. It turned out Beulah was faking, and cheating on Tommy with another woman! This led to the infamous line "I'll take 'em both, I'm hardcore!"

The quest for Pay Per View

• Being on Pay Per View was vital for growth. Companies were wary at first as they looked "real" like UFC, and apparently they nearly got thrown off thanks to the "Mass Transit incident" - a substitute wrestler lied about their age and got terribly cut in a match that D-Von Dudley said was the scariest thing he'd seen. But they eventually got a date: April 18, 1997, 9pm. Paul: "I'd have taken a Wednesday night 3am slot in a parking lot in the South Bronx... if you let us on we'll give you something special."

• They did some co-promotion on WWF Raw for the PPV! Raw returned to the Manhattan Center and had ECW guys there. It's weird seeing them in the technicolor WWF ring. The fucking bWo were even there - a parody of a WCW act from ECW on WWF TV! Sabu "fell off the R" of the Raw set. Jerry Lawler hugely disagreed with crucial TV time going to another company and hated the ECW guys' attitude. He thought they looked small and Tazz gave him shit for saying "He looks a lot bigger on the Lucky Charms box."

• Finally their first PPV comes around - Barely Legal. Buffone gave Paul MAJOR credit for sticking with guys like him and Joey in the face of PPV company interference. RVD only wrestled in place of an injured Chris Candido and cut a good promo on his frustrations. Post neck injury Tazz had a shoot fighter gimmick that Paul tried to build a big fight atmosphere around. His match with Sabu here was important for establishing it. Tazz: "We made each other in that match". In another great Funk impression Stevie recalls confiding in Terry about his shock at being in the main event. Funk won the ECW Title in "the impossible dream". Paul put over how well deserved and emotional it was.

Moles, creativity and appropriation 

• Before Raven left for WCW Tommy FINALLY beat him. Raven's exit led to suspicions about Todd Gordon being a mole. Paul found a conversation on his phone with Terry Taylor and Bill Alfonso allegedly about having ECW invade WCW. Todd was fired. Fonzy nearly was too but he had a crazy match with Beulah that saved his job. He bled like a pig. Bubba Ray Dudley stepped up to help backstage. Lots of people did - Dreamer and D-Von drove merch to venues and mailed it out, Stevie dealt with tickets and the ECW Hotline, Tazz designed merch.

• Paul was big on creative freedom and being accessible. Tazz on directions he'd get: "Go out, talk about so and so and, you know... do it." He called the locker room "land of the misfit toys" - it was everybody let go by other promotions. Prime example: Al Snow. "The best thing for me about ECW was I found Head." *whit-woo*. He was talking to himself and it wasn't getting over, so he talked to a mannequin head instead. Paul always wanted to do a rave style entrance, so he capitalised by giving fans Styrofoam heads to use under strobe lights when Al came out. His excitement for this gimmick is palpable. "And people would be BOBBING with the heads!"

• There's talk of WCW and WWF ripping off ECW with the Uncensored PPVS and Attitude respectively. Foley thinks there's some truth to it - he got lots of ECW chants when he first came in but as the WWF style got more physical it got more associated with them. Some good points, but one that gets my goat is implying ECW led to the Hell in a Cell because they did Scaffold Matches - they were done loads in the NWA years before ECW. Vince says the WWF Attitude was more verbal than ECWs.

Tazz, The Dudleys and TNN

• Tazz really ascended to the top and gushes over his 98 feud with Bigelow, especially when they go through the ring causing in his first loss. This lead to Tazz's FTW (Fuck The World) vanity belt, central to him getting the ECW Title. The Dudleys are also cited as a crucial act, fearless antagonists people would pay money to see beaten. Great clips of Heat Wave 99: "We got a mom who taught her daughter how to suck dick".

• Paul knew when it became difficult to pay talent and veterans like Bigelow left that they needed national TV to get more sponsors/income. Cue talk of bounced checks: Lance Storm broke his verbal contract when he had three in a row. Dreamer went unpaid for SIX MONTHS at one point. "Our greatest asset was also our greatest detriment, and that was Paul."

• They still got on TV with TNN though! Hence they got T-Shirt, DVD and video game deals. Vince thought "good for Paul" but warned he needed to broaden his audience. RVD was relieved for fans because they wouldn't need to work hard to find the show like with syndication. However, soon after the WWF signed Tazz and The Dudleys. Note: at no point is it called a "raid". RVD thought it was an issue that individuals grew faster than the company.

• Vince calls Tazz "Suplex King, all that stuff". Tazz left because reaching the top of the card in ECW gave him a sense of "now what?" In classic ECW booking, he was the first eliminated in a three way dance to lose his title. The whole locker room came out to send him off. When WWF made The Dudleys an offer, they told Paul "they called", offering him a chance to convince them to stay. He could only say "I can't compete with them and I can't compete with their money". They go through their final night in ECW, shockingly winning the Tag Titles only to lose them to Dreamer and a returning Raven. D-Von calls it his most memorable ECW match.

The network, Van Dam and the sinking ship

• Buffone was mad that despite being TNN's top show they were just a lead in to "whatever that stupid rollerblading show was". They had a horrible deal - little commercial time or money, TNN sending back music videos, banning "hate" etc. Paul said they were guinea pigs for wrestling on TNN. He was pissed at the lack of promotion and even MORE pissed when they bought the rights to WWF Raw. "We're dead!"

• RVD was basically ECW's only major asset left. Paul said he was different because he didn't need hatred to make him an attraction. He was TV Champion for 23 months, making it match the ECW Title for prestige, but broke his leg and had to forfeit the title.

• In another blow, ECW Champion Mike Awesome broke his contract to join WCW. They had to get an injunction to stop him bringing the belt to Nitro to throw in the trash. Interestingly WWF sent Tazz to an ECW house show to beat Awesome for the belt - a WWF guy beat a WCW guy for the ECW Title. The next week Tazz was on Smackdown with the title and lost to WWF Champion Triple H. Vince said that didn't speak well when he was trying to help ECW. 

Dun-nuh-nuh nuh-nuh-nuh nuh-nuh-nuh nuh-nuh-neeeerh
IT'S TAZZ!

The fall

• More trolling from Bischoff - ECW was destined to be a small, "regional, in many ways" promotion. Under this shit TV deal they couldn't negotiate with new networks before TNN announced acquiring Raw. Dreamer said it was unlikely they'd be picked up when it looked like they were about to sink. RVD knew it was over when he was owed so much money he knew he'd never get it back. Bubba on the downfall: "The violence had a lot to do with it." He agrees with D-Von that Paul was a poor businessman. Paul insists if they'd have found a new network they'd have survived.

• Paul then recalls going to WWF: "Anybody who didn't make the next step would be in denial." Two things stuck out for him: JR assuring him he'll be fine, and saying a line when Trish Stratus stripped in the ring for Vince that made everyone at Gorilla GASP. "They got a sense of who they had and I got a sense of what ceiling I shouldn't be crashing through." Bubba and Vince agree that Paul working for someone else meant he didn't get what he wanted, but Vince praises his character for wanting to stay in the business despite bankruptcy.

"Hey Ma, I came to Washington D.C. and I'm about to see Bush!"

• Closing thoughts include Jericho's awe at people worldwide knowing about ECW and still chanting it, Dreamer calling it a great proving ground for success, and Stevie saying the company's success transcended any one moment. Paul says you can't fear failure if you want to succeed. He admits he's a failure but that's part of the fun as it makes you more dangerous next time round. We then fade to black with ECW chants echoing out.

Final Verdict: Overall this was a seminal documentary in terms of depth and breadth of material. We did get some typical "rewrite history in WWE's favour" - WWF sabotaged ECW getting on national TV by signing their World and Tag Champions and signed lots of their talent over the years, but ignore that, here's how WCW raided ECW's talent. 

But it was good to see people who weren't with WWE at the time like Sabu, Sandman, Raven, Douglas, Mikey and Funk still get profiled and put over. I learnt so much watching this, and enjoyed the hell out of it. Seriously, this documentary is so entertaining I've shown this to VERY casual fans in the past and we've had a great laugh at the impressions, stories and clips of infamous moments. 

Heyman is the MVP of this set, often hilarious and passionate, but others like Stevie and Tazz also offer lots of interest, and Dreamer is especially useful for a history lesson or two.

Go seek this out, especially if you aren't too familiar with ECW.

Stick Or Twist: WWE Backlash 2004

WWE Backlash 2004

18th April 2004

Rexall Place, Edmonton, Alberta, Canada

Attendance: 13,000

* The opening video recounts the Wrestlemania XX main event, talking about lightning in a bottle. HBK: "Lightning won't strike in he same place twice, but I will."

Match 1: Shelton Benjamin vs World Tag Team Champion Ric Flair

Nice "Vince, my Dad says hi" sign in the crowd. They recap Shelton beating Triple H TWO WEEKS IN A ROW with a fluke roll up then a count out. Urgh, they've overdubbed Naitch's theme song. OMG, JR says Flair won his first major singles title THE YEAR SHELTON WAS BORN!!! Flair demands the ref holds the ropes open, and when he holds the lowest two he tells him to do it properly. JR calls it "Mind... games"

Shelton takes down Flair early but Naitch isn't fussed and struts. Benjamin takes the piss out of his hair slicking and slaps Flair, who flops. Guess what Ric's offence is mostly? Yep, chops. He dodges a Stinger Splash but Shelton balances on the top rope leading to... nothing. Lots of leapfrogs and a dropkick, shitcanning Naitch and back dropping him outside. Flair begs off to thumb the eye. Naturally he fails going up top, but avoids another dropkick (looking nackered). Figure Four... roll up counter! Gets 2. Naitch: "NOOOOO!" Shelton: "Yeah."

Shelton with mounted punches, but when the ref forces the break Flair zones in on the leg and gets the Figure Four. It gets a near fall, then Flair rolls through Shelton's counter to get the ropes. Naitch goes for a chair but the ref stops him. King: "What the hell's the referee doing?" JR: "What do you mean...? What do you want him to bring in, a bazooka?" Enzughiri by Benjamin causes another Flair flop, then he hits a dragon whip kick. Shelton whips Flair to the corner, and he slips off the apron trying to Flair bump out of it. He gets suplexed back in, only to beg off to hit a HUGE chop. He goes up top again, then decides against it and somehow finds brass knucks, but a Stinger Splash and top rope clothesline gives Shelton the 3 and the win!

Winner: Shelton Benjamin

Verdict: 5/10. Generic "Flair on autopilot trying to get the face over" match that did little to get over Shelton's great athleticism, with a finish that came from nowhere in a bad way. Meh.

* Todd Grisham asks Intercontinental Champion Randy Orton if that loss is a bad sign for Evolution. Randy says "So what?" - he's the longest reigning IC champ in seven years, has beaten legend after legend and tonight he puts Mick Foley in retirement for good. Todd then wonders if he's scared but Orton says he's seen what Foley's capable of and will show a side of himself we've never seen before. He'll put Foley out of his misery like an old, sad, toothless dog.

Match 2: Jonathan Coachman vs Tajiri

We see a recap of Coach getting the mist in the face from Tajiri, then costing him a match against Christian. Tajiri is non-specifically billed as being "from Japan". Cheers.

WTF Coach gets an arm drag and standing switch to start! King: "He's been training for this match by watching the Three Stooges videos." He teases a knuckle lock but Tajiri starts kicking so he bails and lures him into kicking the post outside. Coach then works the leg (second straight match - dammit D'Lo)  with a shinbreaker and leg grapevine. A second shinbreaker is countered to a sunset flip by Tajiri for 2, but Coach reapplies the grapevine using the ropes. Tajiri eventually escapes with a kick to the face. Coach unwisely goes up top, ends up in a reverse tree of woe, and Tajiri hits a sick dropkick to the back of his head. Somehow Coach got the ropes during the cover though.

Tajiri keeps control with a hand spring elbow and kicks. Coach blocks a monkey flip to cover with his feet on the ropes but the ref caught him. TARANTOOLA! Hey, Garrison Cade comes out, knocks out Tajiri with a right hand behind the ref's back, and Coach rolls him up for 3! JR: "The sky is falling here."

Winner: Jonathan Coachman
Verdict: 3/10. Well Coach didn't totally embarrass himself, but he didn't really do anything remarkable either. This is only worth watching to see Tajiri kick the fuck out of him.

*The video package for the handicap match covers Christian being mad at Y2J hitting on Trish, then beating him at Mania and getting Trish too. Trish: "I'm a three time Babe of the Year, you're not even in my league." Y2J: "Wasn't Babe a talking pig?" The idea of the match is Christian will beat Jericho up so Trish can pin him.

Match 3: Handicap Match - Trish Stratus & Christian vs Chris Jericho

King ages this show by comparing Christian and Trish to Jessica Simpson and Nick Lachey. JR admonishes King for focusing on Trish's boobs, but King insists he was talking about her eyes. JR: "You don't even know she has feet!"

Y2J socks Christian and chases Trish, hitting a baaack body drop when Cap tries to intervene. TONNES of slut chants towards Trish. Big suplex and "C'MON BABY!" cover gets 2, as does a top rope reverse elbow after a springboard dropkick. Christian reverses a whip and Jericho collides with Trish, knocking her off the apron! The look on her face is priceless. Christian gets the advantage with a gordbuster onto the ropes and knocks Y2J off the apron into the barricade as fans chant CLB at him. Tag to Trish, who slaps Jericho while Christian holds him, then hits a chick kick. Chris tries to grab her, so she tags Christian, who hooks a RESTHOLD.

King: "Trish is an earth sign and Jericho's a water sign, so together they'd have made mud." Y2J blocks a dropkick and tries the Walls. When Cap kicks him off Jericho bounces off the buckles and inadvertently headbutts his bollocks! Trish wants the tag, giving a big cleavage shot. King: "Lean over a little more Trish, be a bit more concerned." Trish confuses Christian over whether she really wants the tag, causing Jericho to get near falls from a roll up and a sleeping neckbreaker. He counters a reverse DDT (that JR calls an Unprettier, naturally) with a Northern Lights suplex for 2.

Chris winds up perched in the heel's corner countering a whip, so Trish socks him, allowing Cap to hit an elevate reverse DDT for 2. He runs into a Walls attempt. Trish tries to interrupt but gets taken to the woodshed!! But it only allows Christian to sneak in an Unprettier! He tags Trish - 1, 2... no! JR says Trish didn't weight enough for her cover to work - what a gent! Trish gets clotheslined down! Then a stereo clothesline has both men down. Jericho comes back with a rough rider and bulldog, only for the CLB to get the knees up on the Lionsault and hook a Texas Cloverleaf. Y2J escapes and tries the Walls, but hooks it on an interfering Trish instead! Cap rolls up Jericho - 1.. 2.. NO. Another Unprettier... countered to a catapult into Trish! Running enzughiri! 1... 2... 3!

Winner: Chris Jericho

Verdict: 8/10. Y2J & Christian are always sound together, and they were no different here, also working Trish into the match very well so that the face could get some revenge from Mania.

* Eugene is walking and reading the Divas magazine backstage. Not bad multitasking for someone who's supposedly mentally handicapped. Oh, he walks into the Divas locker room without realising and asks Gail Kim for an autograph. When she freaks out, Molly Holly sans wig interrupts, so Eugene freaks out over her hair and Molly does too. William Regal finally retrieves Eugene, apologises, then either gets offended or titillated (either way he had a great Les Dawson look on his face) before being shooed off.

Oo-er missus

* Oh boy, it's Chris Benoit Day in Edmonton, so they run a video package of his homecoming featuring clips of his (then) forthcoming DVD set. Oh Jesus one of his mates says any child can look up to Chris Benoit and what he's done. Yeah, I'd skip this.

Match 4: WWE Women's Championship Match - Victoria(C) vs Lita

Rare face vs face match here, and even rarer short term booking in giving the champion their biggest possible challenger.

They trade mat wrestling to start. Victoria jackknifes out of a headscissors, Lita bridges out only to get arm dragged. They slap hands out of respect and take a NASTY spill outside during a lock up. Both trade pins back inside - Victoria a backslide and Lita a shitty half nelson thing. More near falls trading sunset flip counters before Victoria powers Lita down and gets a standing moonsault for 2. King pointed out the vibrating dance Victoria did beforehand, and JR just thought she was shaking out of excitement. Victoria follows up a snap suplex with a nice surfboard, but just randomly gives up. She tries her airplane spin sidewalk slam but Lita counters nicely with a headscissors and builds momentum with clotheslines, a monkey flip and a nip up suplex. She then hits a far too slow headscissors and an awkward sleeper. Victoria gets the ropes and hangs her throat on the second rope, allowing her to hit her sidewalk slam for 2.

Victoria goes up for a moonsault but Lita BARELY rolls out of the way, getting near falls from a jackknife cover and reverse Twist of Fate. Both women fight for a backslide, but eventually Victoria rolls up Lita for 3!

Winner: Victoria (still champion)

* Post match Gail and Molly (complete with her ridiculous blonde wig) run in to give the faces a pretty lame beat down, with fans chanting baldy at Molly.

Verdict: 6/10. Solid match. Lita was SOOOO sloppy and the match had a very exhibition style feel to it with it being face vs face, but it was very watchable.

* The IC Title match is profiled next. Orton says in 2000 Foley was the hardcore legend, but in 2004 he's Orton's bitch, and accepts Mick's challenge of a hardcore match with Evolution banned from ringside. We also see clips of Mick's EXCELLENT promo in the rocking chair, saying he felt hardcore wasn't about plunder but loving the fans enough to go through the pain. He watched his old matches after his Mania performance disappointed him...

He faced men who had honour unlike Orton...

                     

Match 5: Hardcore Match for the Intercontinental Championship - Randy Orton (C) vs Mick Foley

Orton has a trash can full of plunder and a totally SHIT barbed wire 2x4. King on Mick's entrance: "The sounds of a car wreck, how appropriate." Foley has a REAL barbed wire bat. The wire unravels from Orton's, so he scrambles for the can in fear but Mick beats it away with the bat and chases him around ringside, knocking a cameraman down. Eventually Orton lures Mick into a drop toehold into the steps. Both wrestle for control of "barbie" to big Foley chants. JR: "I can see Orton playing with Barbie." When they reach a stalemate they BATTER each other with the crumpled can instead. JR says Mick's at his lowest weight since 1989! He looks in great shape. King: "You got nothing better to do before a match than to ask Mick Foley how much he weights? Why didn't you ask him what he's going to do to Randy Orton?"

Back inside Mick hits a million dollar knee lift and legdrop for 2, then baseball slide dropkicks Randy to the outside and hits a neckbreaker on the floor. He goes for a second rope elbow but Orton rolls away towards the ramp, and when Foley gives chase Randy back suplexes him on it! That gets a near fall along with a backslide(!), then Orton again drops the back of Mick's head on the ramp, stiffs him and sends him to the steps. Back in, he tries maiming Foley with barbie, but it's blocked and Foley mule kicks his balls! Socko! He calls for the Mandible Claw, but barbie catches his eye, so he polls the crowd over which to use. King: "Whatever will do the most damage." Naturally barbie won, and he clobbers Orton in the head with it, busting him open. Elbow drop with the bat! Flurry of rights (Bang bang!) then the knee before he grinds the wire into Orton's face. He looks mortified. Mick gets Randy to straddle the bat, then legdrops it into his balls!!

Foley's found gasoline and DOUSES BARBIE IN IT! JR: "Somebody stop this... No Holds Barred my ass!" JR gets his wish as Bischoff comes out saying the Fire Marshall will shut the show down if Mick lights the bat. He listens and hits Randy with a baking tray instead. JR: "Cactus Jack not even going for a cover. I think it's obvious what's on the mind of this incarnation of Mick Foley." OMG he finds a BACKBOARD COVERED IN BARBED WIRE!!! Crowd: "Holy shit!" JR: "My sentiments exactly." Cactus tries knocking Randy into it from a head of steam, but Orton throws powder in his eyes and POWERSLAMS HIM ONTO THE BOARD! Jesus, Mick's arm gets really cut when he rolls off. Cover gets 2. Orton props the board in the corner. After several teased counters he whips and dropkicks Mick into it then drops it over him. MASSIVE Foley chants as Randy empties THUMBTACKS onto the canvas. He tries an RKO... and Foley throws him off into the tacks!!!

Tacks are all down his back, really embedded in his arm and one's even on his chest! Foley covers. 1... 2... NO! JR: "Randy Orton, I didn't think he was tough enough to kick out, but he is." Randy crawls out to pull tacks from his hands, and Foley chases him to the back, no doubt to help him get more tacks out. They soon return and Mick throws Orton off the stage through some wooden pallets!!! Loads of trainers check on him. King on Foley: "This man does not belong in our profession, JR... he's sick, twisted, warped." Mick teases letting the officials usher him away, but instead twats them and runs off the stage to elbow drop Orton!!! JR: "We are witnessing a human demolition derby!" Cover - 1, 2... NO!! Smattering of ECW chants as Mick takes Randy back to the ring. Double arm DDT! 1, 2... Orton kicks out!

Foley props up the board again, but Orton batters him with barbie. He winds up a big shot... but tastes Socko! Randy's stuck in the Mandible Claw, but uppercuts Mick in the balls. Fondly tries the claw agaRKOOUTTANOWHERE!!! 1... 2... NO! The ref counted a thumb tack into his hand. RKO INTO THE BARBED WIRE BAT! 1, 2, 3!

Winner: Randy Orton (still champion)

JR: "We said before this started this would be a slobber knocker and this was the damnedest slobber knocker I've ever seen. The bloody Intercontinental Champion took everything Cactus Jack had." Flair and Batista come to collect Orton because he can barely walk.

Verdict: 9.5/10. Stellar match putting Orton over big time, well and truly legitimising him. We'll not see this level of violence in a WWE ring again. There were great homages to classic Foley moments and his matches with Triple H. Foley was in really good shape and put in a phenomenal performance, I was sad he didn't stick around after this feud, he could have been really useful in such great shape.

I remember in school one of my mates essentially shat on wrestling for being a bunch of pussies pretending to hit each other, then I showed him this match and he really got into it an I think he gained a bit more respect for wrestling. This is one of my all time favourite matches.

* We get an ad for John Cena's Word Life DVD. I miss the days when midcarders would get sets like this to test their popularity. John Morrisson was the last person I remember them trying it with.

* King gets on JR's case asking if he's finally a believer in Orton: "If Randy Orton went out and walked on water you'd say 'Oh look, Orton can't swim.'" He gets pissed when all JR says is he's "tougher than a $2 steak". When JR finally concedes he may be the greatest IC Champ ever we see Triple H congratulate Orton backstage, saying he's a legend and he's proud. Grisham then asks what his chances are in the main event. Hunter says don't bet against him, taunting the crowd saying it'd be sweet to pin Benoit on Chris Benoit Day.

Match 6: Number One Contender's Match - La Resistance (Sylvain Grenier & Rob Conway) vs Rosey & The Hurricane

Good luck following that one lads. Rosey's still a Superhero in Training (SHiT, get it?). Conway and Hurricane chain wrestle to start, Conway getting a hip toss. JR: "Conway grows up in rural Kentucky, moves to Quebec and becomes a French sympathiser... you won't hear that in any country song." Headscissors by Helms, with Rosey flattening Rob and hip tossing Hurricane onto him for 2. Sylvain distracts Helms climbing the ropes, so Conway gets a one man Magic Killer over the ropes. Tag to Grenier, who gets a backbreaker for 2. JR & King do a real WCW job by still talking about Foley vs Orton.

Sylvain hooks a bearhug and Eugene comes out to walk round ringside. Rosey tags in with huge slams and a Samoan Drop for 2. Blind tag to Helms as Rosey double clotheslines the heels and Eugene plays peek-a-boo around the Quebec flags. Rosey's corner splash misses but Hurricane shitcans Grenier and dives onto La Resistance from the top to the outside. Eugene gets in the ring, so JR & King worry he'll copy Hurricane, but he just runs the ropes. Helms is all "WTF?" and brawls with Conway. Regal finally retrieves Eugene. In the distraction Helms hits the Eye of the Hurricane for 3.

Winners: The Hurricane and Rosey

Verdict: 3.5/10. A bit of bollocks really. The teams never got a chance to develop a cohesive match, and with Eugene coming out and commentary talking about the previous match you couldn't care. 

* They show the statue of Wayne Gretzky outside Rexall Place, King quipping "He looks like he's in a hardcore match about to hit someone with that trophy".

We then see clips of Edge botching the fuck out of spearing Bischoff on his return, confronting Kane for some reason with his "broken hand" (Kay-fabe!) and Bischoff's assistant Johnny Nitro telling him he'll be disqualified and suspended if the ref catches him using his cast in the match. Man, I didn't get this angle. I'm sure it was an effort to even Edge's chances against Kane, but he'd literally just got back from injury, so to give him an injury angle so soon after returning just made him look piss poor. Or was the injury legit?

Match 7: Kane vs Edge

Edge doesn't get that good a reaction considering it's Canada and his first match in 14 months. In a nice touch he's got laceless boots and no elbow pads because of his "broken hand". Oh God, Earl Hebner is the ref, so fans distract themselves chanting "You screwed Bret".

Edge's punches don't seem to phase Kane, who hooks a double arm choke and slams him hard. Kane goes after the hand but Edge escapes with a reverse elbow and second rope clothesline. King: "I remember when Kane made JR stand for Just Roasted, do you remember that?" JR: "I sure do. *sad panda*". Edge wants a spear but Kane rolls out, so Edge baseball slides and posts him, then sets up the Spanish table but gets uppercutted and his hand sent to the post and steps. Kane does further damage in ring. Edge rakes the eyes to escape an overhand wrist lock (heelish) only to get sidewalk slammed.

Kane misses an elbow and Edge regains the advantage with a flying forearm and spin wheel kick. He threatens using the cast but eats a big boot. Kane goes for the top rope clothesline but Edge ducks. Edge-ucator! But he doesn't cover... and Kane sits up. He tries the spear but Kane rolls away as does Earl, who nearly got hit. Goozle! But with the ref still out of the ring, Edge gets a low blow ("THAT'S MY PURSE! I DON'T KNOW YOU!"), a cast shot, then the spear for the 3.

Winner: Edge

Verdict: 4/10. Like the last match, the crowd were out of it, just chanting for Bret, and having face Edge TWICE cheat to win didn't enthuse them either. This really hurt what was an average match at most.

* JR accidentally spits on King selling the main event and apologises. It's billed as "The Final Encounter" just like Shane vs Kane at the Series the year before, to indicate this is a feud ender. The video package simply talks up last month being the greatest Mania main event ever, and this will be the greatest rematch in history.

Main Event: The Final Encounter Triple Threat World Heavyweight Championship Match - Chris Benoit (C) vs Shawn Michaels vs Triple H

JR puts over HHH huge as a combo of Harley Race, Jack Brisco and Flair. Most of Edmonton still haven't forgiven Shawn for Montreal. King says deep down in his heart he can't see HBK winning. Cheers! Way to put over the challengers. Benoit gets in both their faces with the belt raised, drawing huge pops. Shawn appears to argue with some bald dickheads in the front row.

Much like Mania, Benoit and Michaels both go after Hunter. Chris initially gives HBK a little chop to tell him to fuck off, but then lets him help on a double back body drop. Shawn shitcans HHH and chops Benoit (you idiot). Benoit retaliates with a chop that sends Shawn's gum out of his mouth. Backdrop countered to a neckbreaker by Michaels as one fan raises an "I forgive you Shawn" sign. Well 1 out of 13,000 is a start I guess. Hunter comes back with a high knee to Shawn and sends Benoit out. He lowers his head on a whip and HBK hits a reverse atomic drop. Then SHAWN lowers his head on a whip and has to escape a Pedigree attempt. Benoit is back with Germans and chops for both. Shawn chops him in a corner but gets turned inside out on a whip for his troubles.

H tries a second rope... jump, and ends up in the crossface! Benoit spots Shawn so break the hold to knock him down and send him to the barricade. Hunter cuts the Crippler off up top to chants of "You tapped out" and "Let's go Benoit", but Shawn breaks up the superplex, resulting in Benoit falling face first to the outside! He gets an electric chair on Hunter for 2. "Shawn screwed Bret" chants as he falls prey to a facebreaker. Headbutt by Benoit! 1, 2... H breaks it up but winds up shitcanned. Shawn tries a flying forearm but Benoit ducks and it hits the ref! Hunter tries to Pedigree Benoit... countered to a Sharpshooter at the second time of asking. Crossface to an interfering HBK. Chris realises the ref's still down and tries reviving him, but this allows Michaels to lock in the Sharpshooter! And out comes Earl Hebner, tolololol!!!  He broke the hold when Trips tried to interfere though. 

HUGE "You screwed Bret" chants that Shawn sells with great disdain. He winds up in the crossface! Hunter breaks it up and DDTs Benoit for 2. JR: "Triple H has silenced this crowd."... who then promptly chant "You tapped out". Benoit whips Hunter over the top but gets clotheslined by Shawn for 2. He grabs Benoit by the trunks and pulls him outside to avoid more chops, then goes up top... but both Hunter and Benoit duck the crossbody and Shawn goes through the Spanish table!!! Triple H posts Benoit, sends him to the steps and, back in the ring, sends him to the post shoulder first. Nice Canadian twang to the "asshole" chants Trips receives. King: "They've got a lot of class but it's all low." Camel clutch by Hunter. FUCK HIS ASS AND MAKE HIM HUMBLE! He beats up Benoit for trying to power out and mounts him in the corner only to get flapjacked into the buckle.

Facebreaker by Trips, but Benoit ducks the clothesline and hits the triple Germans! Throat slash! Headbutt... HHH moved! Pedigree! It takes forever but he covers. 1... 2... HBK breaks it up!! He slugs it out with Hunter and slaps him to dare him to keep going. Flying forearm, nip up and slam to MAJOR heat. Top rope elbow! Shawn's tuning up the band... and kicks Benoit, who's just got on the apron! Low blow by Hunter 1, 2... no! Pedigree... HBK backdrops H over the top, but oh look, he found a sledgehammer. King: "Man's best friend... or at least Triple H's." Shawn's trying to drag Benoit back in the ring so Hunter clobbers him square between the shoulders with the hammer! He tries to finish him ala Summerslam 02, but Benoit pulls him out, paying for it by being sent to the steps.

Trips tries to Pedigree Benoit on the steps, but Chris catapults him to the post, sending him over the rail into the first row!! HBK's tuning up the band waiting on Benoit to get back in... but the Sweet Chin Music is countered to the Sharpshooter!!! Shawn tries to get the ropes but is pulled back, and just as Hunter agonisingly crawls in the ring SHAWN TAPS! TO THE SHARPSHOOTER! IN CANADA!!!

Winner: Chris Benoit (still champion)

Verdict: 9/10. Perhaps just a shade below their Mania effort, but still a pretty remarkable match. The dynamic of Shawn being hated in Canada and it distracting him was well used, especially his selling mid match and gave it a different feel. The finish was great, not just as attempted Montreal appeasement but so Benoit could say he made DX tap to both his trademark holds. Thumbs still way up.

Final thoughts: This was a pretty tough one to call. There was a fair bit of stuff that was varying degrees of worthless (Flair vs Shelton, Coach's match, the tag match, Edge's return) but on the bright side there were two outright classics in the IC title match and main event, along with another really good effort from Christian and Y2J and a pretty solid Women's title match. Similar to last month's Pay Per View, if you're really uncomfortable watching Benoit post double murder suicide you probably want to avoid this show - being his homecoming it's pretty much a Benoit lovefest. However, if you can put up with that or desensitise yourself from it  I'd give this show a mild recommend. DEFINITELY check out Orton vs Foley, it's this show's saving grace.

Final Verdict: STICK (only just)