My Favourite Albums of 2012 Part 2

Right, let's pick up where we left off shall we? For those who missed part one, you can find it here.

5. Neil Young & Crazy Horse - Psychedelic Pill

Psychedelic Pill kicks off with the epic, 28 minute long "Driftin' Back". That sentence alone will probably be enough for you to decide whether this album is for you or not. Personally I love just being absorbed by Neil and the Horse's longer stuff and getting lost in my own world listening to it.

Having written his memoir Waging Heavy Peace, Psychedelic Pill finds Neil in a rather reflective mood.

On "Driftin' Back", he muses over the state of recorded music today ("When you hear my song, You only get five percent. You used to get it all") and how the advent of MP3's has killed sound quality. ("I used to dig Picasso, Then the big tech giant came along and turned him into wallpaper."). As if the point needed hammering home further, the title track which follows features particularly harsh production making it sound like your speakers have turned to cloth when Neil sings (the alternative version at the album's end is a God-send.)

"Ramada Inn" explores how love can last after routine sets in (and seems to be in reference to his wife and disabled son), while album closer "Walk Like A Giant" mulls over the ravages of time and how fickle his generation were in their drive for change("Me and some of my friends, We we gonna save the world... But then the weather changed").

A ragged, stunning piece of work.

4. Cat Power - Sun

2012 was a bit of a mixed year for Chan Marshall, A.K.A. Cat Power, to say the least. Coping with turning 40, splitting from her long term boyfriend and then having to see him marry Agyness Dean, and cancelling tour dates due to her ill health. Although she now seems in good spirits thankfully, certainly she feels well enough to lampoon herself on Funny Or Die:

Kids Songs With Cat Power from Cat Power      

She also made herself bankrupt funding the making of Sun, a move which should hopefully pay off in the long run financially (it was her label Matador's first record to debut inside the Billboard Top 10) and at the very least has resoundingly paid off musically. 

Lead single "Ruin" is a lively affair with driving keys and drums, bemoaning materialism, while opener "Cherokee uses the same devices to illicit a more haunting and affecting sound ("If I die before my time, Bury me upside down"). The production on the whole is pretty uncharacteristic of her previous chanteuse-ish reputation and as mentioned above some songs have much more pace than her previous work, but her vocals are still those of a woman laid emotionally bare, "Manhattan" is a particular triumph in this regard.

Hopefully the catharsis of this record will help Chan move forward.

3. Beach House - Bloom

More dream pop excellence from Baltimore-based Beach House. The pair are the kind of band you always kind of expect to find in the shadows, and that mystique is maintained on this, their fourth record. From the echoey riffs of Alex Scally's guitar to the lofty vocals of Victoria Legrand, the hallmarks of the bands sound which they'd excelled in using on previous effort Teen Dream are all here on a record that is undoubtedly more of an evolution than a revolution. But as the old adage goes "If it ain't broke...".

The opening half of the record in particular is a terrific atmospheric experience, as one song gently follows on from the previous one and the care and attention put into the songs becomes evident. The wistfulness of "Lazuli" and "Other People" are to die for, while the likes of "Wild" come close to matching previous revelatory moments such as "Ten Mile Stereo".

It's still difficult to not get misty-eyed when listening to a Beach House record, and this album is certainly an example of "more of the same" doing no harm.

2. Richard Hawley - Standing At The Sky's Edge

I think this will now make it my third entry where I gush over this album and Richard Hawley, but the only time I'll stop gushing over Richard is when he stops being excellent and I don't anticipate that happening any time soon.

Having said that, Standing At The Sky's Edge will have undoubtedly caused some alienation amongst those that love him for him crooning, nostalgic romanticism. The album is much heavier than previous efforts. 

The crashing drums of "She Brings The Sunlight", the big riffs of "Down In The Woods" and "Leave Your Body Behind You" and the bleak subject matter of the title track (taking the perspective of several people in harsh circumstances in the titular area of Sheffield Sky Edge) are all enveloped in production that ranges from psychedelica to shoegaze and gives the album a much darker tone.

The record is undoubtedly, by Richard's own admission, his angry record, written mostly in light of his differences of opinion with our current Government. But Hawley finds time to be gentle, and dare I say it at times frisky, too. "Don't Stare At The Sun" is a lovely little ditty about riding kites with his son, with Richard's voice as touching as it was on the heights of Cole's Corner. "Seek It" also finds Hawley keen to show affection, "you won't find another's eyes so blinded by love" he croons.

You also get the best of both worlds in brilliant closer "Before", with Hawley's voice virtually segregated from the dramatic guitars so that it has space to shine. A marvellous record. 

1. Chromatics - Kill For Love

As much as I love Richard (and his album was my favourite of the year for so long), this is undoubtedly the record I've spent the most time this year obsessing over.

Despite having losing out to Cliff Martinez in the running to compose the soundtrack to 2011's brutal indie film hit Drive, 2012 still managed to be a high watermark year for Chromatics head honcho Johnny Jewel. "Tick Of The Clock", a track from the band's 2007 album Night Drive which wound up featured in Drive, continued to give the band some exposure via its appearance in HTC's ad-campaigns this year. In addition, Jewel's continued obsession with music in film despite missing out on the Drive gig eventually led to the creation of Kill For Love, an absolute masterpiece.

Although the band are primarily one of the leading lights in the Italo-disco revival, the scale of ambition on this record has generated a veritable Smorgasbord of electronic music that is sure to cater to all tastes. Subtly reworked classics (their excellent cover of Neil Young's "Into The Black"). The throbbing, pulsing synth-pop of the title track. The hazy balladeering of "The River" (lead singer Ruth Radelet absolutely shines on all of these tracks). The moving ambient sequence of "These Streets Will Never Look the Same" and "Broken Mirrors". All are prime examples of how large a catchment area the album possesses with respect to the ways in which electronic music can move you (figuratively and literally). 

Most importantly despite this variety, the different tracks never sound disparate and the album very much stands as one you get the most joy from listening as a whole. From start to finish, the experience you feel listening to this record is, well, cinematic. You feel songs are placed at certain points in the album because of how they fit the narrative as much as how they fit in sonically. If "Into The Black" were the pre-credits introduction and "Kill For Love" the opening credits, then "Back From The Grave" would be the first plot point.

In addition to being a band of stunning artistry, they are also a band of stunning generosity. On Jewel's Soundcloud page not only will you find a stream of the album in full (which you can listen to below, or here if the embedding messes up), but also a download for outtakes from the album's sessions, and he's also made a drumless version of 11 of the albums tracks available here.

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So there you have it. It turned out to be a pretty cracking year for music. Here's to 2013, and Merry Christmas!

My Favourite Albums of 2012 Part 1

I wasn't particularly optimistic at the start of the year, but 2012 has turned out to be quite a good year for new music. In fact I don't think I've heard and liked so much new music in one year since Spotify launched and changed my listening habits forever.

It was quite difficult to pick out which albums from this year have been my favourites, but I think I've finally narrowed things down. Note the distinction: favourites. I don't necessarily think these are the absolute, definitive, ten best albums from this year, just the ones I've enjoyed most.

Before we get to it, a few honourable mentions for albums that just fell short:

Wild Nothing - Nocturne: These guys sound like a band that've listened to a lot of New Order, gloomy baselines ahoy!
Grizzly Bear - Shields: The likes of "Yet Again" and "Sun In Your Eyes" are just irresistible.
Jack White - Blunderbuss: Possibly the most consistent record White has ever made.

So, onto numbers 10 to 6...

10. Jessie Ware - Devotion

Even more so than usual it seemed pop was a dirty word in 2012: a word which tarred you with the same brush as chart dross like Tulisa, Bieber and Wand Erection... sorry I mean One Direction. But if anyone proved pop shouldn't be a bad word this year, it was Jessie Ware.

A true class act in every sense of the word, this year saw the former Jack Penate and SBTRKT cohort step into the limelight with a smooth, thoroughly modern album mixing smooth RnB, heartfelt soul and lo-fi electronica. Her voice is undoubtedly the star on this record. Though not a woman without ambition (as she divulged in an interview with The Fly, "why do you think I wrote a song called Running in an Olympic year?"), the restraint she shows on songs such as the delightful "Night Light" as far as when here vocals should veer from ethereal to powerful is truly masterful.

Blows the pop "music" this other bird called Jessie makes right out of the water.

 

 9. Frank Ocean - Channel Orange

Before the release of Channel Orange, the album, or more specifically its creator Frank Ocean, was making headlines around the world. Frank posted an extract from the album's sleeve notes on his Tumblr page and in the process came out as a gay man. It was a brave decision for a man who walked in circles which are often deemed macho-ist and at worst misogynist. That same bravery is reflected in this record and results in the record living up to the maelstrom of expectation Frank's open letter on his sexuality created.

Ocean delivers sugar sweet Stevie Wonder soul on ballads such as "Thinkin' 'Bout You" and "Forrest Gump", fuses modern day electro-funk and classic Prince on the likes of album centrepiece "Pyramids", and features top guest-spots from Earl Sweatshirt ("Super Rich Kids") and Andre 3000 ("Pink Matter").
As if there were any doubt Ocean was going to take off big time this year, he would give a star-making performance of "Bad Religion" on Late Night With Jimmy Fallon and take the song's tale of love unrequited to even further heights.
An album we'll be talking about for years to come.

8. Alt-J - An Awesome Wave

Take four nerds from Leeds who uproot to Cambridge, add in obsessions with Luc Besson, Sergio Leone and Maurice Sendak, sprinkle smidgens of folk, Massive Attack style trip-hop, artsy keys and smart riffs and what do you get? This year's Mercury Prize winners, and a lo-fi indie delight.

With the appreciation of space of The XX but without the starkness, the occasional menace of James Blake without the occasional ear-piercing lack of comfort and the inventiveness of Wild Beasts but with added innocence ("Tessellate" is my new favourite euphemism), An Awesome Wave's diverse influences come together as an impressive whole. This album is far more approachable than its oddball mix of genres and approaches would suggest, and the bright and breezy (no pun intended) likes of "Something Good" will sneak up on you and stay in your head for weeks.

7. First Aid Kit - The Lion's Roar

I hadn't realised that Sweden had such a rich history in folk music until I read Little Star by John Ajvide Lindqvist. It's not a genre I'd necessarily have associated with Scandinavia, and yet in a crowded year for the genre Stockholm sisters Johanna and Klara Soderberg - better known as First Aid Kit - produced an album that soared above the competition.

With the Mumford-driven folk explosion, a lot of fuss had been made over authenticity within the genre, or rather the lack of it due to people attempting twee for the sake of it being in vogue. The Lion's Roar immediately dispels any such questions about First Aid Kit. Right from the opening title track the sisters really excel with their rich vocals which have the strength of character such that the songs become all that more tangible. The relative bleakness of the lyrics ("Oh the bitter winds are coming in, and I'm already missing the summer.") are balanced out by the warmth of the melodies, tender guitar play and the sun-kissed production.

Oh, and just to add to their credentials, Conor bloomin' Oberst turns up on album closer "King Of The World". An inspired second album.

6. Bruce Springsteen - Wrecking Ball

Springsteen is a man who prides himself on being a musician who documents "the distance between the American dream and American reality". Bruce can certainly consider Wrecking Ball as being "mission accomplished" in that regard: an album which is very much reflective of the climate we are in today and is probably Bruce's most relevant and pertinent record since The Rising.

Taking inspiration from another great American story teller, Woody Guthrie, and the rebellious nature of Irish folk (most obviously evident on "Death To My Hometown"), Wrecking Ball is in essence a protest record reflecting Bruce's anger at those few that frittered away the money of the many in the Wall Street collapse and who still have not been made accountable for their actions. "Gamblin' man rolls the dice, workin' man pays the bills" ("Shackled And Drawn"), "Send the robber barons straight to hell" ("Death To My Hometown"), "If I had me a gun I'd find the bastards and shoot 'em on sight" ("Jack Of All Trades"): safe to say, the bankers don't come off in a very good light in this album!

It would perhaps veer towards being a bit one-note, however the album is counter-balanced by a resilience of the characters in the songs despite the hard times. The title track, originally written to commemorate the now demolished Giants Stadium, is a perfect statement of defiance: "We know that come tomorrow, None of this will be here. So hold tight to your anger... And don’t fall to your fear". 

Closing tracks "Land Of Hope And Dreams" (an old E-Street standard dating from their first reunion in 1999, and featuring the dearly missed Clarence Clemons on saxophone) and "We Are Alive" (which lifts elements of Johnny Cash's "Ring Of Fire") even find resilience in death: in the former by taking solace in the fact that your suffering in this life will be redeemed in the next, and in the latter rallying those passed on "to carry the fire and light the spark" and assuring them of their legacy ("It's only our bodies that betray us in the end").

Proof that even at 63, an angry Bruce can still muster one heck of a fight.

1001 Albums Week 3: 222 and counting

Again, slightly behind when it comes to putting this in blog form, but I'm now over a fifth of the way there! Here's what I've been listening to in my third week.

•  Sepultura - Arise (Not these guys again! If there was such a thing as meat & potatoes metal these guys would be it)
• Pavement - Crooked Rain, Crooked Rain , Slanted & Enchanted

Much smarter than their slacker rock reputation would indicate, Pavement were a real treat. Slanted & Enchanted is a terrific debut, but they surpassed it with Crooked Rain, Crooked Rain. "Cut Your Hair", "Gold Sounds" and "5-4 = Unity" all being fantastic.

• Dinosaur Jr. - Bug, You're Living All Over Me

Predecessor You're Living All Over Me may not have made much impression, but 1988's Bug is just a perfect mesh of guitars that change from scuzzy riffs to heavenly hooks in a moment, and great vocals from J Macsis. "Pond Song" and "Freak Scene" in particular are sublime.

• Kraftwerk - The Man Machine

Great album, and another one of those where, upon listening to it, its influence on some of my favourite music is obvious. For example, I'm willing to bet James Murphy was listening to opener "The Robots" a fair bit when he came up with LCD Soundsystem's "Get Innocuous!"

• Red Hot Chilli Peppers - Califonication (I understand this is supposed to be the better record, but having grown up with By The Way I have to say I still prefer that.)

• Jane's Addiction - Nothing Shocking, Ritual De Lo Habitual

Their albums sleeves may be the definition of NSFW, but I found these two albums surprisingly to my taste. Nothing Shocking was the best, featuring the likes of "Mountain Song", while Ritual De Lo Habitual ran it pretty close, with "Caught Stealing" a particular highlight.

• The Doors - Morrison Hotel (The Doors never got dreamier than this, "Waiting For The Sun" in particular is just a delight to hear.)
• The Cure - Seventeen Seconds (Bit of a strange choice to put on the list when The Cure would go on to better this album many times over)
• X - Wild Gift (Seen these guys live supporting Pearl Jam. Nice bit of post-Ramones speed-punk)
• Animal Collective - Merriweather Post Pavillion (Really cool album, but stare at the sleeve for too long and your eyes will hurt!)

• Peter Gabriel - Peter Gabriel, Peter Gabriel 3

Am I getting old? How is it that I'm liking so much of Peter Gabriel's stuff!? In particular I loved "No Self Control" and "Game Without Frontiers" from Peter Gabriel 3, but for me Peter Gabriel is unquestionably my favourite. Not only does it have  the sublime "Solsbury Hill", but with the entire B-Side, from "Slowburn" to "Here Comes The Flood", I found myself being more consistently entertained that I ever thought I could be by a Peter Gabriel record!
I don't know why I've have this stigma with him. Guy Garvey loves him so maybe that should have sent me some warning signs that his work had more merit to it than I thought.

• The Stone Roses - The Stone Roses  

I want to hate The Stone Roses so much, but there's no denying there's some fantastic stuff here, the closing sequence from "Made Of Stone" to "I Am The Resurrection" being sublime.

• Buffalo Springfield - Buffalo Springfield Again (This was a real treat to find as a Neil Young fan. Cracking album)

• New Order - Low Life

Yet more New Order I wasn't familiar with? Crikey what's wrong with me? I enjoyed this even more than Technique, and I've now made it part of my record collection. In particular I loved the sequence of "Elegia", "Sooner Than You Think" and "Sub-Culture" on the B-side, each song bleeds into the other so elegantly you'd be forgiven they were part of one big song at times.

• Paul McCartney - McCartney (Can't quite top Band On The Run for his best post Beatles album, but this has plenty to offer, including "Maybe I'm Amazed")
• John Lennon - Imagine (Speaking of post- Beatles albums by a Beatle, here's possibly the best of the bunch.)
• Nick Drake - Five Leaves Left (Years of listening to Guy Garvey's radio show has made me more familiar with this guy than I thought. Sheer acoustic bliss.)

• Leonard Cohen - I'm Your Man, Songs Of Leonard Cohen

These two albums are definitely good cop/bad cop. I'm Your Man is definitely the bad cop, the production is almost unbearably dated, virtually ruining classics like "First We Take Manhattan". Songs Of Leonard Cohen, however, is just pure gold. It's unlikely I'll come across such an assured debut album for some time, "Suzanne" and "Teachers" being particular favourites.

• Steely Dan - Aja, Can't Buy A Thrill, Countdown To Ecstacy, Pretzel Logic/Donald Fagen - The Nightfly 

Other than Fagen's solo album I was really impressed with this stuff, Can't Buy A Thrill being my favourite. Was just expecting ANother band of troubadours but found them to be more interesting than that.

• Miles Davis - In A Silent Way (definitely my new favourite Miles record)
• Herbie Hancock - Headhunters (Something tells me Beck sampled one of the songs from here. Very innovative jazz record right here)
• David Bowie - Heroes (OK this is now my favourite of the Berlin trilogy, running Station To Station close for my favourite Bowie record too)

• Iggy Pop - The Idiot

Producer David Bowie's fingerprints run all over this album, made in Berlin during his Low/Lodger/"Heroes" period. Much of the success of this album is down to Iggy's charisma and unorthodox, almost spoken-word vocals, which give a fresh enough take on Bowie's excellent production to really differentiate it from anything either of them had done before.

Again, you can see how the likes of "NIghtclubbing" influenced LCD Soundsystem on "Somebody's Calling Me" (boy, James' attorneys really shouldn't read this!)

• Moby - Play (So many great childhood memories listening to this album)
• Fever Ray - Seven (Another of those albums I've had on a Spotify playlist for ages but couldn't remember if I'd heard the whole way through. Suitably freaky electro-noise from an alumnus of The Knife)
• Tracy Chapman - Tracy Chapman (Worth it for "Fast Car" and "Baby Can I Hold You" alone. Such a tremendous voice.)
• Terence Trent D'Arby - Introducing The Hardline According To Terence Trent D'Arby 

 Surprised to see this guy on the list, since he's basically just the answer to some obscure question in pub quizzes now. Turns out he did that song "Sign Your Name".

• Don McLean - American Pie (Not quite the one track album I was expecting. "Vincent" may sound familiar to you if you heard it. "Starry starry night...")
• Jefferson Airplane - Surrealistic Pillow (I was expecting  just another post-Byrds/ Beach Boys guitar band, I wasn't expecting this to be the band behind "Somebody To Love"!)

 

• Van Morrison - Astral Weeks (Sounds like Mick Jagger trying sub-standard bluegrass. Not a good first impression for Mr. Morrison)

• Eric Clapton - 461 Ocean Boulevard/ John Mayall's Bluesbreakers w/ Eric Clapton/ Cream - Disraeli Gears

Another example of what I'm now calling "the Radiohead effect": the further back in time I go, the more I like Clapton's stuff. 461 Ocean Boulevard was slightly disappointing and a bit hammy for me. His album with John Mayall was rather good, but best of the bunch was Disraeli Gears. Fantastic riffs throughout.

Other corkers I've heard which I found very much deserving of their place on the list are:

• The Who - My Generation
• Royksopp - Melody A.M.
• Elton John - Goodbye Yellow Brick Road
• Boston - Boston ("More than a feeeeeeeeeeliiiiiiiiiiiiiin'")
• Bad Company - Bad Co.
• Patti Smith - Horses
• Creedence Clearwater Revival - Cosmo's Factory
• Beck - Odelay

...while these albums that didn't make much impression on me either way were:

• Jethro Tull - Aqualung
• Slint - Spiderland
• John Coltrane - A Love Supreme
• Syd Barrett - The Madcap Laugh
• Siouxsie & The Banshees - Juju
• Stephen Stills - Stephen Stills 
• DJ Shadow - Endtroducing...
• Dire Straits - Brothers In Arms 
• Def Leppard - Hysteria
• Funkadelic - One Nation Under A Groove
• Fugazi - Repeater 
• Jamiroquai - Emergency On Planet Earth ("Do do do deeeeew do do dooo do do duuuuh")

Still got more to come, but lately I've been listening to Neil Young's latest album, "Psychedelic Pill" on repeat, so I've been going slower than usual. Come to think of it, next time out I'll probably talk favourite albums of the year. So hopefully see you then!

1001 Albums Week 2: 160 and counting!

I meant to write this last week, but I had other things keeping me busy, so I'm a bit behind on writing this stuff up. But I'm making tonnes of progress. Here's all the music I listen to in my second week.

• Lou Reed - Berlin, Transformer/The Velvet Underground -The Velvet Underground: 

Lots of Lou Reed based greatness between these three, The Velvet Underground probably being my favourite. Especially loved the way "Jesus" and "Beginning To See The Light" bleed into each other.

As for his solo stuff, Transformer had the better and more well known individual songs ("Satellite Of Love", "Perfect Day", "Vicious") but I think I enjoyed Berlin slightly more: it seemed to work more cohesively as an album and it felt fresher and quite different from The Velvet Underground stuff.

• Fleetwood Mac - Rumours: So many of the band's classics came from this album. I'll leave it to my good friend Murray Hewitt to explain why;

 

 (Love square! Gets me every time.)

• Iggy Pop - Lust For Life/The Stooges - The Stooges, Raw Power: Having never heard much stuff from Iggy & The Stooges, these albums were quite a treat. Lust For Life was easily the best of the bunch. Wasn't quite as keen on The Stooges though, the meandering "We Will Fall" robbed the album of the momentum it's opening three songs gave it.

• Aphex Twin - Selected Ambient Works 85-92: It seems the less freaky the album sleeve of an Aphex Twin release is, the less crazy the music in the album is. This just sort of passed me by really.

• Metallica - ...And Justice For All: I think I've reached the point now where all Metallica albums just sound the same - there's a whole bunch of riffs and crashing drums for a while, then James Hetfield screams something usually ending in "RRRREEEEEEEEAAGHHHHH!"

• Wilco - Yankee Foxtrot Hotel: This record is a stunningly understated masterpiece. The opening and closing tracks "I Am Trying To Break Your Heart" and "Reservations" in particular should be held up as an example of how to emote situations in music without succumbing to melodrama.

• Radiohead - Kid A, OK Computer, The Bends: 

I fucking hated Radiohead when I was younger. I still find them a bit pretentious now, and certainly upon listening Kid A struck me as a very "chin-stroking" sort of album.

However, the further back in time I went, the more stuff I enjoyed. OK Computer had some of their finer individual songs ("Airbag" and "No Surprises" being my favourites), but The Bends was definitely the record I most enjoyed. The main reason was because it was much heavier and more guitar dependent than the others. I used to find myself begrudging to give them any praise at all, but I can tell you I have no problem saying the likes of "Just", "High And Dry", "Fake Plastic Trees" and "Street Spirit (Fade Out)" are works of sheer brilliance.

• Manic Street Preacher - Everything Must Go: As a massive Manics fan I'm ashamed to admit I hadn't heard this album the whole way through until now. After the tragedy of Richey going missing never to be found, this record was a deserved breakthough into the mainstream. "Small Black Flowers That Grow In The Sky" in particular is a triumph.

• The Beatles - With The Beatles, A Hard Day's Night: Strange how I've never payed much attention to Beatles albums pre-Rubber Soul. Wasn't disappointed by either of these though, obviously. With The Beatles was the more interesting to hear, being much closer to their sound from the Cabin Club days.

• Beastie Boys - Paul's Boutique, Ill Communication: Perfect examples of what a creative force the Beasties were in hip hop. Despite the latter featuring "Sabotage", I felt Paul's Boutique blew Ill Communication out of the water, thanks to a greater variety of beats, pace, and some really neat samples (the use of the riff from "The End" by The Beatles being my favourite example).

• Neil Young & Crazy Horse - Everybody Knows That This Is Nowhere: I didn't think Neil had dabbled with the longer rockier stuff this early in his career (this was his second album). Yet another essential listen.

• Pretenders - Pretenders: Oh, so thaaaat's the song Scarlett Johansson does on karaoke in Lost In Translation!

Good stuff all round.

• Talking Heads - Fear Of Music, Remain In Light: More Songs About Buildings And Food had given me high expectations for the other Talking Heads albums on the list, and I wasn't disappointed. Fear Of Music was my favourite without question, with "Mind" and "Heaven" being standouts for me.

• David Byrne & Brian Eno - My Life In The Bush Of Ghosts: Very disappointing to say the least. I don't understand why, when you've got a voice as unique and quirky as Byrne's, you'd deliberately go out of your way to use it as little as possible on this record.

• Black Sabbath - Black Sabbath, Paranoid, Volume 4: Metal basically started with Black Sabbath. Their first album didn't make much of an impression on me, but Paranoid was much better, everything started to click a lot more and you could tell from the way the band played. Volume 4 might be my favourite though, just for fiddling with the formula a bit and going into new territory.

• Sepultura - Roots: I don't know what I was expecting a Brazilian heavy metal band to sound like, but it certainly wasn't a regular heavy metal band! Apart from using vocals from one of the tribes still living in the rain forests, which was cool. But other than that, pretty run of the mill.

• The Rolling Stones - Let It Bleed: 

 Fun fact, Delia Smith baked the cake on the cover of this record.

 

It couldn't quite top Exile On Main St. as my favourite Stones record, but it ran it pretty close. "Gimme Shelter" and "You Can't Always Get What You Want" are two of my favourite Stones songs, but "Midnight Rambler" was also brilliant and I was completely caught off-guard by "Country Honk" - essentially a bluegrass version of "Honky Tonk Women".

• Miles Davis - Kind Of Blue: This is more like my kind of jazz.

• David Bowie - Station To Station: I think I may have found myself a new favourite Bowie record. There's just no resisting the charm of "TVC-15".

• Led Zeppelin - I, II, III, IV, Physical Graffeti: Oh these lot were a right treat to go through. Very few groups had such a consistent run of records than Zeppelin did between I and IV. Physical Graffeti isn't quite in the same league, but still has its charms - "Kashmir" is an essential listen. III is probably my favourite, if you forced me to choose - "Immigrant Song", "Since I've Been Loving You", "Gallows Pole" and "Tangerine" being stand outs.

• Yes - The Yes Album, Fragile, Close To The Edge: Yeah sorry, but next to Zeppelin, this stuff just sounds pretentious and redundant.

• The Band - Music From The Big Pink: Near as dammit perfection here from Bob Dylan's old cohorts. "The Weight" in particular is sublime.

• Van Halen - 1984: Unashamedly cheesy, and I unashamedly like it. There's just some days when you can't beat a bit of Panama

 Other albums I heard and found to be thoroughly deserving of their place in the book were:

• Aretha Franklin - I Never Loved A Man The Way I Loved You (Oh lord what a voice!)
• Crosby Stills & Nash - Crosby Stills & Nash
• Grateful Dead - Live/Dead
• The Doors - The Doors
• The Police - Synchronicity ("Stong writes some good sings", tee hee)
• The Eagles - Hotel California
• The Yardbirds - The Yardbirds
• Love - Forever Changes
• U2 - The Joshua Tree, Achtung Baby
• Oasis - Definitely Maybe, What's The Story Morning Glory?
• The Ramones - The Ramones
• The Byrds - Sweetheart Of The Rodeo, Mr. Tambourine Man

 I'm now into my third week of the challenge and have made even more progress, which I'll let you know about in good time. But before then there's coursework to do!

1001 Albums Update: 101 and counting!

I know I said I probably wouldn't do any dedicated posts for this, but I've made a lot of progress already! Just as I thought, the magic of Youtube etc has made my task so much easier, and I've powered through a lot of stuff by listening along while working.

So, here's what I've been listening to this week:

• Neil Young - Rust Never Sleeps 

Albums like this make me miss the days when vinyl was king, and people would find creative ways to use the A side-B side format.

This is a prime example: side A is a largely acoustic affair in the vein of After The Goldrush ("Thrasher" and "Pocahontas" in particular were favourites of mine), while on side B, Neil and Crazy Horse plug their instruments in and play some heavier stuff. 

The only track to appear on both sides (and hence get both treatments), "Into The Black" is classic Neil Young (and all too infamous for being associated with Kurt Cobain's suicide).

• ACDC - Back In Black, Highway To Hell: Can't believe I've never listened to these before, so many classics between the two. "Shoot To Thrill", "You Shook Me All Night Long", "Girl's Got Rhythm".

• Soundgarden - Superunknown: Shocked how dated the production sounds on this - sounds a decade older than it should when you compare to what their contemporaries were doing. Still, some cracking stuff, "Black Hole Sun" and "Spoonman" probably the most famous examples.

• Metallica - Metallica (the black album), Master Of Puppets: Slightly surprised that I enjoyed Master Of Puppets more (Mastaaaaaauuuugh!). The black album is the one which features "Enter Sandman", but I just didn't find the other songs on there to be as memorable.

• New Order - Technique: Being the owner of what I thought was a pretty comprehensive "Best Of" New Order collection, I couldn't believe how little of Technique sounded familiar to me. Aside from opener "Fine Time", this was pretty much all new to me. Still, stumbling upon more of New Order in their prime is a very pleasant surprise.  

• Pink Floyd - Dark Side Of The Moon, Wish You Were Here: Nobody makes records like these any more. Loved the ambiance of Dark Side Of The Moon. Dare I say it I might have enjoyed Wish You Were Here more, the title track and the "Shine On You Crazy Diamond" sequences being sublime.

• Guns N Roses - Appetite For Destruction: "Welcome To The Jungle", "Paradise City", "Sweet Child 'O Mine". Need I say more?

• Pantera - Vulgar Display Of Power: I thought Pantera were one of those mid-80s hair bands, was not expecting to hear this heavy metal classic!

• Public Image Limited - First Issue, Metal Box: Not a big John Lydon fan, nothing much changed in that regard after I gave these a listen. However, I absolutely loved "Public Image" from First Issue.

• Talking Heads - More Songs About Buildings And Food: I knew I'd love this album the moment I read that title.

• Sonic Youth - Daydream Nation: The closing stretch from "Hey Joni" onwards (sides three and four on vinyl) really make this album for me.

• The Black Keys - Brothers

I realise this goes against popular opinion, but I'm not a big fan of The Black Keys. I enjoyed Attack & Release (which I'd put on the list instead of this album) with its sharp garage rock and some nice riffs. But Brothers completely changed my opinion on the band, and not for the better.

I think when the album first came out I'd started to stream it but must have got bored part way through. I can see why now.
At some point (possibly as early as five or six tracks in) this album doesn't so much slow down as completely grind to a halt. I was hopeful of being proved wrong by the opening few songs, but from "Ten Cent Pistol" onwards things got too long, slow and meandering. I was begging for some variety in pace or musicality but never got it.

This basically went against everything that I felt made Attack & Release so good and left me thinking they should heed the advice of their own song and "Tighten Up".
Anyway, rant over.

• John Lennon - The Plastic Ono Band: I've watched "Nowhere Boy" and that docu-drama that had Chris Eccleston playing Lennon in a really crap wig, and to be honest the biggest impression I got from them was "Wow, Lennon was a bit of a dick wasn't he?" So I was pleasantly surprised by this album, the likes of "Mother" sound really great.

• The Strokes - Is This It: Listening to this it's obvious how indebted most of this decade's guitar bands are to this album, you really can't over-emphasise the influence of the guitar-play here at all.

• Peter Gabriel - So: I enjoyed this album. Yes there was some cheesy stuff here with "Big Time" and "Sledgehammer" but it really worked in context. The likes of "Red Rain" and "Mercy Street" are big highlights and illustrate how fantastic Peter's voice was. Plus it's always good to hear Kate Bush on "Don't Give Up".

• Jeff Buckley - Grace: I wasn't expecting so many great guitars to be on this record, given that it's most famous for Buckley's cover of Leonard Cohen's "Hallelujah". From opener "Mojo Pin" onwards I found a much broader album than I was expecting and enjoyed everything on here.

• David Bowie - Low, Hunky Dory, Aladdin Sane, Young Americans, The Rise & Fall Of Ziggy Stardust And The Spiders From Mars

Low was another album I'd playlisted on Spotify and couldn't remember if I'd heard the whole way through. On listening to it this time round I've concluded that I must have but just didn't notice because it ends unexpectedly. Which is a bit of a shame. I think it'd be my favourite Bowie record if it didn't end so suddenly.

Instead I find myself torn between Hunky Dory (which includes "Life On Mars", "Changes" and my personal favourite "Quicksand") and Aladdin Sane.

Ziggy Stardust... on the other hand has one of my favourite closing stretches on an album ever: "Ziggy Stardust", "Suffragette City" and "Rock 'N Roll Suicide", in addition to perhaps my favourite Bowie track "Starman" (which I'd apparently sing at the top of my voice while in my buggy as a wee nipper!).

Before I gave it a listen I'd got the impression Young Americans was a bit controversial amongst Bowie fans - certainly his cover of "Across The Universe" isn't his best, but I found it to be a good listen nonetheless, in particular "Fame".

• Miles Davis - Bitches Brew: Seems I don't like jazz as much as I thought. Apart from the occasional attempts to fuse jazz and psychedelica I found this a bit of a chore to listen to.

• Frankie Goes To Hollywood - Welcome To The Pleasuredome: This album didn't weird me out as much as I thought it would, which I consider a small victory. Their cover of "Born To Run" really wrong footed me though.

• Alanis Morissette - Jagged Little Pill: I thought I liked Alanis Morissette, but listening back to this I was surprised how overwrought I found it all, and how hammy her voice could sound when she overemphasises stuff. (I'll leave it to my friend Liz Lemon to illustrate this below, or if the embed isn't working here.) Big disappointment.

• Green Day - Dookie: I'd first listened to Green Day during their American Idiot phase, it's really weird hearing them being so youthful. Yet another example of great early 90s rock.

• The Offspring - Smash: Listening to this makes me think of Crazy Taxi. Ah the memories! Cracking stuff.

• ELO - Out Of The Blue: Mum reliably informs me this was the first gift my uncle bought my aunt. It looked a bit rambling at first but upon listening I didn't find it outstaying it's welcome. Plus it's impossible to be bored by an album with "Mr Blue Sky" on it. 

• 10cc - Sheet Music
• ABBA - Arrival
• Mike Oldfield - Tubular Bells

I listened to the above three records on vinyl: I was home for the weekend and had a root around some of Mum and Dad's records because if I was going to do this, I had to listen to some of these albums in style at least!

The one I enjoyed the most was Sheet Music by 10cc. Very inventive and poppy, featuring the likes of "The Wall Street Shuffle" and "Oh Effendi".  

Arrival by ABBA was also great fun. Mum and Dad swore they could think of better ABBA albums that deserved to be on the list more, but with the likes of "Dancing Queen", "Knowing Me, Knowing You" (*Alan Partridge voice* ah-haaaa!) and "Money Money Money" I could see why it made the list.

I wasn't too impressed with Tubular Bells though, it just sounded like a very dated attempt to fuse pop and classical - a pointless venture anyway in my book, as The Beatles (Abbey Road's B-side) and Pink Floyd ("Shine On You Crazy Diamond") had already made much more progressive and successful attempts at this.

In addition to all the above, I also gave the following a listen:

• Happy Mondays - Pills Thrills And Bellyaches
• The Verve - Urban Hymns
• Simon & Garfunkel - Bridge Over Troubled Water/Paul Simon - Graceland
• The Smashing Pumpkins - Siamese Dream
• Marvin Gaye - Let's Get It On, What's Going On
• Joy Division - Unknown Pleasures, Closer
• Queen - A Night At The Opera, Sheer Heart Attack
• The Smiths - Meat Is Murder

The first two I found flawed but enjoyable and I could appreciate why they'd made the list. The others I really loved (in particular Bridge Over Troubled Water and Siamese Dream) and are without doubt worthy of the list.


Anyway, I've still got a long way to go. Starting with figuring out what my laptop dislikes about this Eagles CD my Dad's lent me...

1001 Albums Challenge: 56 and counting...

I'm very guilty of making impulse purchases.

This Monday I had a pretty bad case of this: not only did I buy my first pair of chinos (navy blue, £7 in Republic's mid-season sale, I thought "why not?") but I also stumbled across the book 1001 Albums You Must Hear Before You Die, half price in Waterstone's (I know the company don't use the apostrophe any more but it'll always remain in their name for me dammit!).

Having been mulling over putting a running theme/challenge/feature in this blog for quite a while, I saw this book as the ideal opportunity to give myself one: I would listen to all 1001 albums in this book preferably before I die of course, and mention if any make an impression, if I feel they belong in this book etc.
I've already got a to-do-list longer than a Leonard Cohen song, but still I thought it'd be fun to experience some music I wouldn't pay any attention to otherwise.

So, after buying the book, my first job was to see what albums it lists which I've already heard. After trawling through it's pages I've found I can already check off the following:
 

• Arcade Fire - The Suburbs, Funeral
• Janelle Monae - The ArchAndroid: This album is so tragically under the radar (despite The Guardian's epic fan-boy fervour over her) it isn't even funny. Tightrope alone is a classic.

• John Grant - Queen of Denmark
• Beach House - Teen Dream
• The National - High Violet
• Wild Beasts - Two Dancers
• MGMT - Oracular Spectacular
• TV On The Radio - Dear Science
• Elbow - The Seldom Seen Kid
• Justice - Cross
• LCD Soundsystem - Sound of Silver: Another band I absolutely adore. The documentary on their final ever gig, Shut Up And Play The Hits is an absolute must see. I'll probably do a post about this at some point.

• Arctic Monkeys - Whatever People Say I Am, That's What I'm Not
• Lupe Fiasco - Food & Liquor
• Richard Hawley - Coles Corner: *Shameless plug alert* I saw Richard live a little while back, which you can read about here.

• Green Day - American Idiot
• The Streets - A Grand Don't Come For Free
• Mylo - Destroy Rock & Roll: Seriously, whatever happened to Mylo?

• Franz Ferdinand - Franz Ferdinand
• Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds - Abattoir Blues/The Lyre of Orpheus, The Boatman's Call
• Outcast - Speakerboxxx/The Love Below
• Bruce Springsteen - The Rising, Born In The USA, Nebraska, Darkness On The Edge Of Town, Born To Run: Before I bought this book, I made sure to check that it included Darkness On The Edge Of Town. I consider that album to be as essential as oxygen.

• Johnny Cash - American IV: The Man Comes Around, At San Quentin, At Folsom Prison
• The Flaming Lips - Yoshimi Battles The Pink Robots, The Soft Bulletin
• Coldplay - A Rush Of Blood To The Head, Parachutes
• The Avalanches - Since I Left You
• Foo Fighters - Foo Fighters
• Nirvana - MTV Unplugged, Nevermind
• Manic Street Preachers - The Holy Bible
• R.E.M. - Automatic For The People, Green, Document, Murmur: Seriously, they include Green on this list? I wouldn't even put that album on a list of R.E.M. albums to hear before you die! OK, that's a little harsh for an album that has the likes of World Leader Pretend on it, but I'd consider something like Lifes Rich Pageant much more essential.

• Rage Against The Machine - Rage Against The Machine
• Pearl Jam - Ten: Well if there was one Pearl Jam album to make this list it would be this one. I'm just surprised it's their only album on the list though, either Vs or Vitalogy would be prime candidates too.

• The Cure - Disintegration
• Micahel Jackson - Off The Wall
• Neil Young - After The Gold Rush, Tonight's The Night, On The Beach, Harvest
• Paul McCartney & Wings - Band On The Run
• The Rolling Stones - Exile On Main St.
• The Beatles - Abbey Road, The White Album, Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band, Revolver, Rubber Soul

Totting up the scores, that put me on 56 albums. I thought it might have been more, but unsurprisingly the further back in time the book went, the fewer albums I'd heard.

So now my task is to add to this total, and I'm going to use this blog to keep my progress up to date. I'll probably tack my updates on the end of any meaningful posts I make (like maybe when I get round to talking about the LCD Soundsystem film) rather than have them as dedicated posts.

With music more readily available than ever these days I'm hoping this won't prove too hard. I've already found 120+ of the albums in the book on Youtube and put them in a playlist which I'm snaking my way through as I speak.

I guess when I reach the end I may start talking about any notable omissions etc. But that'll probably be a long way off.
Wish me luck.

The Thick Of It Series 4 - Favourite Quips and Quotables

Last night marked the end of what many (including the creators) reckon to be the last ever series of The Thick Of It, one of the most sweary, satirical, sharp and hilarious comedies of the past decade: a brilliant send-up of spin and the SPAD (special adviser) culture of modern day British politics.

The show has made Peter Capaldi a household name for his tour-de-force performance as media strategist/spin doctor Malcolm Tucker and has seen writer/creator Armando Ianucci earn levels of critical acclaim than quite possibly even supersedes that which he received for Alan Partridge.

As mentioned, the show is famous for it's swearing and scything put downs and even has it's own "swearing consultant" in the shape of Ian Martin. Over the years there have been some corkers - some, such as Malcolm's description of then DoSAC minister Nicola Murray as an "omnishambles" have percolated into our popular culture so deep to the extent that Ed Milliband has even used the phrase in Prime Minister's Questions.

This series has seen its fair share of "zingers" too. The entire series is available to watch on iPlayer until next Saturday, and I'd advise you to check it out (links are in the headers below), but for now I thought I'd share some of my favourite lines.

Episode 1

Synopsis: Peter Mannion, the Secretary of State for Social Affairs, is told to launch his coalition partner Fergus's new 'Networked Nation' policy at a school. Peter doesn't even know how to right-click a mouse and would rather be celebrating his wedding anniversary.

Favourite lines: 

"There's no happiness without order. A Nazi quote, but nevertheless stands the test of time." Phil Smith, SPAD to Peter Mannion MP.

"What do you ask for, the Disney Prince?" Adam Kenyon, SPAD to Fergus Williams MP, on Phil's haircut.

"I hate schoolchildren, they're volatile and stupid and they haven't got the vote, I might as well be talking to fucking geese!" Peter

"Did you see me being deliberately less professional than usual?" Terri Coverly, Director of Communications, DoSAC

"It's like asking a dog if it understands the concept of Norway." Fergus

"I reserve this level of anger for when I'm flying RyanAir" Stewart Pearson, Director of Communications,Cabinet Office

"You used a load of words this morning, it was like a fucking Will Self lecture." Peter

"I'm bored of this, I'm going for a Twix." Peter

Episode 2

Synopsis: Nicola Murray is breaking in her new policy advisor, Helen Hatley. When Helen is accidentally photographed holding notes from an ideas meeting, Nicola is understandably angry.

Favourite lines:

"Big shit, granola, check the email, shower and shave, espresso, sometimes a second shit." Ben Swain MP describing his morning routine.

"A pony isn't a baby horse, it's a foal, a fucking foal." Malcolm

"I don't think you got enough hugs as a child." Helen Hatley, SPAD to Nicola Murray, on Malcolm.

"Don't send Ben to the backbenches 'cause he'll just wank and eat Pringles - leather seats are an invitation to men like him." Malcolm

"Whisper-boarding, he calls it." Ollie Reader, SPAD to Nicola Murray, on Malcolm's super-quiet bollocking technique.

"What is this, Tinker Tailor Soldier Cunt?" Malcolm, whilst conspiring with deputy leader of the opposition Dan Miller MP in a cupboard.

"That WAS a U-turn, if I do another U-turn then I'll have done an O-turn!" Nicola

"The first rule of breakfast club is we don't talk about breakfast club." Ollie

Episode 3

Synopsis: Stewart Pearson is running 'Thought Camp' at a remote country house hotel. Meanwhile, Phil is surprised to find the ministerial offices less than deserted. Then all political hell is let loose when an unexpected and tragic news story breaks.

Favourite lines:

"This Mind Kampf is in the middle of nowhere" Peter

"Let's McIntyre this: stand up." Stewart

"Tickel wasn't the Queens of people's hearts, he was a twat in a tent." Phil

"I mean we all have children, yeah? Well, I don't literally but..." Stewart

"Now we're in Government and it's all gone a bit J G Ballard..." Peter

"I'm fucking in charge, and I'm going Nordic drama!" Fergus

"If it's Ben Swain we all shout Sweaty Swain as he dehydrates himself through PMQs, Holhurst looks like a Shepperd dressed up to meet the Queen and if it's Dan Miller we're fucked" Peter summarises potential new Leaders of the Opposition.

"Any second now he's going to do the imaginary tits" Stewart on Fergus' gesticulation.

Episode 4

Synopsis: With opposition leader Nicola on a long train journey to attend the party's Here 2 Hear event in Bradford, Malcolm Tucker is free to launch his latest plot.

Side-note: This for me is the episode where they really started to turn on the style again. As brilliant as episode 6 (with it's drastic change of format) and 7 were, this was my favourite episode this series and up there with the "Rise of the Nutters"/"Spinners and Losers" specials and series 3 as the peak of the series.

Favourite lines:

"Sam, hi, listen can you do me a favour? Buy some flowers for Nicola fucking Murray. Yeah, have them delivered to her home this evening with a card that says 'Sorry you had to go, but let's face it, you are a fucking waste of skin'. Waste of skin, yeah" Malcolm, preparing for the end of the Murray era.

"I'm looking for Mr Oliver Reader, he looks a bit like a Quintin Blake illustration." Malcolm

Ollie[on Nicola]: Is she fucked?
Malcolm: Like Caligula's favourite melon.

Nicola: Still not knocking I see Malcolm?
Malcolm: Ah sorry, it's an old habit from my time with the Haitian death squad.

"C'mon, you cannot look a gift-corpse in the mouth" Malcolm

"I need you lot to make like a tree and fuck off." Malcolm

"...and you mean Foreign Secretary - that's not code for Northern Ireland is it? I'm not fucking going there." Ben negotiating his position.

"You can't go first class, it's career suicide, might as well just do a shit in the aisle" Helen [a very prophetic quote given what happened recently to our Chancellor.]

"He goes into debt every time he passes a sweet shop" Glenn Cullen on Ben's chances as Chancellor.

"You are a diamond, Glenn, not just any form of ageing carbon, the best kind." Ollie

"Nicola, I can't find Benjamin Glutton anywhere." Malcolm on Ben

"These phones are amazing, aren't they? I've got an application here that can throw grenades into people's dreams." Malcolm


The following quotes were all made by John Duggan, press officer for the Opposition, which sees Miles Jupp reprise his excellent guest turn from series three as a man whose job seems to be "depriving a village somewhere of a twat" to quote Nicola. Definitely up there with Julius Nicholson as far as cameos go:

"All aboard the Hogwarts Express for Nicola Potter and the Prisoner of Azka-Bradford"

"It's alright drinking on a train, isn't it? It's one of those places where alcohol is acceptable any time of the day. Like a casino, or Cardiff."

[On Ben Swain's resignation] "What is it, a sex scandal? I bet he pays for it, is he a gaylord or something?"

"Having an accurate wee into a train cubicle toilet would make a great round on The Cube."

 Episode 5

Synopsis: Both government and opposition try to spin their way to the moral high ground following the key worker housing scandal. Some are even calling for an inquiry.

Favourite lines: 

"The man made of space hopper" Peter describing Stewart.

"He's as dodgy as a Russian... well as a Russian!" Phil

"The blind man's crumpet's on the way up... no smiling, not even a wee Anne Robinson. The look we're going for is solemn respect, like blokes modelling underpants." Malcolm prepares for the arrival of a newly-resigned Nicola.

"You are not a grandee, you're a fucking blandee. No one knew what the fuck you stood for. Political fucking mist. No substance, no weight. You've got all the charm of a rotting teddy bear by a graveside." Malcolm to Nicola.

 "I go from being a turnip to a leak, but still a fucking vegetable to you, is that it?" Glenn upon Fergus and Adam requesting he leak an email.

"Mr Tickel sounds like a gropey clown at a children's party." from the chain of emails on the recently deceased and homeless NHS key worker Mr Tickel.

Malcolm: It's the end of the world as we know it... to paraphrase a popular fucking Bangles song.
Ollie: ...It was R.E.M.
Malcolm: DON'T start contradicting me on that kind of shit.

Episode 6

Synopsis: Lord Goolding's inquiry into the key worker housing scandal begins. The truth will finally come out. Unless, of course, anyone has any sudden lapses of memory.

Favourite lines:

"I was over that pre-Brit pop." Stewart on leaking.

"Well, despite your shirt, this isn't CSI:Miami" Baroness Sureka to Stewart.

"The Guardian: The newspaper that hates newspaper" Malcolm

"If you didn't have leaking, newspapers would just be full of long-lense bikini shots and adverts for sheds and offers to buy three pairs of trousers for a tenner etc" Malcolm

"You cannot not know what you now know." Malcolm

"I really don't want the last thing I said to be skin flakes." Fergus

"Fucking Florence Shitingale"; "How many Mr Tickel's does it take to change a light bulb? He doesn't have a lightbulb, he's in a tent."; "The fucker's a nutbag." sample quotes from the leaked DoSAC emails on Mr Tickel.

"Dealing with the press is not so much herding cats as it is herding sheep" Terri

"I found her quite funny without resorting to vulgarity." Malcolm on Terri's testimony [no doubt an in-joke by the writers on this episode's change in tone].

"I think that it's a good idea to have an inquiry ever now and then." Nicola

"Mr Tucker threatened to remove Mr Reader's appendix, throw away Mr Reader and appoint the useless flap of colon as special adviser." eyewitness account of Malcolm in action.

"Does a cow drink milk?" Glenn

"He's a man without a spine." Glenn on Ollie.

"How dare you blame me for this, which is the result of a political class which has given up on morality and simply pursues popularity at all costs." Malcolm

"I'm finished anyway, you didn't finish me." Malcolm

Episode 7 

Synopsis: The Home Office have cut police numbers. At Malcolm's suggestion, Dan Miller gets sent on a fact-finding mission to the local cop-shop.

Favourite lines:

"I started writing you a letter but it just seemed pretentious." Phil attempting to apologise to Peter.

"I am an f-wording professional!" Terri

"I thought we weren't talking to the Proclaimers?" Phil on Fergus and Adam.

"I'm bitchin' yes, I'm as busy as a two-twatted hooker." Malcolm

"I don't take advice from someone who looks like he waxes his hair by sticking his head up a cow's vagina." Malcolm to Ollie.

"One of the many things that baffles me about you is that you remain unmurdered." Adam to Terri.

"Police stations are heaving like the hedgehog carvery at a gypsy wedding." Malcolm

"What about your sister Glenn? You've got to whitewash her walls!" Terri, after Glenn reveals he's handing himself into the police.

"This is lower than my mother's pelvic floor." Nicola on being interviewed by the man in the chop suit that's stalked her all series.

"Just doing one thing at a time are you, because you're a uni-tasker?" Peter to Terri.

"That was better than IMAX Inception!" Phil after Glenn's rant dressing down the entire department.

"With [Malcolm] gone, I feel fresh hope we can mend and rebuild a credible politics of integrity and honour." Nicola [all said with the pork chop suit in the background.]

"...It doesn't matter." Malcolm, after his arrest.